Funny Mother Quotes
Collection of top 51 famous quotes about Funny Mother
Funny Mother Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Mother quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I think I got a lot of my 'funny' DNA from my mother, who had a glorious sense of the ridiculous.
— Christopher Buckley
Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother.
— Katie McGarry
It's a funny thing, because I think that my mother and I may finally be speaking the same language. But somehow, now words don't seem as necessary
— Gayle Forman
Parthenogenesis means never having your mother tell you to stop doing that or you'll go blind.
— Seanan McGuire
Mother, you have my father much offended.
— William Shakespeare
I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.
— Paula Poundstone
A mother is the best friend God ever gave.
— Christian Nestell Bovee
Talk about getting off tangent. My mother's friend may have just killed his wife and my parents are sitting there talking about cows.
— Wendy Lichtman
Growing up my mother used to tell me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Funny how I always wanted to be me.
— Leona Keyoko Pink
I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
— Henny Youngman
He wondered if her spy had stumbled upon his last night. When did he start thinking like his mother?
— Johanna Lindsey
Why had his mother gone to the trouble of bringing him into the world if the most exciting moment in his life was having been made lame by a bayonet?
— Felix J. Palma
I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motormouth of hers could
have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer — James Patterson
have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer — James Patterson
"Well," said my aunt, "this is his boy - his son. He would be as like his father as it's possible to be, if he was not so like his mother, too."
— Charles Dickens
Yes. Yes, when we live our life like 1950s detective films. I often go to my fridge, "Hullo, we're out of milk. I say mother, where's the milk?"
— Bill Bailey
My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.
— Chic Murray
Some nice lady came over here with food for us all. She claimed to be your mother. I don't believe it
you're an asshole, and she's good people. — Amy Lane
you're an asshole, and she's good people. — Amy Lane
He had a real mother, and a stepfather named Bart who Martin called Fart but only with his brothers and James
— Marthe Jocelyn
Not everything's funny, Mother."
"No," said Leola, "so I guess when you can laugh,, it's all the sweeter. — Lorna Landvik
"No," said Leola, "so I guess when you can laugh,, it's all the sweeter. — Lorna Landvik
You gotta make your own fun. That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about.
— Dave Attell
You know I love you,' said the other mother flatly.
'You have a very funny way of showing it,' said Coraline. — Neil Gaiman
'You have a very funny way of showing it,' said Coraline. — Neil Gaiman
Go to bed, Cammie," my aunt ordered, sounding exactly like my mother.
"No," I said, sounding exactly like my aunt. — Ally Carter
"No," I said, sounding exactly like my aunt. — Ally Carter
My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
— Angie Dickinson
My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.
— Chic Murray
And honestly, given the choice of facing my mother or a vampire, I think I'd always choose the latter.
— Krystle Jones
Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart condition?
— Phil Silvers
So Carol, you're a housewife and mother. And have you got any children?
— Michael Barrymore
That you, sister. May you be the mother of a bishop.
— Brendan Behan
Mom, how come you never go outside?"
"I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel
"I told you, I'm a vampire. — Alison Bechdel
We're blessed on 'How I Met Your Mother' to feel like we're doing a bit of a funny playlet everyday.
— Neil Patrick Harris
Don't fuck with me. I don't like it and I know your mother.
Jory to a Handsy-Hayes Fischer — Mary Calmes
Jory to a Handsy-Hayes Fischer — Mary Calmes
My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons.
— Chris Rock
I asked mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
— Bill Watterson
The only person who worries about my mother is God, and that's only because she wants His job.
— Sue Civil-Brown
Auguste Escoffier into what we now know as the five mother sauces of French cuisine. It's funny
— Padma Lakshmi
I don't believe in God, don't believe in the devil. Unless you want to count my mother. She might be Satan's sister, I suppose.
— Ellen Hopkins
You talked to your mother about Duncan's erectile dysfunction?" He glared down at her. "Has he considered taking your TV away?
— Dana Marie Bell
Get your filthy paws off my son, feet pue tan! Cherise
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!
— Eoin Colfer
My mother and father were very strange people. They tried to be funny which is always very sad to me.
— Jonathan Winters
My wife said, 'Can my mother come down for the weekend?' So I said, 'Why?' And she said, 'Well, she's been up on the roof two weeks already.'
— Bob Monkhouse
Now I am shut up with his mother on Bramble farm and she is no better for conversation than prune whip
— Sandra Dallas
I married your mother because I wanted children, imagine my disappointment when you came along.
— Groucho Marx
My mother, my psychiatrist and an assortment of sedatives eventually convinced me I was delusional.
— Wayne Gerard Trotman
Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn't have the heart to tell my father.
— Holly Hood