Funny Tosh Quotes: top 27 famous quotes about Funny Tosh

Funny Tosh Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Tosh quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

How come everybody cheers when chicks flash their T&A, but when I pull out my D&Bs, i'm a registered sex offender. — Daniel Tosh

I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house ... — Daniel Tosh

It's not a stereotype if it's always true. — Daniel Tosh

It's not Spring Break until somebody dies! — Daniel Tosh

You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary. — Daniel Tosh

The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes. — Daniel Tosh

This isn't just a shopping mall. It's more like ... "
"A religious experience?"
"Exactly! It's like going to church ... — J.G. Ballard

Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister. — The Undertaker

I don't know what's funny and what's not so I test out all of my material in front of audiences. — Daniel Tosh

The worst isn't done. The worst is just beginning, and there are no happy endings. (Samuel Tarly) — George R R Martin

I came up with my own expression. I like to make it hail. Yeah. That's when you throw change on sluts. — Daniel Tosh

That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere. — Daniel Tosh

You are a sick freak who should be beaten. — Daniel Tosh

Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of. — Daniel Tosh

I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed. — Daniel Tosh

If no meant no then every man would die a virgin. — Daniel Tosh

I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she's in the shower. — Daniel Tosh

Beginning to create again was something that I took for granted but I never will take it for granted again. — Lou Gramm

I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best. — Daniel Tosh

Wouldn't it be funny if that girl got raped by like, 5 guys right now? Like right now? What if a bunch of guys just raped her ... — Daniel Tosh

Least said,soonest mended, Toby quipped, quoting a saying Jess often used. — Jean Little

It felt like my teeth were sweating. Eoin Colfer's The Legend of Spud Murphy — Eoin Colfer

Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent. — Daniel Tosh

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it. — Daniel Tosh

Delwyn believed that some secrets were meant to stay in the shadows. — Kelly Proudfoot

I hope we find a cure for every major disease, because I'm tired of walking 5K. I'm pretty sure I don't have to sweat for cancer. I'll write a check. — Daniel Tosh

I'm not a racist or misogynist person, but I find these jokes funny, so I say them. — Daniel Tosh