Humor Relationships Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Humor Relationships
Humor Relationships Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor Relationships quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
If a boy doesn't respect his mother...run!
— Tracy Yates
My old man taught me to never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die.
— Tommy Tran
If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right.
— Brian Andreas
For someone who is supposed to be a knight in shining armor, you're acting like an ass in aluminum foil.
— Lisa Logue
Life - with or without softener- is hard
— Kate Papas
The question isn't who will be with me in life, rather how will I create the ending I am proud of?
— Shannon L. Alder
She wants to paint the living room yellow. I have not the words.
— Mil Millington
Love is a damagemade to the heart,
violence,
fate thats written,
Changeable by distance,
Breakable by time ... ! — Honey Father
Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.
— Carroll Bryant
Nobody understood why opposites attracted, and anybody who said they did was probably selling a book.
— Lynn Blackmar
I see uncool people!
— Tonya Hurley
You know what really fries my Puerto rican pancakes?
— Mark Gungor
This isn't so much romance as it is opportunity [victor mancini]
— Chuck Palahniuk
When your diary is full and your life is empty, get a date
— Benny Bellamacina
Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with.
— Candace Bushnell
Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guyseither for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right. — Eugene Mirman
Why do relationships have to be so complicated?
— Erin Hunter
In every relationship one must sacrifice to show thy love. Are you willing to make sacrifices for someone you love?
— Jonathan Anthony Burkett
Don't pursue anything that doesn't fill your soul with joy because you can always go to Disneyland.
— Shannon L. Alder
The only difference between kids and jungle animals is pants. Kids wear them. Jungle animals don't.
— Denis Leary
If you can't be yours while being mine, maybe you aren't as yours as you'd like to convince yourself that you are.
— Aleksandra Ninkovic
I don't want a new man.""I'll be dead someday," my mother said. "And then what? You'll wish you had someone."
"I have a hamster. — Janet Evanovich
Men are men, mortal or not.
— K.C. Randall
We made love like green is blue. That's because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Sometimes, something meaningless occurs, somewhere with meaning.
— F. Thomas Vincent
I'm trusting you not to break my heart. If it gets even a scratch, I'll break your face. -Shaye
— Gena Showalter
Next thing I know you've run off to Paris and thrown yourself under the nearest Frenchman-
— Nicholls David
Human relationships are not rocket sciencethe are far, far more complicated — James W. Pennebaker
We're only five years apart," I said defiantly. "If you look at some of those dysfunctional vampyre relationships, we're near normal.
— Heather Heffner
If all I have to do is remain awake to be considered romantic, than I can promise you a great deal of romance in our marriage.
— Sherry Thomas
You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape.
— J. Richard Singleton
To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I had a dream about you last night ... Well I say dream I mean nightmare ... you were a Yankee fan.
— Nicole McKay
Poverty does not always prevent a rich person from dating someone who is poor, unless the man is the one who is poor.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Had she punished him enough? How could she be sure?
— Anne Taintor
Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious.
— Scott Dikkers
I have something very important to say to you, but I can't tell you what it is. It's a very important thing, but I'll tell you another time.
— Rhona Cameron
A lot about Congress is about forming good working relationships with people, and humor can really help you do that.
— Linda Sanchez
Ain't No Drama Like Bedroom Drama
— Renata D. Johnson
Stop looking for your better half! You need to be whole to attract your better whole, if you expect to have a flourishing relationship.
— Valerie J. Lewis Coleman
Why you wanna treat Mama like she ain't got sense?
— Hunter Murphy
Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees.
— Nelson DeMille
Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. - Durzo Blint
— Brent Weeks
He's a mass of contradictions. Unfortunately, that only seems to enhance his appeal. I'm one sick bitch, that's for sure.
— Siobhan Davis
You've got an awfully kissable mouth.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
I think we should wean Grandma.
— Renata Suerth
Trying to figure out a person that you don't know is like foreplaywith no consummation. — Jacqueline Simon Gunn
I don't see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain't much of a recommendation for it.
— Larry McMurtry
How could I be sleeping with this particular man ... Surely only true love could justify my lack of taste.
— Margaret Atwood
He is a unicorn. I want to gently capture him and bring him back to my lab for research.
— Amanda Mosher
He comes.And he comes
loaded
with noise pollution.
If I ever prayed for anything,
it was for a man
to shut up. — Casey Renee Kiser
Wouldn't it be great if life was only Legos? If we could give our kids the right, simple building blocks?
— Chris Bent
Just two naked guys enjoying a manly hug in the middle of the apocalypse. - Cody Forester, Werewolf Apocalypse
— Roxanne Smolen
Trust is not hoping your partner will love you; it is KNOWING that they DO.
— Julieanne O'Connor
I had a dream about you last night ... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs.
— Amy Summers
She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
How is it a vegan won't visit the zoo or rodeo, but you'll level a man with martial arts?
— DiAnn Mills
A woman could love a jackass. She could not love a son of a bitch. Many have tried, Gideon. Many have tried.
— Deanna Raybourn
If you're trapped in the dream of the Other, you're fucked.
— Gilles Deleuze
The color of her eyes was mossy gold. It make me want to write crap poetry and hire a skywriter. Quinn Sullivan
— Penny Reid
Courting is an activity where a man and a woman flaunt their virtues. Dating is an activity where life exposes the other's vices.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Don't get mad about the infestation of fleas if you keep shopping at the dog pound.
— Valerie J. Lewis Coleman
Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire.
— Danielle Sibarium
Fine! He is being passive aggressive with me, and it's gonna backfire; I'm gonna be active friendly.
— Natalya Vorobyova
Daddy is jive talkingand showering the stripper
Mommy is sleepwalking
while changing baby's diaper — Casey Renee Kiser
I didn't dream about you last night. I woke up in fear.
— Michael Summers
Honestly, you needn't think it's easy to be the "badly brought up" central figure of a hypocritical family in hiding.
— Anne Frank
For her, marriage was a sweetened version of murder.
— Daniel Saldana Paris
People being tough with you doesn't mean they're villains.
— Anna Kendrick
Just because you're in the market for a minivan doesn't mean you can't test drive a hotrod.
— Inez Kelley
In the end, we all die for what we believe in... mostly because we all die.
— Nazareth Bergeron
I can't relate to your razzle-dazzle, your wish for voluptuous when my symphony is spanx. — Kelli Russell Agodon
