If I Were Funny Quotes

Collection of top 68 famous quotes about If I Were Funny

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If I Were Funny Quotes By Richard Roberts: We all flinched as Ray flipped the breaker We all flinched as Ray flipped the breaker back on, but my laboratory again failed to erupt in flames. It must be a mad scientist record. Richard Roberts
If I Were Funny Quotes By Christopher Buckley: I think I got a lot of my I think I got a lot of my 'funny' DNA from my mother, who had a glorious sense of the ridiculous. Christopher Buckley
If I Were Funny Quotes By Ilona Andrews: One does not simply ring Roland.Oh boy. I One does not simply ring Roland.
Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next.
Ilona Andrews
If I Were Funny Quotes By Paul Feig: I have an inability to enjoy things, but I have an inability to enjoy things, but that's why we're in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn't be funny, I guess. Paul Feig
If I Were Funny Quotes By Me: I'm so careless that now i don't even I'm so careless that now i don't even care if i cared about you. Me
If I Were Funny Quotes By Todd Phillips: I think people like comedies and I think I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff. Todd Phillips
If I Were Funny Quotes By Anne Lamott: It is funny how no one seems to It is funny how no one seems to want my always excellent advice. Anne Lamott
If I Were Funny Quotes By Sarah Mayberry: If I let you go are you going If I let you go are you going to hit me again?"
"What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go.
Sarah Mayberry
If I Were Funny Quotes By Lloyd Alexander: -"He loved her ... It was noble of -"He loved her ... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."
-"It was stupid.
Lloyd Alexander
If I Were Funny Quotes By Karyn Bosnak: Life is funny; it really is. Life is funny; it really is. — Karyn Bosnak
If I Were Funny Quotes By Alex Potvin: I would have grown up to be a I would have grown up to be a gentleman adventurer if I were more of a gentleman. — Alex Potvin
If I Were Funny Quotes By Bill Maher: To most Christians, the Bible is like a To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'. — Bill Maher
If I Were Funny Quotes By Seth Godin: Please stop waiting for a map. We reward Please stop waiting for a map. We reward those who draw maps, not those who follow them. — Seth Godin
If I Were Funny Quotes By Claude Lelouch: It's funny: half my films were flops, half It's funny: half my films were flops, half did well. It would be terrible if I'd had only success. — Claude Lelouch
If I Were Funny Quotes By Don Rickles: If I were to insult people and mean If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. — Don Rickles
If I Were Funny Quotes By Demetri Martin: I think a lot of stuff I find I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming. — Demetri Martin
If I Were Funny Quotes By Henny Youngman: Was that suit made to order? Where were Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time? — Henny Youngman
If I Were Funny Quotes By Shubham Choudhary: If I were you, I'd go and do If I were you, I'd go and do that. : Vikalp
That's why you're not me! : Yatharth. — Shubham Choudhary
If I Were Funny Quotes By Simone Elkeles: Cause if you were my girlfriend and a Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder. — Simone Elkeles
If I Were Funny Quotes By Michael Fassbender: At one point you think, well, it's funny, At one point you think, well, it's funny, I could just be a starving actor. So if somebody were to pull the plug, there'd be no room for complaint. — Michael Fassbender
If I Were Funny Quotes By Hayden Thorne: Look, if I were straight, you'd be grandparents Look, if I were straight, you'd be grandparents before your time. You should be relieved that I'm gay. Aren't you grateful? — Hayden Thorne
If I Were Funny Quotes By Bob Monkhouse: I got my start in silent radio. I got my start in silent radio. — Bob Monkhouse
If I Were Funny Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield: When I was a kid we were so When I was a kid we were so poor, if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with. — Rodney Dangerfield
If I Were Funny Quotes By John Zakour: I often say if men were meant to I often say if men were meant to fly we would have been born with either feathers and wings or at the very least parachutes that pop out of our butts. — John Zakour
If I Were Funny Quotes By Yogi Berra: I don't know (if they were men or I don't know (if they were men or women running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads. — Yogi Berra
If I Were Funny Quotes By Stephen Wright: A lot of people ask me if I A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat. — Stephen Wright
If I Were Funny Quotes By Carla H. Krueger: Someone once said writing and gardening are similar Someone once said writing and gardening are similar pursuits. Tell you what, I'd have one fucked up garden if that were the case. — Carla H. Krueger
If I Were Funny Quotes By Russell Howard: If I were to die of anything vaguely If I were to die of anything vaguely sex-related or had taken Viagra, you just know there'd be headlines of 'Russell How-hard' in the newspapers. — Russell Howard
If I Were Funny Quotes By Travis J. Dahnke: I think the world would be a simpler I think the world would be a simpler place if 'douche' and 'touche' were pronounced the same. — Travis J. Dahnke
If I Were Funny Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: Let me be clear: I don't want to Let me be clear: I don't want to make love to a mannequin - I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo
If I Were Funny Quotes By Elizabeth Scott: Please. If you were mostly dead in the Please. If you were mostly dead in the middle of the road I'd obviously stop. And then I'd watch you die.
