I Want You Funny Quotes: top 61 famous quotes about I Want You Funny

I Want You Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational I Want You Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I Want You Funny Quotes By Amy Tintera: Want to dance? We have music this time.

Want to dance? We have music this time. And I don't have to punch you when we finish. — Amy Tintera

I Want You Funny Quotes By Albert Brooks: I don't want to be the one to

I don't want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain't that funny. — Albert Brooks

I Want You Funny Quotes By Gena Showalter: To answer your question, you want me because

To answer your question, you want me because I'm made of awesome. — Gena Showalter

I Want You Funny Quotes By Julie Kagawa: While I'm fixing up this idiot. I want

While I'm fixing up this idiot. I want you to get some sleep ... and tell Amano that if he bothers you, I'll break his other leg. — Julie Kagawa

I Want You Funny Quotes By Zoe Forward: You're going to be trouble, aren't you?""Not if

You're going to be trouble, aren't you?"
"Not if you give me everything I want."
"We'll see. — Zoe Forward

I Want You Funny Quotes By Abraham Lincoln: My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully. — Abraham Lincoln

I Want You Funny Quotes By Merrie Haskell: I understand that you don't want to marry

I understand that you don't want to marry me," I said. "I mean, I don't know why, since I'm simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste. — Merrie Haskell

I Want You Funny Quotes By Tim Vine: So I went in to a pet shop.

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is." — Tim Vine

I Want You Funny Quotes By Cassandra Clare: What I actually want to call you is

What I actually want to call you is a hell of a lot more unprintable than your name — Cassandra Clare

I Want You Funny Quotes By Hunter S. Thompson: What do you want? Where's the goddamn ice

What do you want? Where's the goddamn ice I ordered? Where's the booze? There's a war on, man! People are being killed! — Hunter S. Thompson

I Want You Funny Quotes By Kellan Lutz: It's funny when people say you have sex

It's funny when people say you have sex appeal or call you the next Brad Pitt. I just laugh. I'm not that. I don't want to be that. — Kellan Lutz

I Want You Funny Quotes By Joan Rivers: I said to my husband, 'Why don't you

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.' — Joan Rivers

I Want You Funny Quotes By Lauren Barnholdt: You're not eating the cheese, Frank says accusingly.

You're not eating the cheese, Frank says accusingly. And you're fucking my mom, I want to say back. — Lauren Barnholdt

I Want You Funny Quotes By Casey Scieszka: Dear Fly, I love you. If you are

Dear Fly,

I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse. You are a fly, so I want to be shit. — Casey Scieszka

I Want You Funny Quotes By Amy Poehler: Hey Lady I don't want to fuck you

Hey Lady I don't want to fuck you husband . — Amy Poehler

I Want You Funny Quotes By Pamela Anderson: You don't want to have to be the

You don't want to have to be the man and the woman in the relationship. I always say you want a man who can fix the toilet. — Pamela Anderson

I Want You Funny Quotes By Jesse Ball: If you want to say, Lucia, there is

If you want to say, Lucia, there is no inside of the park benches, I won't argue with you. But, then you have to say where the pigeons come from. — Jesse Ball

I Want You Funny Quotes By Dashiell Hammett: I said: All right, talk, but do you

I said: All right, talk, but do you mind putting the gun away? My wife doesn't care, but I'm pregnant and I don't want the child to be born with ... — Dashiell Hammett

I Want You Funny Quotes By Nenia Campbell: You mean you don't want to come in

You mean you don't want to come in and hold my hand while I piss? — Nenia Campbell

I Want You Funny Quotes By Jerry Seinfeld: I don't need you to be funny. I

I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained. — Jerry Seinfeld

I Want You Funny Quotes By Katie MacAlister: Do you want me to ride you like

Do you want me to ride you like a rented mule, or do you prefer to be Mr. Missionary Position? I'm fine with wither, so it doesn't matter to me. — Katie MacAlister

I Want You Funny Quotes By Erica Orloff: Breathe! Breathe! I urged Lily. You can do

Breathe! Breathe! I urged Lily. You can do this naturally.
Fuck that. I want my epidural as soon as we get there. — Erica Orloff

I Want You Funny Quotes By Mike Birbiglia: I'm walking out my door to get like

I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No ... got any Snapple?' — Mike Birbiglia

I Want You Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: If you want to talk to me after

If you want to talk to me after the show, I'd be surprised. — Mitch Hedberg

I Want You Funny Quotes By Sharon Swan: I'm a happy person. If you want to

I'm a happy person. If you want to be around me, you can either choose to be happy too, or follow the signs to the nearest exit! — Sharon Swan

I Want You Funny Quotes By Lauren Oliver: It's funny, isn't it? When you are young

It's funny, isn't it? When you are young you just want to be old, and then later you wish you could go back to being a kid. — Lauren Oliver

I Want You Funny Quotes By Russell Howard: Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT

Inner child, what do you suggest? 'I WANT A TREEHOUSE!' Anything else to add? 'FARTY NOISE UNDER THE ARM!' — Russell Howard

I Want You Funny Quotes By Nenia Campbell: Hello, Mrs. Tran ... I have David's homework.

