
We made love like green is blue. That's because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow. —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor Oil). —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I love you like a fat kid love cake. —
Curtis Jackson

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. —
Douglas Adams

I make love like a snake disguised as an elephant and a donkey. But I mustn't talk about sexual congress and Congress simultaneously. —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I love to swim. When I jump in the water, I feel like I'm 12 years old again. It's really funny how it does that to me. —
Summer Sanders

I don't like half the folks I love. —
Paul Thorn

On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man. —
Jim Davidson

Um ... Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed
—
Rachel Hawkins

I love a lot of comedy actors and actresses like Kristen Wiig and Tina Fey and all those women who are really brilliant and funny. —
Saoirse Ronan

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl. —
Norm MacDonald

I felt like an animal, and animals don't know sin, do they? —
Jess C. Scott

My love is sticky, like glue. I'd kill a horse just to give you some. —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes. —
Bo Burnham

I make love like never, only less often. —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Let me be clear: I don't want to make love to a mannequin - I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed. —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Dammit. I think I'm in like with the naked man I met today. —
R.J. Gonzales

I feel no grief for being called something
which
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub —
Charles Bukowski

I love doing funny promos like the ones I did wrestling Rey Mysterio. —
Kurt Angle

I like drama. I love being in a drama where I get to be the funny guy. That's what I really love the most. —
John Leguizamo

When I opened the door, Andrew was standing there like a remedy for heart palpitations. Or maybe he made them worse. It was hard to tell. —
N.R. Walker

I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours. —
Chris Eigeman

I'd love to be able to fit in a box. Like one of those people who fit into small boxes. I'd love it. —
Robert Pattinson

I would love to do something like 'Beverly Hills Cop'. I'd get to be funny and cool and heroic all in the same breath. —
Ja Rule

I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore! —
Mike Birbiglia

I love your hairless chest." She nuzzled his pecs. "So smooth and sculpted. Like a marble manslut statue. —
Nicole Archer

I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home. —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I love like I'm thirsty. Can I offer you a tall glass of Sahara sand? —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I make love like farm equipment - not to farm equipment. There is a difference, though my cousin can't tell it. —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I'd like to say I'm not dressed up for anyone in particular, but that would be a lie. —
Lisa Daily

I love full on, like 65 mph in a handicapped parking spot. —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I love being in love, but I also love other things, like not being jealous, overly sensitive, or needy. —
Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I like cats. They don't care if you love Jesus. —
Miss Merikan

I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. —
Mitt Romney

I have only one way to blow the steam off, i make money, you spend money thats funny,now i'm smilling like thats honey —
Mohlalefi J Motsima

I love it when you talk clean to me, quoting training manuals like sonnets. —
Amanda Hocking