George Burns Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about George Burns

George Burns Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational George Burns quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I find you have to take each day as it comes and be thankful for who's left and whatever you can still do. — George Burns

I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money. — George Burns

Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman. — George Burns

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect. — George Burns

My best advice: Fall in love with what you do for a living. — George Burns

I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. — George Burns

This is the sixth book I've written, which isn't bad for a guy who's only read two. — George Burns

There has been foolish talk about audiences having an average twelve-year-old mind: it just isn't true. They are older than anybody, and wiser. — George Burns

I must be getting absent-minded. Whenever I complain that things aren't what they used to be, I always forget to include myself. — George Burns

I worried about playing God (in the movie Oh God). We're about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods. — George Burns

There are two kinds of cruises - pleasure and with children. — George Burns

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. — George Burns

In show business the key word is honesty. Once you've learned to fake that, the rest is easy. — George Burns

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. — George Burns

Much later in life, though, Gracie made a major contribution to the opera world. She stayed out of it. — George Burns

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. — George Burns

I'd rather be a failure in something that I love than a success in something that I hate. — George Burns

It burns, it does. Nothing burns like the cold. — George R R Martin

Nothing burns like the cold. — George R R Martin

Joy is obtaining a big, loving, caring shut-knit household in yet another town. — George Burns

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. — George Burns

There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men. — George Burns

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. — George Burns

George Burns ... the only man I know who does fool Mother Nature. — Ronald Reagan

Sex is the Universal Language in which nobody speaks; they don't have to. — George Burns

From Paris we took the Orient Express to Vienna. I must say I was terribly disappointed; nobody was murdered on the train. — George Burns

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. — George Burns

Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there. — George Burns

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. — George Burns

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too. — George Burns

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. — George Burns

Bridge is a game that separates the men from the boys. It also separates husbands and wives. — George Burns

Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it ... like lunch or dinner. — George Burns

In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. — George Burns

Young. Old. Just Words. — George Burns

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. — George Burns

I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody. — George Burns

George Burns was the father I never had. — Bobby Darin

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. — George Burns

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer. — George Burns

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something. — George Burns

A sword of fire! It burns! It burns! A sword of fire! — George R R Martin

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. — George Burns

I smoke cigars because at my age if I don't have something to hang on to I might fall down. — George Burns

When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights. — George Burns

I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini. — George Burns

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up. — George Burns

When we played the back end of a horse we always knew that if we worked hard and did a good job we could become the front end. — George Burns

I drink coffee with my right hand, and I smoke with my left. But I talk with both hands. — George Burns

Take care not to wear stripes that are out of sync with your wrinkles. — George Burns

Be quick to learn and wise to know. — George Burns

Too much light can hurt the eyes, my friend, and fire burns. — George R R Martin

Being an actor is easy, just picture someone in a room and you outside waiting for your cue to go in. Elliot Gould's been trying that for forty years. — George Burns

George Burns was a Vaudeville performer I particularly loved. — Tom Waits

Old age is when you resent the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated because there are fewer articles to read. — George Burns

My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens. — Joseph Bologna

There's nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed. — George Burns

How did I ever get sick? I've already had everything. — George Burns

What actresses do today when they appear on the screen is what they did once upon a time for getting to appear on the screen. — George Burns

I would read Playboy more often, but my glasses keep steaming up. — George Burns

It's one of the old show business axioms. No matter how successful you've been, there's always a younger and sexier seal coming along. — George Burns

This is all so exciting I've decided to keep making one movie every 36 years. — George Burns

If you were married to Marilyn Monroe, you'd cheat with some ugly girl. — George Burns

When I die I intend to take my music with me. I don't know what's out there, but I want to make sure it's in my key. — George Burns

I know George Burns was a very happy man. — Marlo Thomas

When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.' — George Burns

As long as you're working, you stay young. — George Burns

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. — George Burns

Young. Old. Just words. Inside we feel like our shoe size. — George Burns

The fire that burns against the cold. — George R R Martin

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left — George Burns

So George Burns and my grandpa took me to my first baseball game. — Leigh Steinberg

If I paid ten dollars for a cigar, first I'd make love to it, then I'd smoke it. — George Burns

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. — George Burns

If you stay in the business long enough and get to be old enough, you get to be new again. — George Burns

If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it. — George Burns

George Burns, what a man. He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India. So he sent his kids there. — Red Buttons

Sex can be fun after eighty, after ninety, and after lunch! — George Burns

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. — George Burns

Yale men do not like to be told anything by people who didn't go to Yale. The closest I came to Yale was once I had one of their padlocks. — George Burns

None of us kids had a middle name. We were lucky we had any name at all. By the time my mother got around to naming one, there was another on the way. — George Burns

I'd rather be a flop at show business than to be a success at something I didn't like. — George Burns

When you talk about George Burns you're talking about a living legend ... well, a legend, anyhow. — Don Rickles

Everyday happiness means you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot. — George Burns

I should have been a country-western singer. After all, I'm older than most western countries. — George Burns

You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. — George Burns

I'd rather be over the hill than under it. — George Burns

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit. — George Burns

It's good to be here. At 98, it's good to be anywhere. — George Burns

If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. — George Burns

How can I die? I'm booked. — George Burns

With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink. — George Burns

There's a fire that burns away the lies, manifesting in the spiritual eye. — George Harrison

The heart is a temple wherein all truth resides. — George Burns

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem. — George Burns

There are many ways to die in bed, but the best way is not alone. — George Burns

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. — George Burns

I get a standing ovation just standing — George Burns

Say Goodnight Gracie. — George Burns

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. — George Burns