Funny Time Off Quotes: top 54 famous quotes about Funny Time Off

Funny Time Off Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Time Off quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

That time had a funny way of dimming the edges of reality until only something blurry remained, — Nicholas Sparks

Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything ... — Clive Barker

It was a typically British birth ... I was three at the time. They had a strike in the maternity ward ... I came out in sympathy. — Bob Hope

Hey, don't knock it. It still runs. Most of the time, even after I turn it off. Jo — Sherrilyn Kenyon

I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time. — Chic Murray

Funny how time heals. Like that bullet in my ribs. It's there, I know it's there, but I can barely feel it at all anymore. — Lauren Oliver

A good time for laughing is when you can. — Jessamyn West

It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time. — Julie Powell

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT! — Jeff Foxworthy

The funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it. — Kevin Sorbo

Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural. — Shaquille O'Neal

Funny how
time goes on,
things change,
and yet,
some things stay
exactly the same. — Lisa Schroeder

My dad is actually a manic depressive, which is very exciting half the time. — Marc Maron

I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen. — Red Skelton

So just let me deal with it, I can be emotionally flawed and still love you all at the same time. I'm a great multitasker. — Holly Hood

The difference between divorce and legal separation is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money. — Johnny Carson

I happen to be very good with younger actors because I have extremely vivid memories of that time of my life, and kids are just funny. — David M. Evans

The Devil made me do it the first time -
the second time I done it on my own — Billy Joe Shaver

I don't like forcing comedy and people just trying to do things just to find a funny beat all the time. — Martin Lawrence

Eternity is not a super-abundance of time, but timelessness. — Vijay Balakrishnan

Life is funny, at the same time being totally harsh. — Isabel Gillies

Was that suit made to order? Where were you at the time? — Henny Youngman

Funny how you can measure time by pets that were not even your own. — Lori Lansens

It was funny how the monumental shit in your life tends to happen in slow-motion and at warp speed at the same time. — N.R. Walker

I'm English. We're about as tactful as a hot poker up the bum, most of the time. — L.H. Thomson

It's funny how he refuses to make eye contact during sex yet can't seem to keep his eyes off me the rest of the time. — Colleen Hoover

Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter ... with alliteration, no less! — E.A. Bucchianeri

I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time. — Gabriel Iglesias

Liza took her time sipping her tea. That's what I hear Janet. Of course, living it up can take years off your life and add them to your face. — Gwenn Wright

Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay off our debt. — Stephen Colbert

Forever is a very long time, especially the bit towards the end. — Janna Levin

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies? There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. — Groucho Marx

I hope the next time you get a double-decker strawberry ice-cream cone the ice cream part falls off the cone and lands in Australia. — Judith Viorst

I come from a time when people like Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby told stories that were devastatingly funny without being off-color. — Bill Engvall

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no. — Bo Burnham

Before you eat the elephant, make sure you know what parts you want to eat. — Todd Stocker

I firmly believe that if you can't fool all of the people all of the time you should start breeding them for stupidity. - Weisshaupt — Dave Sim

My mum, a strange creature from the time when pickles on toothpicks were still the height of sophistication. — Renee Zellweger

The idea that you can't be attractive and funny at the same time is something that I hate. — Emma Stone

There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off.
"What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! — Greg Farshtey

What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off? — Parker S. Huntington

Time is a funny thing. It can take some people a whole lifetime before they realize they've been playing tug-of-war all by themselves. — Karen White

She has to agree to have me. It could take some time, but I'm confident I can trick her into it. — Robyn Carr

Time has that funny way of smoothing out the rough edges of things, even ones that hurt a little bit. Or a lot. — Megan Hart

That's the first time he had started from the front row in a Grand Prix, having done so in Canada earlier this year. — Murray Walker

When something is truly funny, it's funny all the time. — Cloris Leachman

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net. — Russell Howard

I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin. — Libba Bray

People think I am funny all the time. But I am not. I am serious, too. Also, I enjoy serious, dramatic films. — Kapil Sharma

If you have spent any time with Barack Obama, you know he's a funny guy. He's a good guy. He knows sports. — Ed Rendell

Time is funny lately, nothing to do with clocks. — Victor Lodato

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family. — Jeff Foxworthy

When you are 15, everything is such high stakes, even tiny things. I think because of that, it is funny but sad at the same time. — Sophie Wu