Funny Me Quotes

Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny Me

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Funny Me Quotes By Amanda Hocking: I tended to hate people that hit me I tended to hate people that hit me in the head without warning. Amanda Hocking
Funny Me Quotes By Pauly Shore: Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me. I was just inherently funny when I was a kid. Pauly Shore
Funny Me Quotes By Victoria Aveyard: Shocked to see me?" I drawl at them, Shocked to see me?" I drawl at them, chuckling at the horrific joke. Victoria Aveyard
Funny Me Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: Onions make me sad. A lot of people Onions make me sad. A lot of people don't realize that. Mitch Hedberg
Funny Me Quotes By Cassandra Clare: It wasn't funny for Bill Herondale!" said Magnus. It wasn't funny for Bill Herondale!" said Magnus. "Oh, damn it. Now you've got me doing it. Cassandra Clare
Funny Me Quotes By Dave Grohl: It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. — Dave Grohl
Funny Me Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: If I was a mechanic and someone called If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!" — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Me Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Me Quotes By Bill Cosby: I once asked my father for a dollar I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook. — Bill Cosby
Funny Me Quotes By Don Rickles: You know what's funny to me? Attitude. You know what's funny to me? Attitude. — Don Rickles
Funny Me Quotes By Warren Buffett: I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. — Warren Buffett
Funny Me Quotes By Charlie Cochet: Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you Your pupils are dilated. Does that mean you want to fuck me or eat me? Because I might have a problem with one of those.
-Dex to Sloane — Charlie Cochet
Funny Me Quotes By Rick Riordan: Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me! Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me! — Rick Riordan
Funny Me Quotes By Tim Vine: So this bloke says to me, "Can I So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness". — Tim Vine
Funny Me Quotes By Craig Ferguson: I've started looking at my own father a I've started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman. — Craig Ferguson
Funny Me Quotes By Owen Wilson: I try to find a way to make I try to find a way to make it comfortable or interesting or funny to me. — Owen Wilson
Funny Me Quotes By Me: Life is like a potato. Well, at least Life is like a potato. Well, at least my life is. — Me
Funny Me Quotes By Harriet Morgan: The police are on the way to arrest The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy. — Harriet Morgan
Funny Me Quotes By James Mangold: The funny thing about me is I move The funny thing about me is I move from genre to genre, but I essentially shoot all the movies the same way. — James Mangold
Funny Me Quotes By Mariana Zapata: What did you want me to do? Ask What did you want me to do? Ask him for money? — Mariana Zapata
Funny Me Quotes By Michelle Hodkin: Your level of neuroses will only find love Your level of neuroses will only find love in a made-for-TV movie. — Michelle Hodkin
Funny Me Quotes By Ronald Reagan: Elena, my four year old, says to me Elena, my four year old, says to me in all seriousness; "Mommy, you need to buy another baby". — Ronald Reagan
Funny Me Quotes By Yogi Berra: How long have you known me, Jack? And How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don't know how to spell my name. — Yogi Berra
Funny Me Quotes By Erin Dionne: If my hair was on fire and llamas If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great. — Erin Dionne
Funny Me Quotes By Henny Youngman: Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!" — Henny Youngman
Funny Me Quotes By China Mieville: I have a rule: I prefer anyone who I have a rule: I prefer anyone who doesn't try to kill me to anyone who does. I'm funny that way. — China Mieville
Funny Me Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I hate arrows. They try to tell me I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!" — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Me Quotes By Xavier Niel: It's funny how the smallest things I've done It's funny how the smallest things I've done speak the loudest about me, but I like that. — Xavier Niel
Funny Me Quotes By Jules Barnard: You're not a loser. You're almost as smart You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet. — Jules Barnard
Funny Me Quotes By Jesse Ball: I hate when I break my own rules. I hate when I break my own rules. What's the point of me being rational if I flail around like a clown? — Jesse Ball
Funny Me Quotes By Erica Jong: Allow me to put the record straight. I Allow me to put the record straight. I am forty-six and have been for some years past. — Erica Jong
Funny Me Quotes By Shannon L. Alder: I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me. — Shannon L. Alder
Funny Me Quotes By Jimi Hendrix: Purple Haze all in my brain, lately things Purple Haze all in my brain, lately things don't seem the same. Actin' funny but I don't know why. 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky. — Jimi Hendrix
Funny Me Quotes By Kresley Cole: She stretched, pulling out her earbuds, which apparently She stretched, pulling out her earbuds, which apparently in Lykae was code for 'Interogate me,' because the questions, they came a-calling. — Kresley Cole
Funny Me Quotes By Nick Thune: There's a fear that I don't think people There's a fear that I don't think people are interested in my actual opinion. I just think people are interested in me being funny. — Nick Thune
Funny Me Quotes By Nicole McKay: A brick is ... ... ... Well it's A brick is ... ... ... Well it's a bloody brick what more do you want from me? — Nicole McKay
Funny Me Quotes By Bruce McCulloch: You know, funny is this weird word for You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore. — Bruce McCulloch
Funny Me Quotes By Terry Pratchett: We all have our funny little ways. Except We all have our funny little ways. Except me, obviously. — Terry Pratchett
Funny Me Quotes By Parker S. Huntington: What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off? — Parker S. Huntington
Funny Me Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I was in a convenience store, reading a I was in a convenience store, reading a magazine. The clerk told me, "this is not a library!" "OK! I will talk louder, then!" — Mitch Hedberg
Funny Me Quotes By Rainbow Rowell: Sunshine gives me a headache Sunshine gives me a headache — Rainbow Rowell
Funny Me Quotes By Robyn Carr: She has to agree to have me. It She has to agree to have me. It could take some time, but I'm confident I can trick her into it. — Robyn Carr
Funny Me Quotes By Zach Galifianakis: I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that I'm writing a book about Siamese Twins that are attached at the nose. It's called: Stop Staring at Me! — Zach Galifianakis
Funny Me Quotes By Mark Watson: Someone asked me recently - what would I Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife. — Mark Watson
Funny Me Quotes By Bo Burnham: If I had a dime for every time If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no. — Bo Burnham
Funny Me Quotes By Janet Evanovich: Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart? — Janet Evanovich
Funny Me Quotes By Molly Ivins: And the funny thing is, I've always been And the funny thing is, I've always been an optimist - it's practically a congenital disorder with me. — Molly Ivins
Funny Me Quotes By Cherise Sinclair: You have a gorgeous ass, and it holds You have a gorgeous ass, and it holds handprints beautifully.
