Funny Why Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny Why

Funny Why Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Why quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Nix and Emma: 'Looks like you just found a new talent.'
'Great. Why couldn't I be good at underwater origami or something? — Kresley Cole

Why are they called a-part-ments, when they're all stuck together? — Steven Wright

I don't think she liked being called a slut, I don't know why ... some women are just funny like that. — Cecelia Ahern

What? Why are you making the glee nose? The death of my world is funny? The final vengeance of my people? I will kill you. — Jackson Lanzing

It's true - there are only, like, two songs about rainbows, including that one. He should be asking why there are so few songs about rainbows. — Cheryl Cory

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake. — Gabriel Iglesias

Why couldn't you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team! — Pittacus Lore

If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt? — Doug Stanhope

Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day. — Ed Bernard

Why should i go to his funeral? He ain't comming to mine. — Daniel Nielsen

I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them. — Sarah Silverman

Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister. — The Undertaker

It's a mystery why certain people find certain things funny. — John C. Reilly

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons? — Steven Wright

Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there. — Chelsea Handler

Wait a second," Clary said.
"I never understand why people say that," Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere. — Cassandra Clare

I understand that you don't want to marry me," I said. "I mean, I don't know why, since I'm simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste. — Merrie Haskell

Why doesn't Santa just park the god-damn sleigh in the driveway like a normal guest? (Your Temporary Santa) — David Levithan

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them. — Denis Leary

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? — Robert Benchley

The worst thing ever that you have to explain your joke because I was very disappointed trying to explain why the joke is funny for the interrogator. — Bassem Youssef

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.' — Joan Rivers

Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me? — J.K. Rowling

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it? — Steven Wright

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? — George Carlin

Death isn't funny."
"Then why are there so many jokes about death? Jill, with us - us humans - death is so sad that we must laugh at it. — Robert A. Heinlein

Pure joy is rare. That's why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak. — Bauvard

Why, why in the blue-green world write this sort of thing? Funny written culture, I guess; we pass things on. — Annie Dillard

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce? — Natasha Leggero

I mean, why would you want the funny sidekick when you can have the heroine? — Lauren Layne

For some reason and I don't know why, but I don't think that I'm funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere. — Kevin James

So this is why I write. Because most times, your life isn't funny the first time through. Most times, you can hardly stand it. — Chuck Palahniuk

Why had she set limits like no sex? I want sex. — Cherise Sinclair

WHY did she do this? She was a terrible drunk texter. All the things she wanted to say to people during the day came out at night, like a vampire. — Harriet Evans

I do find comedy difficult. I don't know why. Maybe I think about it too much. There's a tremendous amount of pressure to be funny. — Michelle Pfeiffer

On why he no longer went to Ruggeri's, a St. Louis restaurant: "Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded." — Yogi Berra

Why can't women tell jokes? Because we marry them! — Kathy Lette

My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.' — Bob Monkhouse

His breath is so bad why every time he smokes he blows onion rings. — Rodney Dangerfield

Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. — Eminem

You look worse today than you did when you had two black
eyes."
"Why, thank you, Tyler. You always say the sweetest things. — Gwen Hayes

Why does everyone think the future is space helmets, silver foil, and talking like computers, like a bad episode of Star Trek? — Tracey Ullman

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? — Steven Wright

I realize why women die in childbirth - it's preferable. — Sherry Glaser

Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that's why I don't have a boyfriend. — Lucy Liu

Every time a baseball player grabs his crotch, it makes him spit. That's why you should never date a baseball player. — Marsha Warfield

If I were you, I'd go and do that. : Vikalp
That's why you're not me! : Yatharth. — Shubham Choudhary

In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!" — Henny Youngman

I can see why they named that ballet the Nutcracker. It's gotta hurt having 'em crushed in something that tight. — Mark A. Cooper

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? — Steven Wright

That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men — Bill Engvall

Life is funny. Why should the afterlife be any different? — Nick Shamhart

He took your sweet, funny, perfect heart ... and he destroyed it. Why do you keep letting him do it over and over again? — Jess Rothenberg

I just finished running, and I look and smell like nothing very pleasant. Why, oh, why did he have to bump into me now? — Abigail Owen

Most humans expressed affection by pressing their lips together, a simple act, so why would anyone feel the need to research the process? — Melissa Landers

"God save our gracious Queen": Why would we invoke a non-specific deity to bail out these unelected spongers? — Bill Bailey

I don't know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he's funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me. — Paul Lynde

Why do you always start after my beat then rush to catch up? Do you want us to stay behind? — Eugene Ormandy

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? — Steven Wright

It is a fact that even warming moments overwhelm me with despair, and this is why I am I. — Morrissey

If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? — George Carlin

Not one word," Kel warned. "Tobe and I have reached an understanding."
Neal's lips twitched. "Why do I feel you did most of the understanding. — Tamora Pierce

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? — Steven Wright

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? — Steven Wright

What's a wingding? Why, a wingding is, uh ... it's just like a shindig but without all the hullabaloo. — Cuthbert Soup

We are funny creatures. We don't see the stars as they are, so why do we love them? They are not small gold objects, but endless fire. — Saul Bellow

I can see none of you are smugglers; that's why it's so loud. — Eugene Ormandy

Why are you wearing a T-shirt under your other T-shirt?" Livvy asked.
"In case one of them is stolen," Marked said, as it were entirely normal. — Cassandra Clare

The only reason why you were WWE Champion for a year, is because Triple H didn't want to work Tuesdays. — Paul Heyman

Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. — Michael Gambon

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy! — Henny Youngman

Purple Haze all in my brain, lately things don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why. 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky. — Jimi Hendrix

No one's stopping you," said Jess. "But you've got to make it more interesting. That's why why we drift off and talk about biscuits. — Nick Hornby

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new? — Steven Wright

Why does everyone have to pretend to be stupid and not know long words? — Martin Freeman

Why it's simply impassible!
Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?
Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! — Lewis Carroll

They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat! — David Letterman

Boy what a hotel that was, why they stole my towel. — Rodney Dangerfield

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? — Robin Williams

You bitch!
Why is it that whenever I draw blood, I'm a bitch? — Rachel Vincent

But that's why you pay for insurance, right? If you never file a claim, then they've beaten you. — Jonathan Tropper

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't? — Paul Merton

Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! — Groucho Marx

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door? — Steven Wright

Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs! — Mehmet Murat Ildan

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. — Stonewall Jackson

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. — Bill Bryson

Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That's why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money ... — Fabolous

Are you a female dog?"
"What?" Massie asked. "Why?"
"Because you are acting like a real bitch! — Lisi Harrison

I'd rather have rabies than be in love."
"Why?"
"Because at least you can get over rabies with some shots. — Shelly Laurenston

When I said it aloud, it sounded terribly creepy, which is why I had said it aloud. — Amanda Hocking

When you start explaining why something's funny or finding a formula for it I think it loses some of its funniness. — Betty White

Whoa, who was that?"
"Madison Stone," Kiara mutters.
"Introduce me to her."
"Why?"
Because I know it'll annoy the shit out of you. — Simone Elkeles

There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied 'One's absurd! and bigamy, sir, is a crime!' — William Cosmo Monkhouse

The thing I don't get about paedophilia ... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy? — Frankie Boyle

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already? — Cynthia Heimel

To me, I've never understood why there is any question about are women as funny as men. — Judd Apatow

Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense — Lucille Clifton

She thinks you're stalking me."
"Why the hell would I do that? I see too much of your ugly mug as it is. — Margaret Watson

You put cow dung on my face?' 'Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is so clear? — Renita D'Silva