Humor Relationships Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Humor Relationships

Humor Relationships Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor Relationships quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

If a boy doesn't respect his mother...run! — Tracy Yates

My old man taught me to never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die. — Tommy Tran

If you're right & I'm not, I'm going to be hell to live with, she said. So, you better think about that next time you want to be right. — Brian Andreas

For someone who is supposed to be a knight in shining armor, you're acting like an ass in aluminum foil. — Lisa Logue

Life - with or without softener- is hard — Kate Papas

The question isn't who will be with me in life, rather how will I create the ending I am proud of? — Shannon L. Alder

She wants to paint the living room yellow. I have not the words. — Mil Millington

Love is a damage
made to the heart,
violence,
fate thats written,
Changeable by distance,
Breakable by time ... ! — Honey Father

Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. — Carroll Bryant

Nobody understood why opposites attracted, and anybody who said they did was probably selling a book. — Lynn Blackmar

Sometimes we can focus so much on nothing that we make it a big something of nothing — Ricky Maye

I see uncool people! — Tonya Hurley

I help others because I can, not because I expect something in return. — Amy Manemann

You know what really fries my Puerto rican pancakes? — Mark Gungor

This isn't so much romance as it is opportunity [victor mancini] — Chuck Palahniuk

When your diary is full and your life is empty, get a date — Benny Bellamacina

Sometimes I dig holes for people to fall in. Then I shout, "I've got you! — Amanda Mosher

Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with. — Candace Bushnell

He's more how Satan would look if he needed to seduce you into drowning a baby. — Eve Dangerfield

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys
either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right. — Eugene Mirman

There's pretty much no way for me to answer that without sounding like an asshole, so maybe you could do me a solid and not make me. — Alex Potvin

Why do relationships have to be so complicated? — Erin Hunter

In every relationship one must sacrifice to show thy love. Are you willing to make sacrifices for someone you love? — Jonathan Anthony Burkett

Don't pursue anything that doesn't fill your soul with joy because you can always go to Disneyland. — Shannon L. Alder

The only difference between kids and jungle animals is pants. Kids wear them. Jungle animals don't. — Denis Leary

If you can't be yours while being mine, maybe you aren't as yours as you'd like to convince yourself that you are. — Aleksandra Ninkovic

I don't want a new man."
"I'll be dead someday," my mother said. "And then what? You'll wish you had someone."
"I have a hamster. — Janet Evanovich

Is that a banana in your lunch box, or are you just pleased to see me? — H.M. Forester

Men are men, mortal or not. — K.C. Randall

We made love like green is blue. That's because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I need a hug from you to make me feel better about the fact I need a hug from you. — Stephanie Rowe

I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Don't be fooled, Clara. No one's new and shiny. Not really. — Lisa Smartt

You should go into every relationship as a brick and not a blanket. — Nicole McKay

Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Sometimes, something meaningless occurs, somewhere with meaning. — F. Thomas Vincent

I'm trusting you not to break my heart. If it gets even a scratch, I'll break your face. -Shaye — Gena Showalter

Next thing I know you've run off to Paris and thrown yourself under the nearest Frenchman- — Nicholls David

Human relationships are not rocket science
the are far, far more complicated — James W. Pennebaker

We're only five years apart," I said defiantly. "If you look at some of those dysfunctional vampyre relationships, we're near normal. — Heather Heffner

If you're going to be a dickhead, at least have the courtesy of doing it while I have a drink in my hand so I can throw it in your face! — Nicki Elson

If all I have to do is remain awake to be considered romantic, than I can promise you a great deal of romance in our marriage. — Sherry Thomas

You want him praising the Lord in the morning, you put a smile on his face tonight. — Mark Gungor

You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape. — J. Richard Singleton

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I had a dream about you last night ... Well I say dream I mean nightmare ... you were a Yankee fan. — Nicole McKay

Poverty does not always prevent a rich person from dating someone who is poor, unless the man is the one who is poor. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Crying all the time had made her more beautiful. Grief will do that sometimes. Not for me. Loretta had left months ago and I still looked like hell. — Junot Diaz

Had she punished him enough? How could she be sure? — Anne Taintor

My acupuncturist once told me that it doesn't have to hurt to work. She might have meant the needles, but I think she really meant love. — Erica Goros

Statistically speaking, there is a 65 percent chance that the love of your life is having an affair. Be very suspicious. — Scott Dikkers

I have something very important to say to you, but I can't tell you what it is. It's a very important thing, but I'll tell you another time. — Rhona Cameron

A lot about Congress is about forming good working relationships with people, and humor can really help you do that. — Linda Sanchez

