Funny You Are Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny You Are

Funny You Are Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny You Are quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

She gave him a cold and enraged glare. 'You are so pathetic, you make me want to vomit. — Morgan Rhodes

What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I will kill you. — Jackson Lanzing

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. — Erma Bombeck

Are you decent?" a woman's voice called, pushing the door cautiously ajar.
"Nay, but we're clothed," Cian purred. — Karen Marie Moning

You are not just a funny person or just a journalist. Most people are hybrids of having a smart opinion and a great sense of humor. — Katie Nolan

If we all learnt cat-speak, we would often find they are saying, "You stupid human, I am trying to tell you something important right now! — Leah Broadby

Hojo-"You sound exactly like bandits, bossing me around."
Bandits- "That's because we ARE bandits. — Rumiko Takahashi

If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt? — Doug Stanhope

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here? — Billy Connolly

I know that look. What are you up to, Gwen?"
"What makes you think I'm up to something?"
The Valkyrie snorted. "You're breathing, aren't you? — Jennifer Estep

People say 'Bill, are you an optimist?' And I say, 'I hope so.' — Bill Bailey

There are some things you just don't say...not even in a school! — X

I love when guys are funny. I love guys that are funny and goofy and over the top. And you know, I really like personality. I do. — Kaley Cuoco

So, funny story. There are fairies? In the Dark Woods. And I might have pissed off their king."
There was silence. Then, "Of course you did. — T.J. Klune

It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed. — C.S. Lewis

There are children in Africa, starving to death, and you don't hear them whinging. — Tim Minchin

If I let you go are you going to hit me again?"
"What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry

You know you are in love when you are willing to share your cash-machine number. — Elayne Boosler

If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn't mean just because you are confident you are funny. — Judah Friedlander

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life? — Natasha Leggero

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings. — Glen Hansard

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. — Jeff Valdez

Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you? — W.C. Fields

Are you really speechless or has the vodka finally impaired your ability to function like a normal human? — Heidi McLaughlin

You are a very threatening princess."
"Be Careful or I'll beat you up with my tiara. — Alyssa Rose Ivy

They say if you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns. Well, those are precisely the people who need them! — George Carlin

Please assure me that you are all Republicans. — Ronald Reagan

Y are you called the cheese man? — Barbara Park

What sort of look are you going for?"
Damn, how did he answer this? "Something ... normal," he finally said. — Toni Blake

Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls. — Auliq Ice

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family. — Bruce White

You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be or the person they will be. — Samantha Stroh Bailey

I suppose the things you remember about someone who has died are the funny moments. Those are the ones that stand out. — Harry Lloyd

The movies are funny, in one way, because you think of everyone being as beautiful as the dawn, but that isn't true. — Julian Fellowes

Back from where? you're not going out again and leaving me here are you?? Holy Hercules I sound like somebody's wife — Ruth Downie

That depends. Are you going to call me an ass again?"
"That depends. Are you going to act like one?" -Ashton and Maya — Kelley Armstrong

Funny how you notice how beautiful things are just when you're about to leave them. — Laura Ruby

Accents are funny. It sets me apart from the other girls doing comedy. It gives me more - how do you say? - pop-oo-laaarrrity. — Sofia Vergara

Are you a female dog?"
"What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real bitch! — Lisi Harrison

I can eat you at breakfast, not because I am a monster; it is only because you are too cute and yummy. — M.F. Moonzajer

Are you trying to tell all of us we have a bad signal-to-noise ratio? — Robert A. Heinlein

You are the Energizer Bunny for badasses. -Ash — Sherrilyn Kenyon

You know, there are just some things you never expect to face even on this job. A flying primate that shoots fire out its nose is one of them. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Gohan...Is that sunburn or are you blushing? — Akira Toriyama

If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that's what I'd be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong. — Marlon Wayans

Sometimes you are the peanut to my butter and sometimes you are those annoying crumbs left over when someone makes toast. — Brenda Lochinger

Are you sure you can't dematerialize? Not even a little?"
"I'm sure. — Lauren Oliver

Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway. — Chelsea Handler

Don't be so humble - you are not that great. — Golda Meir

The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you. — Criss Jami

If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween ... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you. — Lewis Black