Hello, Mrs. Tran ... I have David's homework. And if you ever want to see it again, you'll pay me the two million dollars I asked for. — Nenia Campbell

I Want You Funny Quotes By Kresley Cole: Tell me, Lothaire, I want to know. Convince

Tell me, Lothaire, I want to know. Convince me why I should love you."
"Because any other female would! — Kresley Cole

I Want You Funny Quotes By Dominique Frost: Now go to sleep. I'll wake you up

Now go to sleep. I'll wake you up when I want you."
"Should I just sleep with my legs spread or what? — Dominique Frost

I Want You Funny Quotes By T.J. Klune: I don't think this is working out between

I don't think this is working out between us," I told him. "You and I want different things. It's not me, it's you. — T.J. Klune

I Want You Funny Quotes By Gemma Halliday: I had to admit it was adorable. You

I had to admit it was adorable. You know, in a unicorns-farting-out-rainbows kind of way that made me want to hurl. — Gemma Halliday

I Want You Funny Quotes By Jim Gaffigan: You think when gym teachers were younger, they're

You think when gym teachers were younger, they're thinking, "You know, I want to teach ... but I don't want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?" — Jim Gaffigan

I Want You Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I want to rob a bank with a

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. "Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win." — Mitch Hedberg

I Want You Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I want to get a job naming kitchen

I want to get a job naming kitchen appliances. That seems easy; refrigerator, toaster, blender. You just say what the thing does and add "er". — Mitch Hedberg

I Want You Funny Quotes By Matsuri Hino: And For You Zero, A Life Sized Vudu

And For You Zero, A Life Sized Vudu Doll"
-Kaname Kuran
"I DONT WANT IT!"
-Zero Kiryu
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
-Juri Elizabeth Marin — Matsuri Hino

I Want You Funny Quotes By Tim Vine: This policeman came up to me with a

This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to trace someone for me." — Tim Vine

I Want You Funny Quotes By A.O. Storm: No, I don't want you to leave. I'm

No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE — A.O. Storm

I Want You Funny Quotes By Kyle Adams: First, I'm going to teach you how to

First, I'm going to teach you how to Irish Whip someone."
"Oh, that sounds kinky. I want my safeword to be peaches," I said, grinning. — Kyle Adams

I Want You Funny Quotes By Bill Burr: To me this is not yelling. I am

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again. — Bill Burr

I Want You Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I went to the store and bought eight

I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle." — Mitch Hedberg

I Want You Funny Quotes By Tim Heidecker: I'm always in situations where you can't be

I'm always in situations where you can't be funny, and yet I want to do it anyway. — Tim Heidecker

I Want You Funny Quotes By F Scott Fitzgerald: I want you to lie to me just

I want you to lie to me just as sweetly as you know how for the rest of my life. — F Scott Fitzgerald

I Want You Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just

I want to get non-aerosol mace, you just rub it in. "Dude who is attacking me - come a little closer!" — Mitch Hedberg

I Want You Funny Quotes By Mark Schiff: When somebody says, "The last thing I want

When somebody says, "The last thing I want to do is hurt you," it means they've got other things to do first. — Mark Schiff

I Want You Funny Quotes By Henny Youngman: A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!" — Henny Youngman

I Want You Funny Quotes By Elle Kennedy: And all those things you listed right now,

And all those things you listed right now, they're
things Garrett and I do together. Dude, you don't want me. You want me and
Garrett. — Elle Kennedy

I Want You Funny Quotes By Jimmy Fallon: I know what you want. And I know

I know what you want. And I know what you need. But I'm gonna screw it up, yeah, cause I'm an idiot. And I'm your boyfriend. — Jimmy Fallon

I Want You Funny Quotes By Ellen Hopkins: I don't believe in God, don't believe in

I don't believe in God, don't believe in the devil. Unless you want to count my mother. She might be Satan's sister, I suppose. — Ellen Hopkins

I Want You Funny Quotes By Jon Lovitz: You want everyone to be great and funny.

You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny. — Jon Lovitz

I Want You Funny Quotes By Lauren Layne: I mean, why would you want the funny

I mean, why would you want the funny sidekick when you can have the heroine? — Lauren Layne

I Want You Funny Quotes By Stacey Jay: I want to woo you with food now

I want to woo you with food now that I've wooed you with words, song, and the magic of my interpretive dance. — Stacey Jay

I Want You Funny Quotes By Tom Waits: On my gravestone, I want it to say,

On my gravestone, I want it to say, "I told you I was sick." — Tom Waits

I Want You Funny Quotes By Stacey Wallace Benefiel: Dude, could you please get off my girlfriend

Dude, could you please get off my girlfriend before I beat the crap out of you ? I don't want to injure her. — Stacey Wallace Benefiel

I Want You Funny Quotes By Mark Twain: You may say what you want to, but

You may say what you want to, but in my opinion she had more sand in her than any girl I ever see; in my opinion she was just full of sand. — Mark Twain

I Want You Funny Quotes By Ke$ha: I want to show you that you can

I want to show you that you can be funny and hot. You can drink and read. People are still getting used to what I am. — Ke$ha

I Want You Funny Quotes By Charlie Cochet: Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you

Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.
-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet

I Want You Funny Quotes By Adam Jay Epstein: I want my lobster in bite-sized pieces! How

I want my lobster in bite-sized pieces! How dare you make me chew more than thrice? — Adam Jay Epstein

I Want You Funny Quotes By Chris Rock: I think all the funny people were bullied.

I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central? — Chris Rock

I Want You Funny Quotes By Nenia Campbell: We both want you dead. I'm bringing the

We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting. — Nenia Campbell

I Want You Funny Quotes By Adrian Barnes: I said,'What's your problem?' Asshole." There was a

I said,'What's your problem?' Asshole." There was a question behind his question, and that shadow question was 'Do you want to dance? — Adrian Barnes