Humor At Work Quotes
Collection of top 74 famous quotes about Humor At Work
Humor At Work Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor At Work quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.
— Mitch Hedberg
I hope you feel better today. Please ring me at work if you are dead.
— Jaclyn Moriarty
Your best work involves timing. If someone wrote the best hip hop song of all time in the Middle Ages, he had bad timing.
— Scott Adams
The sun doesn't live in England; it comes here on holiday when we're all at work.
— Benny Bellamacina
You think you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it's only some bugger with a torch bringing you more work.
— David Brent
Llarimar had told him to do his best. That sounded like an awful lot of work. Unfortunately, doing nothing was beginning to seem like even MORE work.
— Brandon Sanderson
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.
— Neil Gaiman
A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.
— Robert Benchley
It was like he was in a contest to see who could do the least work, only he was the only contestant.
— Catherine Gilbert Murdock
It is better to work in a prison than to live in one.
— Brenda Winters
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning ... That can keep me awake for days..
— Billy Connolly
I'm married, honey. My social life consists of work, church, taxiing the kids around and trying to schedule sex with my husband at least once a month.
— Marilyn Pappano
I think we got some work done, back at the start, because nobody knew us, nobody bothered us - and we had no money.
— Robert M. Edsel
Can't you home school me?" Nate pleaded."You would never do any work." (Nate's mom)
"Sounds perfect! — Brandon Mull
Why is it that a man always stops to admire another man's work at the worst possible time?
— James Flerlage
I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.
— Carlos Ruiz Zafon
I still wouldn't be able to control myself around him, and I'm math geek enough to know that equation doesn't work out.
— Robin Brande
Last hopeless chances have got to work. Nothing makes sense otherwise. You might as well not be alive.
— Terry Pratchett
This is our life now: slaving away in thankless, monotonous jobs and spending half our salaries on fattening food.
— Katrina Ramos Atienza
Uh, yeah - how about a warm hell no to that request? Does that work for you? Because it works for me.
— Tahereh Mafi
Demon - with the highest respect for you - behold your work!
— Charles Dickens
Just 'Your mother.'" But it doesn't work if girls say it to each other," she continues. "You have to have a penis for it to affect you in such a way.
— Melina Marchetta
Sometimes, there is no harm in putting off a piece of work until another day.
— Antoine De Saint-Exupery
If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck.
— Craig Ferguson
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
— Jerome K. Jerome
Transparency, honesty, kindness, good stewardship, even humor, work in businesses at all times.
— John Gerzema
I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.
— Wallace Wang
Wizard's work was a pleasure and a madness. No wonder the university magicians rambled at times like daft bastards.
— Lita Burke
I think it needs work. Like all your other songs.""Yeah, well, your face will need some work after I give you a good beatin'. — Kami Garcia
I'm sorry that your mystical, godlike powers do not instantly work as you would like them to.
— Brandon Sanderson
Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.
— Nicole McKay
Work with Evangeline Black? I'd rather be slit open from navel to nose." -CORBIN BLUE"Good thing I always carry a knife." -EVIE BLACK — Gena Showalter
It's funny how things work out sometimes.
— Anthony Horowitz
Lots of people in history have only done their jobs and look at the trouble they caused
— Terry Pratchett
If we want less and less, we may in fact receive more and more of what we need. It may work like that.
— Art Hochberg
Every Friday is black where I work.
— The Covert Comic
If I have a spreadsheet that can, whatever, turn soup cans into gold, wouldn't I deserve an office?
— Charlie Close
I wish there were more humor in my work than I see in it.
— Jasper Johns
Have you tried talking to her?" "No. We've been punching her in the face repeatedly. What? You don't think that will work? — Cassandra Clare
In rough times, pathfinders rely on work, friends, humor and prayer. They develop a support network.
— Gail Sheehy
I know lots of things you don't""Name five."
"The Grand Unification Theory, tax law, binary, the capital of Azerbailan, and how tractors work. — Daniel Nayeri
A work of art is an act of love. Critics are crab lice.
— David Gerrold
To work hard, to live hard, to die hard, and then go to hell after all would be too damn hard.
— Carl Sandburg
Never trust your colleagues. Work politics are founded by them.
— Adhish Mazumder
I still doubt it will work.""You'd doubt the sun's rising if you weren't proven wrong each day," Raoden
said with a smile. — Brandon Sanderson
I think my work here is done. Breakfast and multiple orgasms...You won't get that at your favorite diner.
— Toni Aleo
I was thinking that work is like fertilizer in that I'm glad it exists; I just don't ever want to get stuck in it.
— Brandon Sanderson
The time for useful work flies fast. Why talk of being in the humor? Who hesitates will never be.
— Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
I am Valentino Rossi. If I stay in MotoGP it is to try to win. When that is not possible it is time to stay at home and work in the garden!
— Valentino Rossi
Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.
— Thomas Bernhard
I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
— Mel Brooks
Are you fighting evil tonight? ... Then you are doing the Lord's work. Shut the fuck up.
— James R Tuck
Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.
— Terry Pratchett
I don't have any babies or ambition. I have it all!
— Nan Little