Funny Sleep Quotes
Collection of top 50 famous quotes about Funny Sleep
Funny Sleep Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Sleep quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
— Garry Shandling
How did I prepare for night shifts? When I was a small, anxious kid, I checked my mom in her sleep to make sure she was still breathing.
— Joyce Rachelle
Stress and sleep deprivation had a funny way of liberating the mind from previously held truisms, replacing them with a more compliant desperation.
— David Z. Hirsch
America has become so tense and nervous it has been years since I have seen anyone sleep in church - and that is a sad situation.
— Norman Vincent Peale
Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister.
— The Undertaker
We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
— Bernard Manning
While I'm fixing up this idiot. I want you to get some sleep ... and tell Amano that if he bothers you, I'll break his other leg.
— Julie Kagawa
She would have to ride the nightmare in her sleep. Only that would keep it material, or enable her to dematerialize with it.
— Piers Anthony
I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn't notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.
— Michael Summers
Soon she cried and farted herself to sleep.
— Louise Erdrich
I had a dream about you last night. We stopped telling each other about our dreams when we realized we were still inside them.
— Michael Summers
I had a dream about you last night ... I was a brick and you were a blanket. Damn that improbability drive.
— Nicole McKay
I had a dream about you last night. It wasn't until after you sold me the talking car, I realized you were the world's best ventriloquist.
— Michael Summers
Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
— Francois De La Rochefoucauld
I really think I'd be better at, like, advanced napping techniques.
— Tui T. Sutherland
In bed, I can go for hours. Oh yes, I love naps.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I make love with a focus and intensity that most people reserve for sleep.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
— Lewis Grizzard
As to sleep, you know, I never sleep now. I might be a Watchman, except that I don't get any pay, and he's got nothing on his mind.
— Charles Dickens
Now go to sleep. I'll wake you up when I want you.""Should I just sleep with my legs spread or what? — Dominique Frost
But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.
— Charlie Sheen
I had a dream about you last night ... Well I say dream I mean nightmare ... you were a Yankee fan.
— Nicole McKay
You will stay with me. You will sleep here at my side and you will touch me. I am depressed but not when you stroke my chest.
— Laurann Dohner
I had a dream about you last night ... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs.
— Amy Summers
Did he teach you how to bore you opponents to sleep? Because I think I missed that lesson - Allie
— Julie Kagawa
Sometimes, when I can't get to sleep, I imagine all the rules I'd invent if I ever got to be in charge of the world.
— Sophie Kinsella
Kippers : fish that like a lot of sleep.
— Chic Murray
Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy.
— Niall Horan
How about those people who don't need sleep? What are they called again? Successful? What a bunch of dicks they are.
— Jim Gaffigan
No man is greater than his respect for sleep.
— Ogden Nash
It's four A.M.! Who goes to bed this early!?
— Jeff Hirsch
You have a couple of buddies sleep over, and, you know, you play cops and robbers. That I'm getting paid to do it now is kind of funny.
— Chris O'Donnell
I didn't dream about you last night. I woke up in fear.
— Michael Summers
I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline.
— Michael Summers
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
— Phyllis Diller
I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
— Woody Allen
