Funny King Quotes: top 47 famous quotes about Funny King

Funny King Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny King quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

It's like the old pie-in-the-face routine: it stops being funny when it starts being you. — Stephen King

When I am king, I will revise the sexual bases system so that getting to first base will include oral sex and sodomy! — Adam Carolla

God turned out to be a bunch of bad little kids playing interstellar Xbox. Isn't that funny? — Stephen King

August in Kansas City is hotter than two rats f**king in a sock. — Ichiro Suzuki

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. — Adelle Davis

Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen ... Treat me like a queen and off with your head — Josh Stern

It's funny how all the fussing and fighting turns into us f-king and flying. — Wiz Khalifa

Oh baby", Madoc groaned to the girl next to him. "Snickers ain't the only thing king sized. — Penelope Douglas

So, funny story. There are fairies? In the Dark Woods. And I might have pissed off their king."
There was silence. Then, "Of course you did. — T.J. Klune

Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing. — Elle King

After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points. — Stacey King

Our problems started in Dallas, when the fire-breathing sheep destroyed the King Tut exhibit. — Rick Riordan

Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny. — Alan King

And who are you supposed to be? the King of snot-nosed delinquents? — Michael Buckley

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!" — Henny Youngman

Like all great adventures, this one started with someone trying to get laid. King Menelaus didn't go to Troy for the baklava. — Mark Leiren-Young

For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two. — Ray Romano

She's around here somewhere. Check your pockets. She could be there. Sometimes she falls into these cracks between the floorboards. — Maggie Stiefvater

Isn't it funny how we live inside the lies we believe? — A.S. King

What your mind sees when you close your eyes marks the entrance to an endless universe: your imagination. — Stephen Helmes

It's funny how close the past is, sometimes. Sometimes it seems as if you could almost reach out and touch it. Only who really wants to? — Stephen King

To the stupidity of men, " Dakota said, raising a glass. "And my brother, who is their king. — Susan Mallery

I love funny women. I love writing funny women characters. — Michael Patrick King

Plagiarism is not only wrong, it's spelled funny, okay. — Pepe The King Prawn

Thou mayest choose an helpmeet," said the King to me.
An helpmeet? What the great googly-moogly was that? — Michael Darling

If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny. — Alan King

Shit. The mind gets up to funny tricks, doesn't it? Shadows grow faces. — Stephen King

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses. — Stephen King

Anyone who thinks impressions of old movie actors is funny absolutely cannot be trusted. I think it's like a law of nature. — Stephen King

PRECOGNITION, TELEPATHY, BULLSHIT! EAT MY DONG, YOU EXTRASENSORY TURKEY! — Stephen King

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom. — Alan King

Nevertheless, he was already a sick man. He had gotten more than gas at Bill Hapscomb's Texaco. And he gave Harry Trent more than a speeding summons. — Stephen King

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself." — Johnny Carson

Four young men in motorcycle jackets... set upon the man in khaki shorts and beat him unconscious with his own sandwich board. — Stephen King

But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set. — Jaime King

Do you really think cards can tell us future??
No matter how you spread the cards but queen is always king ones..!! — Nikhil

I used to laugh at that old wheeze about a man wanting his son to be better than he was, but as I get older it seems less funny and more true. — Stephen King

If you drop your Kindle in the toilet, you're done. — Stephen King

I am, he thought dimly, watching a vampire take a piss. — Stephen King

It's funny that until I actually met my husband, I never thought I'd get married. — Regina King

You ought to sue that son of a whore — Stephen King

How much did bro tell you?"
"Bro?"
"The White King. — Samantha Young

The phone beeped - M fine but these two guys R on me like cougars on Adam Lambert. — Elisabeth Staab

A dimwit thinks nothing is funny unless it's mean. — Stephen King

You worked for Harry King, they said, because a broken leg was bad for business, and Harry King was all about business. — Terry Pratchett

Who's to say where funny stops and 'too far' starts? — Michael Patrick King

Andy and Terry went into the kitchen to serve out the Neapolitan (which we called van-choc-straw . . . funny how it all — Stephen King