Gay Humor Quotes: top 60 famous quotes about Gay Humor

Gay Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Gay Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish? — Paul Lynde

No good deed goes unpunished - Oscar Wilde — Allen Mack

This bulletin brought to you from the Department of Duh. — K.A. Mitchell

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn't enough. — Rodney Dangerfield

Did my fingering turn you gay? I hope not. — Michael Ian Black

So did I enjoy working with my fair share of gay people? You bet — J.D. Holmes

I felt very close to God ... My friends say that's because I was always on my knees. — Armistead Maupin

Why are you asking me? I'm seventeen and don't know anything about what to do when you're autistic and gay. — Claire LaZebnik

I'm not sexist, I'd f**k both sexes equally if I was gay - John Blu — David Gallie

I really don't have a problem with gay marriage ... because I'm tolerant and rational. — David Cross

You're the only kick-ass general I know who needs three gay boys to dress him, John."
"But I only need one gay boy to undress me. — Sarah Black

You've been all black and white, like Kansas. It's time to get back to Oz. Enjoy the colors. — Kaje Harper

I'm sitting in the bus station, minding my own business, reading 'Ta-Da!' magazine; a magazine by and for gay magicians, but that's a different story. — Dave Attell

What's your name, Farm Boy?"
"Charlie Heggensford, ma'am." He stuck out his hand and she smiled as she shook it. — Hank Edwards

She suspects her husband, Jake, might be gay."
"Did you suggest she ask him?"
Mom laughed. "Of course not. Business is slow. — Lisa Lutz

I generally assumed a guy was gay until proven straight, taken until proven single, and not interested until he'd put his tongue in my mouth. — Mara Wilson

I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face. — Bo Burnham

I closed my eyes and resigned myself to the fact that my boyfriend was a pervert. He was lucky he was so cute. — J.M. Colail

He was all over me like brown rice! — L'Poni Baldwin

You could wear the same outfit every single day and no guy - who isn't gay - will notice. — Maureen Johnson

You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar. — Zach Galifianakis

Let me say, on behalf of the entire gay male community, we hate your fucking guts 'cause you landed him. Share, you selfish bastard. — Andrea Speed

He's a he. I mean he's a guy. He's your mate. Oh my God you're gay!" Aleks exclaimed. Liam slapped himself on the forehead. — Alanea Alder

Nonsense! I have merely come to terms with the fact that I am perfect, and I have decided life must go on, and I must learn to live with myself ... — C.N. Faust

Gay people should be allowed to get married. Just because somebody's gay doesn't mean he shouldn't suffer like the rest of us — Jeff Shaw

Baby, you're so much of a woman, you turn me off when I hold you. — Rhys Ford

Tiger resists. "WAIT. We're ALL friends HERE. What is it you wanna talk about? SEX? The new DILDO my mom bought me? Or the HAIR on my sister's ASS- — Giorge Leedy

Our witness, one Edward Littleton, was as gay as Elton John's handbag. — Ann Somerville

I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes. — Bo Burnham

Who has a house for ten years and doesn't own a drill? - Kerry

A gay man who has the phone number of a really hot carpenter. - Malcolm — Jaime Samms

You take a dick and you get it wet and then you put it someplace tight - — K.A. Mitchell

Gay angels are all the rage in heaven. — Eric Arvin

Hi honey, I'm home! Take your pants off! Wesley announced. He kissed my cheek as he passed me and put his lunch container in the sink. — J.M. Colail

My Own Epitaph
Life's a jest, and all things show it.
I thought so once, and now I know it. — John Gay

I picked up my flute and smiled, eyebrows dancing. "Why don't you show her your straight dance?"
"Is there a gay dance, too?" Mickey asked. — Rose Christo

Aaron was so gay he walked with a lisp... — Edward D. Padilla

What goes in your butthole is your business, all we care about is making sure Chipotle is what comes out of it. - Rodrigo Chipotle — Kindle Alexander

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder. — Noel Fielding

Maybe you can explain to me what is so spectacular about her, because you gay girls can't seem to keep your hands off that daffy redhead. — Cassandra Duffy

Not all gays respond to the same stuff. Would Alexander the Great have loved Auntie Mame? — Bruce Bawer

I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection. — Jon Stewart

Peter to Austin:
Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7. — Dani Alexander

My cousin is gay, I always tell him that in our family tree, he's in the fruit section. — Rodney Dangerfield

The only way woman can truly be completely satisfied is to get herself four different men
an old one, an ugly one, a Mandingo, and a gay guy. — Steve Harvey

Just don't stare at my ass, Landemere," he added.
"I wasn't staring at your ass," Arranulf, who had been staring at his ass, said. — Andrew Ashling

Just because I like to suck cock doesn't make me any less American than Jesse Helms. — Allen Ginsberg

Besides it's better to have Miyoshi around. You and me have a been together since Jr. High. Without her around people might think we're gay. — Tsugumi Ohba

I'll take Classic 69 and semen-swapping for $300 — Damon Suede

I poured some coffee into a mug that read: "I'm not gay, but my ex-boyfriend is," compliments of Peyton — Sandi Lynn

I'm a registered Republican, I only seem liberal because I believe that hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure and not gay marriage. — Aaron Sorkin

My birthday? Is he gay?" Eli asked me with a confused look on his face. — Mariana Zapata

Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy. — Rachel Caine

I already gave you my ass. I guess you can have my hand too. — K.A. Mitchell

Damien has died and gone straight to gay boy heaven,' Shaunee said ... — P.C. Cast

The ring was there to say they were a team, a reminder that they were in this together, almost like a private joke only the two of them got. — K.A. Mitchell

They were, thank the patron saint of jilted gay boys everywhere, Saint Oh-No-He-Din't. — Cherie Noel

I can suck the chrome off a bumper and leave the car still standing. In other words, I am sexually gifted, a hero among gay men. — J.P. Barnaby

Somehow the pantsless gay man is not bringing the romance, Scott. — Bryan Lee O'Malley

I realized the best argentine meat was an appendage best served hot, wet, throbbing, & erect. — 5amWriterMan

Fortunately for Alan's sake, Frank preferred beauty over age so I had no need to defend my territory. — Nicole Castle