Funny Yes Man Quotes: top 48 famous quotes about Funny Yes Man

Funny Yes Man Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Yes Man quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!" — Henny Youngman

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off! — Henny Youngman

Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily. — Rita Rudner

A man should be taller, older, heavier, uglier, and hoarser than his wife. — E.W. Howe

The dog is a yes-animal. Very popular with people who can't afford a yes man. — Robertson Davies

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. — Robin Williams

Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them. — Mae West

Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore. — Lois Greiman

This is a young man who is only 25, and you have to say, her has answered every question that has ever been asked. — David Coleman

Terribly sad news about Stuart Cable, such a lovely, warm, funny, talented man. — Rob Brydon

Money is what makes a man act funny. — Eminem

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? — Margaret Smith

Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. — Mark Twain

I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads. — Henny Youngman

There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!' — William Cosmo Monkhouse

My baby is weird man ... when he get mad, he gets in the oven. — Kevin Hart

There have been man-on-the-street interviews for years, but insulting people is not that funny to me. — Billy Eichner

It's funny, because I'm a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while. — Danny Bonaduce

You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own. — H. Jackson Brown Jr.

I wrote an entire movie [Man up] about how important I think voices are, so it was funny. — Lake Bell

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much! — Ljupka Cvetanova

For sheer sexiness, a man must be beautiful. Funny. yes. Clever, no. — Jilly Cooper

Money enhances a man, yes, as beauty enhances a woman. — Leona Helmsley

I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away. — Henny Youngman

A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife." "So you're single!" — Henny Youngman

The people who know you well are the people who know your vulnerabilities. — Danny Wallace

Are you real?" Stupid. Of course he's real.
"Yes, Julie. I'm not the mystical man from your dreams. — Caroline George

The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid. — Frank Carson

A man says to his mate: "My wife is a twin." His mate says, "How do you tell them apart?" The man says: "Her brother has a beard." — Frank Carson

A man can well afford to be as bold as brass, my good fellow, when he gets gold in exchange! — Charles Dickens

A man who views the world the same ... — Muhammad Ali

Chris Rock is a very funny man. — Willie Geist

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run. — Milton Jones

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself. — Tommy Cooper

He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife. — Bob Phillips

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. — G. Gordon Liddy

I could pull off a 'man', but never, quite, a 'dude'. — Adrian Barnes

A car hit a Jewish man. The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?" The man says, "I make a good living." — Henny Youngman

Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Nevertheless, he was already a sick man. He had gotten more than gas at Bill Hapscomb's Texaco. And he gave Harry Trent more than a speeding summons. — Stephen King

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin. — Daniel Tosh

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

You want me to be a man,older than you, who goes by the name of Roullard. — Wendelin Van Draanen

In a man, I like funny guys. A guy who doesn't have a lot of therapy, who's mature. A man, not a boy. — Maura Tierney

This man dresses like an unmade bed. — Henny Youngman

I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man. — Santosh Kalwar

Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle." — Mitch Hedberg