Funny Me Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny Me
Funny Me Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Me quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Don DeLillo's 'White Noise,' which I read when I was 19. It showed me that a book can be funny as hell and deadly serious.
— Kevin Barry
Like Cammie is fine," Macey said, then glanced at me. "No offense.""None taken," I said. "I think. — Ally Carter
I tended to hate people that hit me in the head without warning.
— Amanda Hocking
Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me. I was just inherently funny when I was a kid.
— Pauly Shore
Right now my favorite TV show - because it's too close to home - is 'My Name Is Earl.' That show kills me. There's some funny stuff in there.
— Rodney Atkins
I really hate it when people want to kill me. It makes me think they don't want to be friends. - Raven from Blood of Prey
— R.J. Dennis
Shocked to see me?" I drawl at them, chuckling at the horrific joke.
— Victoria Aveyard
It sounds like you aren't used to having something so powerful between your legs," Abbey said. "Maybe you should let me drive.
— Shawn Keenan
-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere.
— Terry Pratchett
That's for me to know, and for you to find out.
— Ally Carter
Onions make me sad. A lot of people don't realize that.
— Mitch Hedberg
What is wrong with me i just bought a bag of weed from an infant.
— Dave Chappelle
Being pretty on the inside means you don't hit your brother and you eat all your peas - that's what my grandma taught me.
— Lord Chesterfield
Noctis ... this is a little embarrassing, but ... your male anatomy is bothering me.
— Dahlia L. Summers
My father was funnier than me. My father was Richard Pryor-funny. I'm just a better businessman.
— Tracy Morgan
Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.
— Steven Wright
It's funny because being comedic and happy and lighthearted is who I am as a person, so they're easier emotions for me to connect with.
— Lindsay Lohan
If I let you go are you going to hit me again?""What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry
I understand that you don't want to marry me," I said. "I mean, I don't know why, since I'm simply delightful to be around. But to each his own taste.
— Merrie Haskell
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
— Claude Pepper
I'm in the mood for love, simply because you're near me. Funny, but when you're near me I'm in the mood for love.
— Dorothy Fields
Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me?
— J.K. Rowling
It wasn't funny for Bill Herondale!" said Magnus. "Oh, damn it. Now you've got me doing it.
— Cassandra Clare
Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me!
— Rick Riordan
Posturing is funny to me.
— Casey Wilson
Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny.
— Ilona Andrews
And I'd be damned if I let the first photograph of me in ten years be taken on fucking Amtrak. I mean, the light alone.
— Elizabeth Little
I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me.
— Stephenie Meyer
I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman.
— Craig Ferguson
Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet
I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing.
— Pippa Evans
It is a fact that even warming moments overwhelm me with despair, and this is why I am I.
— Morrissey
You want me to be a man,older than you, who goes by the name of Roullard.
— Wendelin Van Draanen
The Devil made me do it the first time -the second time I done it on my own — Billy Joe Shaver
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
— Mitch Hedberg
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do?
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
This morning someone sent me a very funny photo of me holding their puppy. We have matching colour jackets.
— Luke Treadaway
Don't fuck with me. I don't like it and I know your mother.Jory to a Handsy-Hayes Fischer — Mary Calmes
I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material!
— Wesley Snipes
You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
— Don Rickles
America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait.
— Katt Williams
Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy?
— Hannah Harrington
I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
— Warren Buffett
Somehow the idea of Montgomery as a fairy doesn't have the same effect on me as it appears to have on you.-Raphael — Nalini Singh
Sunshine gives me a headache
— Rainbow Rowell
I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!"
— Mitch Hedberg
If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great.
— Erin Dionne
What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off?
— Parker S. Huntington
Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!"
— Henny Youngman
We all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously.
— Terry Pratchett
I have a rule: I prefer anyone who doesn't try to kill me to anyone who does. I'm funny that way.
— China Mieville
You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore.
— Bruce McCulloch
She has to agree to have me. It could take some time, but I'm confident I can trick her into it.
— Robyn Carr
I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!"
— Mitch Hedberg
Purple Haze all in my brain, lately things don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why. 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky.
— Jimi Hendrix
I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me.
— Shannon L. Alder
I hate when I break my own rules. What's the point of me being rational if I flail around like a clown?
— Jesse Ball
You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet.
— Jules Barnard
You have a gorgeous ass, and it holds handprints beautifully.Oh, well, how nice for me. — Cherise Sinclair
It's funny how the smallest things I've done speak the loudest about me, but I like that.
— Xavier Niel
The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy.
— Harriet Morgan
Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves.
— Jimmy Fallon
I just do what I think is funny and what's exciting to me.
— Chris Lilley
The funny thing about me is I move from genre to genre, but I essentially shoot all the movies the same way.
— James Mangold
What did you want me to do? Ask him for money?
— Mariana Zapata
Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie.
— Michelle Hodkin
It's funny to me that power comes from sitting behind a desk. It should come from spending yourself.
— Kirsty Eagar
And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me.
— Molly Ivins
Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby".
— Ronald Reagan
Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
— Janet Evanovich
