Humor Quotations Quotes
Collection of top 42 famous quotes about Humor Quotations
Humor Quotations Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor Quotations quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Weakness is weaker when discovered by others.
— Mita Jain
Nothing spices up one's sex life like having a partner.
— Jacob M. Appel
Ryan, when did you get a girlfriend?" his sister asked.
"She's not my girlfriend, Kaylen," Ryan replied. "Go away. — S. Walden
"She's not my girlfriend, Kaylen," Ryan replied. "Go away. — S. Walden
Did you ever notice how the words Attention and Alienation look the same when you are staring at them from a distance?
— Alisia Compton
Why fall? Let's rise in love together; and while we're at it, let's come up with lamer quotations.
— Ahmed Mostafa
If you cannot get your act together then at least try to make it entertaining." Becky Johnson
— Becky Johnson
Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.
— Matshona Dhliwayo
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
— Ambrose Bierce
Deep down, he's shallow.
— Peter De Vries
Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought.
— Carroll Bryant
Every year for decades there had been great excitement over the Largest Vegetable competition ("That would be my husband", was the standard comment).
— G.M. Malliet
If you have pain in your ass, it doesn't mean you have done something wrong, but it's probably because you're wearing your little brother's underwear.
— Waheed Ibne Musa
What do you want?"
"Spain"
"Fuck! — Christopher Moore
"Spain"
"Fuck! — Christopher Moore
Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death.
— Terry Pratchett
If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together.
— Michael P. Clutton
Pardon me Mam,I'm new in town, could you please show me the way to your house?
— Frank Calvin Mann
Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.
— Peter De Vries
If you can't make ends meet, meet them in the middle instead
— Benny Bellamacina
Actually, watching television and surfing the Internet are really excellent practice for being dead.
— Chuck Palahniuk
Enjoy every ounce of your life, get high and be sincere to anybody that comes around you.
— Salman Aditya
Generally speaking, I try not to generalize.
— Addison C. Arthur
Wow," says Peter, "when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems.
— Adam Selzer
Pop music is like an auditory cup of coffee. It has no nutritional value but it gets you going.
— Jim Moorman
Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster,
— Steven Pinker
A comedian is better than a politician; at least there is no doubt.
— Bangambiki Habyarimana
I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA.
— Carroll Bryant
I can't seem to recall if I've ever had amnesia before.
— Stewart Lee Beck
As a reformed procrastinator, I'm now getting things done in the first 10 seconds of the last minute.
— Stewart Lee Beck
Is it a lucky break if you get run over by an ambulance?
— Stewart Lee Beck
Quotations "Oh man, I hate that poofing shit. You scared me so bad, Ash, you made me eat this crappy cheese." (Nick in Night Embrace).
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
Sweetie, you don't need to drive me to the brink of insanity ... I'm close enough to walk!
— Tanya Masse
In my book an erection constitutes personal growth.
— Amunhotep El Bey
If all else fails, stop drop and roll..works for me..
— Melissa Mercer
A man can smile and smile yet still be a villain,' I quoted. (Or misquoted. It was probably Shakespeare, most quotations seem to be.)
— Trisha Ashley
Joker: I don't mind you saying that, Johnny. Sometimes, I need to hear the obvious... now is not one of those times, though.
— Brian Azzarello
Never make an important decision with your pants down.
— Katie Thayne
Have you hugged your favorite Dork lately? Most of us are squeezably soft and adorable.
— Michael P. Clutton
I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of ... here.
— C. JoyBell C.
We are not in a foul humor, Belkin. We are in a corrupt-tempered moon. There is a difference, you know.
— Rachel Heffington