Funny Me Quotes

Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny Me

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Funny Me Quotes By Dave Grohl: It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. — Dave Grohl
Funny Me Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: If I was a mechanic and someone called If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!" — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Me Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Me Quotes By Bill Cosby: I once asked my father for a dollar I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook. — Bill Cosby
Funny Me Quotes By Don Rickles: You know what's funny to me? Attitude. You know what's funny to me? Attitude. — Don Rickles
Funny Me Quotes By Warren Buffett: I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. — Warren Buffett
Funny Me Quotes By Charlie Cochet: Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.
-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet
Funny Me Quotes By Rick Riordan: Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me! Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me! — Rick Riordan
Funny Me Quotes By Tim Vine: So this bloke says to me, "Can I So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness". — Tim Vine
Funny Me Quotes By Craig Ferguson: I've started looking at my own father a I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. — Craig Ferguson
Funny Me Quotes By Owen Wilson: I try to find a way to make I try to find a way to make it comfortable or interesting or funny to me. — Owen Wilson
Funny Me Quotes By Me: Life is like a potato. Well, at least Life is like a potato. Well, at least my life is. — Me
Funny Me Quotes By Harriet Morgan: The police are on the way to arrest The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy. — Harriet Morgan
Funny Me Quotes By James Mangold: The funny thing about me is I move The funny thing about me is I move from genre to genre, but I essentially shoot all the movies the same way. — James Mangold
Funny Me Quotes By Mariana Zapata: What did you want me to do? Ask What did you want me to do? Ask him for money? — Mariana Zapata
Funny Me Quotes By Michelle Hodkin: Your level of neuroses will only find love Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie. — Michelle Hodkin
Funny Me Quotes By Ronald Reagan: Elena, my four year old, says to me Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby". — Ronald Reagan
Funny Me Quotes By Yogi Berra: How long have you known me, Jack? And How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name. — Yogi Berra
Funny Me Quotes By Erin Dionne: If my hair was on fire and llamas If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great. — Erin Dionne
Funny Me Quotes By Henny Youngman: Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!" — Henny Youngman
Funny Me Quotes By China Mieville: I have a rule: I prefer anyone who I have a rule: I prefer anyone who doesn't try to kill me to anyone who does. I'm funny that way. — China Mieville
Funny Me Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I hate arrows. They try to tell me I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!" — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Me Quotes By Xavier Niel: It's funny how the smallest things I've done It's funny how the smallest things I've done speak the loudest about me, but I like that. — Xavier Niel
Funny Me Quotes By Jules Barnard: You're not a loser. You're almost as smart You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet. — Jules Barnard
Funny Me Quotes By Jesse Ball: I hate when I break my own rules. I hate when I break my own rules. What's the point of me being rational if I flail around like a clown? — Jesse Ball
Funny Me Quotes By Erica Jong: Allow me to put the record straight. I Allow me to put the record straight. I am forty-six and have been for some years past. — Erica Jong
Funny Me Quotes By Shannon L. Alder: I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me. — Shannon L. Alder
Funny Me Quotes By Jimi Hendrix: Purple Haze all in my brain, lately things Purple Haze all in my brain, lately things don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why. 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky. — Jimi Hendrix
Funny Me Quotes By Kresley Cole: She stretched, pulling out her earbuds, which apparently She stretched, pulling out her earbuds, which apparently in Lykae was code for 'Interogate me,' because the questions, they came a-calling. — Kresley Cole
Funny Me Quotes By Nick Thune: There's a fear that I don't think people There's a fear that I don't think people are interested in my actual opinion. I just think people are interested in me being funny. — Nick Thune
Funny Me Quotes By Nicole McKay: A brick is ... ... ... Well it's A brick is ... ... ... Well it's a bloody brick what more do you want from me? — Nicole McKay
Funny Me Quotes By Bruce McCulloch: You know, funny is this weird word for You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore. — Bruce McCulloch
Funny Me Quotes By Terry Pratchett: We all have our funny little ways. Except We all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously. — Terry Pratchett
Funny Me Quotes By Parker S. Huntington: What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off? — Parker S. Huntington
Funny Me Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I was in a convenience store, reading a I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!" — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Me Quotes By Rainbow Rowell: Sunshine gives me a headache Sunshine gives me a headache — Rainbow Rowell
Funny Me Quotes By Robyn Carr: She has to agree to have me. It She has to agree to have me. It could take some time, but I'm confident I can trick her into it. — Robyn Carr
Funny Me Quotes By Zach Galifianakis: I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me! — Zach Galifianakis
Funny Me Quotes By Mark Watson: Someone asked me recently - what would I Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife. — Mark Watson
Funny Me Quotes By Bo Burnham: If I had a dime for every time If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no. — Bo Burnham
Funny Me Quotes By Janet Evanovich: Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? — Janet Evanovich
Funny Me Quotes By Molly Ivins: And the funny thing is, I've always been And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me. — Molly Ivins
Funny Me Quotes By Cherise Sinclair: You have a gorgeous ass, and it holds You have a gorgeous ass, and it holds handprints beautifully.