Oh, well, how nice for me. — Cherise Sinclair
Funny Me Quotes By Will Smith: Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't driving around on a bus and having a campfire kind of adding to the environment problem? — Will Smith
Funny Me Quotes By Chris Lilley: I just do what I think is funny I just do what I think is funny and what's exciting to me. — Chris Lilley
Funny Me Quotes By Jimmy Fallon: Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves. — Jimmy Fallon
Funny Me Quotes By Wesley Snipes: I love being a dad, it keeps me I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material! — Wesley Snipes
Funny Me Quotes By Kirsty Eagar: It's funny to me that power comes from It's funny to me that power comes from sitting behind a desk. It should come from spending yourself. — Kirsty Eagar
Funny Me Quotes By Dylan Perry: Don't worry about Sian," Louisa said, "things will Don't worry about Sian," Louisa said, "things will get better."
"What, she'll stop hitting me?"
"No, but you'll stop bruising so easily. — Dylan Perry
Funny Me Quotes By Billy Joe Shaver: The Devil made me do it the first The Devil made me do it the first time -
the second time I done it on my own — Billy Joe Shaver
Funny Me Quotes By Wendelin Van Draanen: You want me to be a man,older than You want me to be a man,older than you, who goes by the name of Roullard. — Wendelin Van Draanen
Funny Me Quotes By Morrissey: It is a fact that even warming moments It is a fact that even warming moments overwhelm me with despair, and this is why I am I. — Morrissey
Funny Me Quotes By Pippa Evans: I don't know if I was funny as I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing. — Pippa Evans
Funny Me Quotes By Jim Carrey: Don't you just hate it, when you are Don't you just hate it, when you are in bed with three beautiful women, and the least attractive one whispers: save it for me! — Jim Carrey
Funny Me Quotes By Stephenie Meyer: I can do this, I lied to myself I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me. — Stephenie Meyer
Funny Me Quotes By Elizabeth Little: And I'd be damned if I let the And I'd be damned if I let the first photograph of me in ten years be taken on fucking Amtrak. I mean, the light alone. — Elizabeth Little
Funny Me Quotes By Ilona Andrews: Maybe you should make me a list of Maybe you should make me a list of people I can kill and ways in which they're allowed to die," he said. "You are not funny." "I'm very funny. — Ilona Andrews
Funny Me Quotes By Casey Wilson: Posturing is funny to me. Posturing is funny to me. — Casey Wilson
Funny Me Quotes By Chris Rock: I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!' — Chris Rock
Funny Me Quotes By Amanda Hocking: I love it when you talk clean to I love it when you talk clean to me, quoting training manuals like sonnets. — Amanda Hocking
Funny Me Quotes By Dylan Moran: I have tried ... believe me, I have I have tried ... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies. — Dylan Moran
Funny Me Quotes By Max Wright: You amaze me. You're 229 years old and You amaze me. You're 229 years old and that's what you think is funny. — Max Wright
Funny Me Quotes By Nalini Singh: Somehow the idea of Montgomery as a fairy Somehow the idea of Montgomery as a fairy doesn't have the same effect on me as it appears to have on you.
-Raphael — Nalini Singh
Funny Me Quotes By Hannah Harrington: Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? — Hannah Harrington
Funny Me Quotes By Katt Williams: America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me America is a bunch o' bullies. Tell me what the Iraq uniform is like. Don't worry, I'll wait. — Katt Williams
Funny Me Quotes By Bill Burr: To me this is not yelling. I am To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again. — Bill Burr
Funny Me Quotes By Mary Calmes: Don't fuck with me. I don't like it Don't fuck with me. I don't like it and I know your mother.
Jory to a Handsy-Hayes Fischer — Mary Calmes
Funny Me Quotes By Luke Treadaway: This morning someone sent me a very funny This morning someone sent me a very funny photo of me holding their puppy. We have matching colour jackets. — Luke Treadaway
Funny Me Quotes By Sherrilyn Kenyon: Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do? — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Funny Me Quotes By Zsa Zsa Gabor: He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. — Zsa Zsa Gabor