Kate to Will — Elizabeth Scott
If I Were Funny Quotes By Nelson Jack: Being good has nothing to do with being Being good has nothing to do with being a Boy !!. Better is the latter! — Nelson Jack
If I Were Funny Quotes By Stephanie Perkins: How much detention did you get?Two weeks. One How much detention did you get?
Two weeks. One per arsehole. — Stephanie Perkins
If I Were Funny Quotes By Lois Greiman: Luck is merely a product of the happily Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind. — Lois Greiman
If I Were Funny Quotes By Dave Grohl: It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. — Dave Grohl
If I Were Funny Quotes By David Letterman: Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the Stars.' — David Letterman
If I Were Funny Quotes By Avril Lavigne: As humans we speak one language ... As humans we speak one language ... — Avril Lavigne
If I Were Funny Quotes By Brandon Sanderson: You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson
If I Were Funny Quotes By Rebecca Brooks: Moving on was going to require leaving the Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth. — Rebecca Brooks
If I Were Funny Quotes By Holly Black: He runs to the sink to spit it He runs to the sink to spit it out. I grin. There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery. — Holly Black
If I Were Funny Quotes By Jim Norton: I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire. — Jim Norton
If I Were Funny Quotes By Michael Summers: I had a dream about you last night. I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline. — Michael Summers
If I Were Funny Quotes By Mehmet Murat Ildan: Most man can think no better than a Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs! — Mehmet Murat Ildan
If I Were Funny Quotes By Andrew Barger: Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.""Right, Virg. Groupies Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward."
"Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger
If I Were Funny Quotes By Jerry Seinfeld: If a book about failures doesn't sell, is If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? — Jerry Seinfeld
If I Were Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I want to make a vending machine that I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It'd have to be real big. — Mitch Hedberg
If I Were Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: The ballgame is over ... in this inning. The ballgame is over ... in this inning. — Jerry Coleman
If I Were Funny Quotes By Tammara Webber: She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then. — Tammara Webber
If I Were Funny Quotes By Nick Hornby: She wanted to be given a funny script She wanted to be given a funny script so that she could make it funnier. — Nick Hornby
If I Were Funny Quotes By Eric Drooker: I find it very difficult to be funny, I find it very difficult to be funny, it's much easier to do tragedy than it is to do comedy. — Eric Drooker
If I Were Funny Quotes By Anonymous: Text messages are dying a funny kind of Text messages are dying a funny kind of death. — Anonymous
If I Were Funny Quotes By Orson Scott Card: In the silence, the bear died. It was In the silence, the bear died. It was a cute death, with funny music. — Orson Scott Card
If I Were Funny Quotes By Caprice Bourret: It's so funny to think that I used It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless. — Caprice Bourret
If I Were Funny Quotes By Caitlin Hale: Jack Black is so funny! On and off Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious. — Caitlin Hale
If I Were Funny Quotes By Robin Williams: If it's the Psychic Network why do they If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? — Robin Williams
If I Were Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: If I was a mechanic and someone called If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!" — Mitch Hedberg
If I Were Funny Quotes By Jim Gaffigan: I see some people with glasses here, I I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" — Jim Gaffigan
If I Were Funny Quotes By David Eddings: You're impossible," she told him. "Of course I You're impossible," she told him.
"Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. — David Eddings