Oh, well, how nice for me. — Cherise Sinclair
Funny Me Quotes By Will Smith: Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem? — Will Smith
Funny Me Quotes By Chris Lilley: I just do what I think is funny I just do what I think is funny and what's exciting to me. — Chris Lilley
Funny Me Quotes By Jimmy Fallon: Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves. — Jimmy Fallon
Funny Me Quotes By Wesley Snipes: I love being a dad, it keeps me I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material! — Wesley Snipes
Funny Me Quotes By Kirsty Eagar: It's funny to me that power comes from It's funny to me that power comes from sitting behind a desk. It should come from spending yourself. — Kirsty Eagar
Funny Me Quotes By Dylan Perry: Don't worry about Sian," Louisa said, "things will Don't worry about Sian," Louisa said, "things will get better."
"What, she'll stop hitting me?"
"No, but you'll stop bruising so easily. — Dylan Perry
Funny Me Quotes By Billy Joe Shaver: The Devil made me do it the first The Devil made me do it the first time -
the second time I done it on my own — Billy Joe Shaver
Funny Me Quotes By Wendelin Van Draanen: You want me to be a man,older than You want me to be a man,older than you, who goes by the name of Roullard. — Wendelin Van Draanen
Funny Me Quotes By Morrissey: It is a fact that even warming moments It is a fact that even warming moments overwhelm me with despair, and this is why I am I. — Morrissey
Funny Me Quotes By Pippa Evans: I don't know if I was funny as I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing. — Pippa Evans
Funny Me Quotes By Jim Carrey: Don't you just hate it, when you are Don't you just hate it, when you are in bed with three beautiful women, and the least attractive one whispers: save it for me! — Jim Carrey
Funny Me Quotes By Stephenie Meyer: I can do this, I lied to myself I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me. — Stephenie Meyer
Funny Me Quotes By Elizabeth Little: And I'd be damned if I let the And I'd be damned if I let the first photograph of me in ten years be taken on fucking Amtrak. I mean, the light alone. — Elizabeth Little
Funny Me Quotes By Ilona Andrews: Maybe you should make me a list of Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. — Ilona Andrews
Funny Me Quotes By Casey Wilson: Posturing is funny to me. Posturing is funny to me. — Casey Wilson
Funny Me Quotes By Chris Rock: I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!' — Chris Rock
Funny Me Quotes By Amanda Hocking: I love it when you talk clean to I love it when you talk clean to me, quoting training manuals like sonnets. — Amanda Hocking
Funny Me Quotes By Dylan Moran: I have tried ... believe me, I have I have tried ... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies. — Dylan Moran
Funny Me Quotes By Max Wright: You amaze me. You're 229 years old and You amaze me. You're 229 years old and that's what you think is funny. — Max Wright
Funny Me Quotes By Nalini Singh: Somehow the idea of Montgomery as a fairy Somehow the idea of Montgomery as a fairy doesn't have the same effect on me as it appears to have on you.
-Raphael — Nalini Singh
Funny Me Quotes By Hannah Harrington: Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? — Hannah Harrington
Funny Me Quotes By Katt Williams: America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait. — Katt Williams
Funny Me Quotes By Bill Burr: To me this is not yelling. I am To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again. — Bill Burr
Funny Me Quotes By Mary Calmes: Don't fuck with me. I don't like it Don't fuck with me. I don't like it and I know your mother.
Jory to a Handsy-Hayes Fischer — Mary Calmes
Funny Me Quotes By Luke Treadaway: This morning someone sent me a very funny This morning someone sent me a very funny photo of me holding their puppy. We have matching colour jackets. — Luke Treadaway
Funny Me Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do? — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Funny Me Quotes By Zsa Zsa Gabor: He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. — Zsa Zsa Gabor