Groucho's Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Groucho's
Groucho's Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Groucho's quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Before I speak, I have something important to say.
— Groucho Marx
Hello, I must be going, I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going. I'm glad I came, but just the same, I must be going.
— Groucho Marx
Comedians are a much rarer and far more valuable commodity than all the gold and precious stones in the world.
— Groucho Marx
But what makes wage slaves? Wages!
— Groucho Marx
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days.
— Groucho Marx
If you take cranberries and stew them like apple sauce, it tastes much more like prunes than rhubarb does.
— Groucho Marx
My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.
— Groucho Marx
I have nothing but respect for you and not much of that. — Groucho Marx
When discovered by his wife, kissing the maid, Groucho said, "I was just whispering in her mouth"
— Groucho Marx
Goodreads is where introverts unite.
— Groucho Marx
We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
— Groucho Marx
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.
— Groucho Marx
If I hold you any closer I'll be in back of you!
— Groucho Marx
Today's Father Day and we're giving you a tie, it's not much you know, it's just our way of showing you, you're a regular guy.
— Groucho Marx
I hate London when it's not raining.
— Groucho Marx
With the possible exception of clothes, beauty salons and Frank Sinatra, there are few subjects all women agree upon.
— Groucho Marx
Africa is God's country, and He can have it.
— Groucho Marx
Do you mind if I don't smoke?
— Groucho Marx
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
— Groucho Marx
That's bad luck: three on a midget.
— Groucho Marx
There's only two things you can start without a plan: a riot and a family, for everything else you need a plan.
— Groucho Marx
If he's been married for 31 years, he's not the same man.
— Groucho Marx
Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.
— Groucho Marx
My brother thinks he's a chicken-We don't talk him out of it because we need the eggs
— Groucho Marx
I shall drink no # wine before it's time! OK, it's time.
— Groucho Marx
![Groucho's Quotes By Groucho Marx: He [Harpo] loved life and lived it joyously](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/grouchos-quotes-by-groucho-marx-679898.jpg "Groucho's Quotes By Groucho Marx: He [Harpo] loved life and lived it joyously")
He [Harpo] loved life and lived it joyously and deeply and that's about as good an epitaph as anyone can have.
— Groucho Marx
Most young women do not welcome promiscuous advances. (Either that, or my luck's terrible.)
— Groucho Marx
Blood's not thicker than money.
— Groucho Marx
She's so in love with me, she doesn't know anything. That's why she's in love with me.
— Groucho Marx
The admission fee was a viper's tongue and a half-concealed stiletto. It was a sort of intellectual slaughterhouse.
— Groucho Marx
Celebrate the cracks, because that's how the light comes in.
— Groucho Marx
There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says "yes" you know he is a crook.
— Groucho Marx
I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing
— Groucho Marx
Jail is no place for a young fellow. There's no advancement
— Groucho Marx
I know a member of one of New York's first families (first as you drive up Tenth Avenue)
— Groucho Marx
One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
— Groucho Marx
Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.
— Groucho Marx
Patience is the art of finding something else to do.
— Groucho Marx
A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
— Groucho Marx
Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?
— Groucho Marx
Oh, are you from Wales? Do you know a fella named Jonah-He used to live in whales for a while
— Groucho Marx
That's bad luck: three on a midget. From At The Circus
— Groucho Marx
Money cannot buy you happiness, and happiness cannot buy you money. That might be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
— Groucho Marx
Groucho Marx This is not a book that should be set aside lightly - it should be flung with great force.
— Groucho Marx
What have future generations ever done for us?
— Groucho Marx
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
— Groucho Marx
I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
— Groucho Marx
Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
— Groucho Marx
Budget: a way of going broke methodically
— Groucho Marx
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
— Groucho Marx
I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me
— Groucho Marx
No man goes before his time - unless the boss leaves early.
— Groucho Marx
Here's to our wives and girlfriends ... may they never meet!
— Groucho Marx
Don't be silly. I'll write you twice a week.
— Groucho Marx
I was born at a very early age. Before I had time to regret it, I was four and a half years old.
— Groucho Marx
Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
— Groucho Marx
Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!
— Groucho Marx
Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?"Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight. — Groucho Marx
Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.
— Groucho Marx
Would you mind getting off that fly paper and giving the flies a chance?""Ahhh, you can't trick me! Flies don't read papers! — Groucho Marx
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
— Groucho Marx
![Groucho's Quotes By Groucho Marx: [Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/grouchos-quotes-by-groucho-marx-353774.jpg "Groucho's Quotes By Groucho Marx: [Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart.")
