Hiaasen Quotes: top 76 famous quotes about Hiaasen

Hiaasen Quotes & Sayings

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My father used to say that you live most of your life inside your own head, so make sure it's a good space. — Carl Hiaasen

I've always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something. — Carl Hiaasen

There is no writer's block in a newsroom. There's only unemployment block. — Carl Hiaasen

Humor can be an incredible, lacerating and effective weapon. — Carl Hiaasen

Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head. — Carl Hiaasen

If God was my co-pilot, Yancy once groused to Burton, I'd have the fucking pedal to the metal soon as I left the garage. — Carl Hiaasen

The classroom fell quiet, a long heavy silence that roared in Roy's ears like a train. — Carl Hiaasen

I won't be making any friends in the corporate suites. — Carl Hiaasen

The one word that no politician will ever speak, is 'enough.' Enough. — Carl Hiaasen

Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle. — Carl Hiaasen

A fallow mind is a field of discontent. — John H. Cunningham

I think it's always good for the author to stay a good cattle prod's distance from the actual moviemaking. — Carl Hiaasen

Whatever happens, I'm glad we ate that bleeping lizard. — Carl Hiaasen

Unfortunately for novelists, real life is getting way too funny and far-fetched. — Carl Hiaasen

When I'm working on a novel of my own, I try to read mostly nonfiction, although sometimes I break down and peek at something else. — Carl Hiaasen

My escape is to just get in a boat and disappear on the water. — Carl Hiaasen

Nope. He lives over in Boca Raton." "Oh fuck, Red." "I know, it's hor'ble. That's how come the five hundred a day. — Carl Hiaasen

That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death. — Carl Hiaasen

My driving record is not exemplary, but I have never had a speeding ticket over 100 m.p.h. I can say that unequivocally. — Carl Hiaasen

The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind. — Carl Hiaasen

I don't care if you pack it in fucking kryptonite, that lottery ticket ain't going up your ass. — Carl Hiaasen

The boy manifested the sort of submissive dimness that foretold a long sad future in minimum-security institutions — Carl Hiaasen

A well-regulated militia," Bode added, "like they talk about in the Second Amendment." "Oh," said Shiner. He hadn't read the first one yet. — Carl Hiaasen

He paused and manufactured a chuckle. — Carl Hiaasen

In his own mind, it was never a matter of courage. But courage it was. — Carl Hiaasen

to a perfectly terrible day. — Carl Hiaasen

From the pancake house I drive directly to the county morgue. The contrast is not especially striking. — Carl Hiaasen

His mother wanted him closer to home. The funeral had been — Carl Hiaasen

Sunset on the water ought to be a quiet and easy time, but I guess some people can't stand a little silence. — Carl Hiaasen

stick together like shit on a shoe. — Carl Hiaasen

Dessert was an over baked chocolate chip cookies the size of a hockey puck and just about as tasty. — Carl Hiaasen

Informed opponents of Obama's healthcare initiative have expressed dismay at the low level of discourse. — Carl Hiaasen

Coroners made Al Garcia jumpy; they always got so cheery when somebody came up with a fresh way to die. — Carl Hiaasen

My books are character-driven. They're not driven by the story. — Carl Hiaasen

Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck. — Carl Hiaasen

A quick puke, two rails of blow and she was solid. — Carl Hiaasen

Wahoo's father had absolutely no use for creeps who beat on small animals, especially kids. — Carl Hiaasen

You from the IRS? The man's voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain. — Carl Hiaasen

And the Chamber of Commerce was handing out cyanide capsules. — Carl Hiaasen

Malley told the shrink that she'd run away because Justin — Carl Hiaasen

If anything is more irresistible than Jesus, it's Mickey. — Carl Hiaasen

I'd always wanted to write books ever since I was a kid. — Carl Hiaasen

Boyd Shreave tore the page from Eugenie Fonda's memoir and, with a contemptuous flourish, wiped his ass with it. — Carl Hiaasen

They have a crystalline sense of right and wrong; it disappears when they walk out the door with their M.B.A. — Carl Hiaasen

We've always been fascinated with movie stars and singers, but the fascination with people who really have nothing to offer is something new. — Carl Hiaasen

She said there was no tactful way for a naked person to cope with a runny nose, especially while dancing. Orly grudgingly agreed. — Carl Hiaasen

I'm waiting for the day when Rush Limbaugh's pharmacist writes a book. — Carl Hiaasen

The victim's hand was contracted into a fist except for the middle digit, which was rigidly extended. — Carl Hiaasen

Losing his hair. Ms. Chase and me, — Carl Hiaasen

From the bow of the canoe she asked, "Do you know a rain dance?"
"First I need a virgin. — Carl Hiaasen

The greatest sin for a writer is to be boring. — Carl Hiaasen

Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda. — Carl Hiaasen

Everybody's idea of a great book is different, of course. For me it's one that makes my jaw drop on every page, the writing is so original. — Carl Hiaasen

sucking on a football. — Carl Hiaasen

Cell phone the night he died. She'd obtained this key information — Carl Hiaasen

The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't. — Carl Hiaasen

My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a soapbox. — Carl Hiaasen

It's easy to get distracted by the vaudevillian aspects of the healthcare debate. — Carl Hiaasen

Hey. Sometimes to conclusions. — Carl Hiaasen

Shreave flicked away the dead mosquito. "Don't these things carry the bird flu too?"
"No Boyd, that would be a bird. — Carl Hiaasen

Disney world is an armpit,compared to Montana!! — Carl Hiaasen

He wondered if something was mentally wrong with him for being content with what he had — Carl Hiaasen

and in the meantime don't jump to conclusions. — Carl Hiaasen

Just because something was legal didn't automatically make it right. — Carl Hiaasen

I don't have an e-reader. One reason is that I like to dog-ear the page when I find a particularly good sentence or passage. — Carl Hiaasen

Unfortunately, I don't get to read nearly as much as I want because I'm always working on my own stuff, either the novels or newspaper columns. — Carl Hiaasen

Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm. — Carl Hiaasen

Nobody said he was Alvin Einstein. — Carl Hiaasen

Whether he's still a threat to innocent doors remains to be seen. By — Carl Hiaasen

I married an asshole, she thought, knifing into the waves. — Carl Hiaasen

As far as I'm concerned, the gator that ate T.C. deserves a medal from Crime Stoppers. — Carl Hiaasen

The dog proved to be as dumb and stubborn as a mud fence, so Stranahan had named him Strom. — Carl Hiaasen

If Carl Hiaasen and Donald Westlake had a literary love child, he would be Timothy Hallinan. — Julia Spencer-Fleming

One problem with age is that patience begins to ebb. — Carl Hiaasen

I've never progressed very far from my days as a smart aleck in middle school. — Carl Hiaasen

You can make a day of any size. — Mario Iezzoni