Funny Quote Quotes: top 78 famous quotes about Funny Quote

Funny Quote Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Quote quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Trust me, there are things in this mountain that will make your jaw bounce off the floor. — Jaleigh Johnson

I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid! — Fakeer Ishavardas

You're never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child. — Dr. Seuss

I don't have a hot date. I don't even have a lukewarm date. — Sarah Morgan

Rina's always claimed that I expect too little from life," Standard said.
"Then at least you'll never be disappointed. — James Sallis

After a long moment, Laurent said, I'm going to need some help standing up. — C.S. Pacat

Christmas without a murder plot is like a day without giant spiders eaten orphans" (quote on my special gift holiday mugs) — Roma Gray

Life is a circle. It spins you around. — Ljupka Cvetanova

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees. — Ryan Lilly

Love is relentless, and so am I ;) — Keisha Keenleyside

Fuck it ... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man. — Louis C.K.

Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists. — Matshona Dhliwayo

Nerd life is just so much better than regular life. — John Green

Peace cannot be achieved; they have to be plucked out of their pod. — A.G. Phillips

Quote: a banal proverb that is considered profound when uttered by a celebrity. — Bauvard

I'm so careless that now i don't even care if i cared about you. — Me

Who are you?' Gaia gasped.
The girl froze for a moment.
Looked at her. Smiled and said, 'Who am I? I'm the Breeze, bitch! — Michael Grant

I'm very much down to earth, just not this earth. — Karl Lagerfeld

it's funny how I'm encouraged to go to school so much, but I've learned more valuable things on google then from school. — James Jean-Pierre

That's the problem with best friends. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself. — Cecily Von Ziegesar

No vampires? You know, the kind that sparkle? I giggle to myself, thinking "Go Team Edward!" - Willow — Mira Monroe

Your welcome means more to me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, than a thousand souls. Watching Rachel work is a wonder of one catastrophe after another. — Kim Harrison

You're like an oceanic Lassie." My grin twitched on my face, threatening to tumble over into laughter again. — Katherine McIntyre

I'm waiting with baited breath to hear that silver tongue of yours. — Jodie B. Cooper

He was all over me like brown rice! — L'Poni Baldwin

Who peed in your cheerios? — Michelle Hodkin

All groups are a little intimidated by ya show of power. I mean who ever thought the monarchy was dead didn't realize it changed zip codes. - Cross — Mira Monroe

Good man and bad man with money goes a long ways." ~ Amunhotep El Bey — Amunhotep El Bey

If you want to know what the camel stole from your kitchen yesterday, then you shouldn;t slit open its stomach. You should stare into its arsehole. — Jussi Adler-Olsen

It's not over till the fat lady eats! — Ljupka Cvetanova

I find Anders very funny and funny lasts forever." Samantha — Angela Nicoara

You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape. — J. Richard Singleton

Funny, a witch who likes dogs over cats. I think I like this about you. - Rhydian — Mira Monroe

I guess it's worth a shot. More than likely a wasted bullet, but I'll fire anyway. — Brandy Nacole

Who would have ever thought going to a library would be so scary? — Brandy Nacole

It is a sign of immaturity to believe that being older than someone (automatically) makes you more (mentally) mature than them. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

You think I'm daffy?"
"Don't be offended by a snap judgment. It's true of anyone who cares about squirrels. — Edward W. Robertson

Play and be happy. — Lailah Gifty Akita

Neither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack. — Gayle Forman

Part of my soul goes into each quote I write. A book of my quotes can be yours for just $19.99. — Ryan Lilly

Pause while reading a book only in case of two things:
1. To kiss
2. To sip coffee
Too bad both are a luxury. — Saleem Sharma

Labor is a man crowning glory."
"Not this man's."
"I quote Marx"
I raised my hands. The pickaxe handle had been rough.
"I quote blisters. — John Fowles

Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags. — Fakeer Ishavardas

Phones are only good for ordering pizza and telling someone you're running late — Amy Reed

To cut a long story short, I'm a writer. — Carla H. Krueger

Ladies glisten, men perspire, horses sweat.

-Early Nun Quote, The Old Ursuline Convent (1727)
New Orleans, LA — Diana Hollingsworth Gessler

The doctor asked me recently how I was feeling within myself, I replied, "absolutely fine doctor, but I'm terribly lonely without myself. — Benny Bellamacina

You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you're smart, you'll end up as a comedian. If you're not, you'll end up as a clown. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Who's stupid now, Jimbo?! — April Henry

It is best one should quote what one doesn't understand at all in the language one knows the least — Voltaire

Anytime you can escape to an adventure do it, what have you got to lose? Just keep turning the page. — Mira Monroe

Keep trying?
I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky — Ljupka Cvetanova

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying. — Thabang Gideon Magaola

So two atoms of Helium were acting all funny ... Hehe — Na

The best cure for a stick up your butt is a dog to play fetch with. — Ryan Lilly

You put cow dung on my face?' 'Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is so clear? — Renita D'Silva

Men weigh love with hands. — Ljupka Cvetanova

This quote will self-destruct in ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Just kidding ... Or am I? — Craig Benzine

So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not? — K.A. Mitchell

Today I plan to smile a lot, only so people who know me will be freaked the fuck out. — R.D. Ronald

I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house? — Ljupka Cvetanova

Quote from In Love of Honey, Money....and My Virgin Passport

If you think you've the most wicked sense of humour, try life! — Mita Jain

Fuck you!" "Right here?" He crossed his arms. "That definitely wouldn't help your getting over me. — Stacey Marie Brown

I can see why they named that ballet the Nutcracker. It's gotta hurt having 'em crushed in something that tight. — Mark A. Cooper

Our parents would not be 'The best parents in the world' (to us) if they were not our parents. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I think therefore I am not sure. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Are you kidding me? The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. — TheFlamingPopsicle

What is a quote? A quote (cognate with quota) is a cut, a section, a slice of someone's orange. You suck the slice, toss the rind, skate away. — Anne Carson

She said yes. If only she didn't talk so much! — Ljupka Cvetanova

Falling in love and falling to your death feel about the same, I thought. And I almost laughed. — Shannon Hale

Time and Tide wait for no Man; what about woman ? How Sexist ! — Gaurav Rao

Don't fucking quote me! — Roni Batti Kajou

Opposities are married. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Funny how a little sleep, a little makeup, and a lot of contemplating can make you feel like a different person - a stronger version of yourself. — Anna Banks

I surround myself with books when I write, thus surrounding myself with writers... only they don't critique me and then get up for coffee. — Ryan Lilly

It's funny how those we care about can create the same reaction that we get when we are facing down a monster ready to kill us. — Brandy Nacole

What goes up must come down. Which is why we invented Viagra, to make it stay up a little longer. — Carroll Bryant