Ain't No Drama Like Bedroom Drama — Renata D. Johnson

Stop looking for your better half! You need to be whole to attract your better whole, if you expect to have a flourishing relationship. — Valerie J. Lewis Coleman

Why you wanna treat Mama like she ain't got sense? — Hunter Murphy

Okay, then, what was he like? Just give me something to go on so that I have a shot at him!'
'A shot at him? Are you on an elk hunt? — Sara Zarr

Our love was a two-person game. At least until one of us died, and the other became a murderer. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

Basically, all women are nurturers and healers, and all men are mental patients to varying degrees. — Nelson DeMille

Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. - Durzo Blint — Brent Weeks

He's a mass of contradictions. Unfortunately, that only seems to enhance his appeal. I'm one sick bitch, that's for sure. — Siobhan Davis

It felt like I had a thousand packs of Strawberry Pop Rocks simultaneously detonating in my chest, and I dilated at least eight centimeters! — Piper Faust

All human males were as fascinated with cars as they were with breasts. — Anita Clenney

The very best people are like that. They don't entangle you like flypaper. — Alan Bradley

You've got an awfully kissable mouth. — F Scott Fitzgerald

I think we should wean Grandma. — Renata Suerth

Trying to figure out a person that you don't know is like foreplay
with no consummation. — Jacqueline Simon Gunn

I don't see how being married could be any worse than listening to you talk for twenty years, but that still ain't much of a recommendation for it. — Larry McMurtry

How could I be sleeping with this particular man ... Surely only true love could justify my lack of taste. — Margaret Atwood

He is a unicorn. I want to gently capture him and bring him back to my lab for research. — Amanda Mosher

He comes.
And he comes
loaded
with noise pollution.
If I ever prayed for anything,
it was for a man
to shut up. — Casey Renee Kiser

Wouldn't it be great if life was only Legos? If we could give our kids the right, simple building blocks? — Chris Bent

My stomach flipped. I stopped. This guy was trending in my mind big time. — Luella Christie

Just two naked guys enjoying a manly hug in the middle of the apocalypse. - Cody Forester, Werewolf Apocalypse — Roxanne Smolen

Trust is not hoping your partner will love you; it is KNOWING that they DO. — Julieanne O'Connor

I had a dream about you last night ... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs. — Amy Summers

She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

How is it a vegan won't visit the zoo or rodeo, but you'll level a man with martial arts? — DiAnn Mills

A woman could love a jackass. She could not love a son of a bitch. Many have tried, Gideon. Many have tried. — Deanna Raybourn

If you're trapped in the dream of the Other, you're fucked. — Gilles Deleuze

Revolting' was the last word I ever spoke as someone who'd never kissed a girl. — David Mitchell

The color of her eyes was mossy gold. It make me want to write crap poetry and hire a skywriter. Quinn Sullivan — Penny Reid

Chemistry is great, but eventually your relationship moves out of the laboratory. — Tim Fargo

well I believe in commitment it's just I, you know, I don't stick to it. — Jim Lewis

Courting is an activity where a man and a woman flaunt their virtues. Dating is an activity where life exposes the other's vices. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Don't get mad about the infestation of fleas if you keep shopping at the dog pound. — Valerie J. Lewis Coleman

The Jenna Situation, as you recalled it now, had been fraught with fraughtiness. — John Scalzi

I had a dream about you last night ... shortly after I woke up screaming in terror. — Amy Summers

Safety tip. When you see smoke run, never wait for fire. — Danielle Sibarium

Fine! He is being passive aggressive with me, and it's gonna backfire; I'm gonna be active friendly. — Natalya Vorobyova

Daddy is jive talking
and showering the stripper
Mommy is sleepwalking
while changing baby's diaper — Casey Renee Kiser

I didn't dream about you last night. I woke up in fear. — Michael Summers

Honestly, you needn't think it's easy to be the "badly brought up" central figure of a hypocritical family in hiding. — Anne Frank

For her, marriage was a sweetened version of murder. — Daniel Saldana Paris

People being tough with you doesn't mean they're villains. — Anna Kendrick

Just because you're in the market for a minivan doesn't mean you can't test drive a hotrod. — Inez Kelley

In the end, we all die for what we believe in... mostly because we all die. — Nazareth Bergeron

I can't relate to your razzle-dazzle, your wish
for voluptuous when my symphony is spanx. — Kelli Russell Agodon

We laughed together. It's so lovely laughing with a man. It feels positive. Relaxed ... — James Lusarde

Weddings, I began to understand, were vile, filthy things when they ran amuck. — Laurie Notaro