Funny Year Quotes
Collection of top 58 famous quotes about Funny Year
Funny Year Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Year quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.
— Mitch Hedberg
Usually the thought process for a seventeen-year-old boy went girl touching me omg boner.
— Leah Raeder
I have an idea for sweatshops: air conditioning! That's simple. 14 year old boys working twelve hour days? "Yeah, but they're comfortable!"
— Mitch Hedberg
For Christmas one year I bought my son a BB gun. He bought me a t-shirt with a bulls eye on the back.
— Rodney Dangerfield
If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny.
— Sarah Silverman
You're not exactly up for the Humanitarian of the Year award, so save your altruism for someone who can't see through you like cellophane.
— Rebecca McNutt
He has a 5 year plan ... What is it, don't die?
— Adam Sandler
![Funny Year Quotes By Pete Incaviglia: People think [baseball players] make $3 million and](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/funny-year-quotes-by-pete-incaviglia-367725.jpg "Funny Year Quotes By Pete Incaviglia: People think [baseball players] make $3 million and")
People think [baseball players] make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.
— Pete Incaviglia
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.
— Rodney Dangerfield
The shooting of the guns, that was kind of funny, because rolling a cigarette and shooting a gun aren't like normal things for a 13-year old girl!
— Hailee Steinfeld
I'm doing what I love, and then I get months and months of rest. I have a lot of money for a 21-year old. I can't stand it when actors complain.
— Jennifer Lawrence
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
— George Burns
It's so funny that people specify that year because in a way it was the biggest battle for me health wise.
— Brady Anderson
It is funny what a year can do.
— Victor Cruz
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
— Claude Pepper
It's funny how getting stabbed through the heart by a friend can bring your whole school year down.
— Heather Brewer
No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!
— Gary Gulman
Young Frank Pastore may have pitched the biggest victory of 1979. Maybe the biggest victory of the year!
— Jerry Coleman
Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".
— Jerry Coleman
Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.
— George Carlin
You have the maturity of a 14-year-old boy!" Kennedy hisses."And you have the chest of one. — Emma Chase
What year did Jesus think it was?
— George Carlin
It's funny to think that Christmas - a time known for its joyful togetherness - can be the loneliest time of the year for some.
— Giovanna Fletcher
So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?
— Christina Aguilera
Marry me, he says. I got all my own teeth, I wash twice a year an I'll cut you in fer half the business here.
— Moira Young
I love anybody funny. I think my ten-year-old sister is really funny. She makes me laugh way more than most people do.
— Chelsea Martin
Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.
— Lewis Black
Penard's got a secret baby!' Fifteen-year-old Richard twisted his lips up at one end. 'Maybe he has a secret wife in the attic!
— Olivia Newport
Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby".
— Ronald Reagan
Last year we drove across the country ... We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip ... I don't remember what it was ...
— Steven Wright
That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year.
— Murray Walker
Soun Tendo: Drowned Octopus Spring?Guide from Jusenkyo: Is tragic tale of giant octopus who drown 1600 year ago ... somehow. — Rumiko Takahashi
The only reason why you were WWE Champion for a year, is because Triple H didn't want to work Tuesdays.
— Paul Heyman
What's amazing is that she was possessed by Satan for almost a year and nobody noticed anything unusual!
— MaryJanice Davidson
The world is a gawking four-year-old.
— Adrian Barnes
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety. — Steven Wright
You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living.
— Jim Norton
Bob Davis has his hair differently this year, short with curls like Randy Jones wears. I think you call it a Frisbee.
— Jerry Coleman
Muti is going to do the Alpine Symphony this year. He will do it well because it is not very well known.
— Eugene Ormandy
My new years resolution? I will be less laz ...
— Jim Gaffigan
Christian is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys.
— Charles Barkley