I mean, we're ninjas."
"Well maybe you're a ninja," I said
"You're just a really loud, awkward ninja," Margo said, "but we are both ninjas. — John Green

While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits of the dead ... While you do not know life, how can you know about death — Confucius

Remind me," he paused, drawing in a stuttered gasp, "to never piss you off again. Christ, are you secretly a ninja? — Jennifer L. Armentrout

If you are feeling overly optimistic the Republican Candidates Debate is on. — Kristen Schaal

Say, Cuttino. What are those Godawful clothes you're wearing? Man, this ain't Rhode Island anymore. You're in the NBA. The girls have teeth here. — Charles Barkley

Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies. — Nigella Lawson

Why are you wearing a T-shirt under your other T-shirt?" Livvy asked.
"In case one of them is stolen," Marked said, as it were entirely normal. — Cassandra Clare

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands ... that can do your brain. — Ivan Stoikov

He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world! — James Dashner

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." — Henny Youngman

You," he purred, "are a HILF."
"A what?"
"A Horseman I'd like to fuck. — Larissa Ione

When it's all said and done remember, You are only as old as you look. — Mark W. Boyer

Had your forefathers, Wigglesworth, been as stupid as you are, the human race would never have succeeded in procreating itself. — Alan Bennett

I can see none of you are smugglers; that's why it's so loud. — Eugene Ormandy

Optimism isn't funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. It's exaggeration. — Steve Toltz

Yes, the mutes are already on. You took them off in the beginning. — Eugene Ormandy

I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material! — Wesley Snipes

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' — Susan Sarandon

Are you . . . lost?"
"Not really," she told him. "We just don't know where we're going. — Joel N. Ross

If you're heading downtown from Centeral Park, my advice is to take the subway. Flying pigs are faster but way more dangerous — Rick Riordan

Sometimes we know people who are
too wonderful for words. I am not one of them.
Or you, for that matter, as you well know. — Michael Hogan

Some things in life are certain; death, taxes, and that your family will piss you off. — Melanie Finn

What are those bulb things you're slicing?"
"You've never seen fennel? It looks like celery and tastes like licorice. — Ken Jennings

Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that's who you are. Don't try to be someone that society wants you to be, that's stupid. So be yourself — Christina Grimmie

The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy. — Harriet Morgan

Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.
-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet

Be careful, though."
"Aren't I always?"
"No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless. — Veronica Roth

Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? — Hannah Harrington

The physical mechanics of sex are pretty funny unless you are engaged in them. Then they are, of course, marvelous. — Charlton Heston

The funny thing about stopping is that as soon as you do it, here you are. — Jon Kabat-Zinn

Girls are funny. If they fall for you, they do what they want - their mothers be damned. — Michael Schmicker

When you do stuff as a comedian, Hollywood sees you as a comedian and so most of the calls I get are for a funny movie or something like that. — Cedric The Entertainer

The hateful reviews are very funny. And sometimes you can enjoy a hateful review much more than a good review. — Gaspar Noe

The Second Law of Thermodynamics: If you think things are in a mess now, just wait! — Jim Warner

Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.' — Dylan Moran

The guy behind the counter scratches his neck. "Are you being serious?" Her face is stoic. "Absolutely. I never kid about teddy bears. — Jessica Sorensen

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? — Margaret Smith

Are you sure this is a good idea?' I ask.
'No,' says Amber. 'Let's do it. — Doug MacLeod

You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused.
"No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same. — L.A. Casey

When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny. — Elizabeth Banks

You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own. — H. Jackson Brown Jr.

It's funny how the closer you get to God, the more you realize how far you are from Him. — Mark Hart

We are about to be eaten by a dragon, you're crawling on bleeding hands through bat droppings, and you're worried about being proper? — Bethany Wiggins

To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong! — Chad Michael Murray

Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana? — Henny Youngman

Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. — Ilona Andrews

Don't you just hate it, when you are in bed with three beautiful women, and the least attractive one whispers: save it for me! — Jim Carrey

When you are 15, everything is such high stakes, even tiny things. I think because of that, it is funny but sad at the same time. — Sophie Wu