Funny Kids Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Kids quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I was an altar boy as a kid. And the answer is no. —
Mike Birbiglia

What I would do in order to be popular was, I'd put myself on line and joke around and be funny, and I was always known as the crazy kid. —
Leonardo DiCaprio

When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him. —
Noel Fielding

I wish there were jokes in the cat world," Buddy sighed. "Want to try to one? Let's think of a prank we can pull on the boys. —
Gretchen Preston

I have 4 kids already, I don't need anymore. I'm a single parent. I'm taking them through Europe and make them play funny instruments. —
Ville Valo

Don't cross me Scooby-Doo. I'm not an old man in a mask waiting to be thwarted by you meddling kids. —
Sherrilyn Kenyon

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. —
Ben Berger

I think it's always funny when you see kids do Shakespeare. —
Steve Coogan

I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe. —
Ricky Schroder

There are just so many
funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are. —
Vanessa Bayer

My cousin is gay, in school while other kids were dissecting frog, he was opening flies. —
Rodney Dangerfield

Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart condition? —
Phil Silvers

Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny. —
Lewis Black

Some people won't have kids, but I'm not going to have parents. I'm burning their birth certificates and defacing their gravestones tonight. —
Bauvard

I love my brothers' kids. It's funny - as an uncle, you become so protective of them. —
Liam Hemsworth

So you do read the papers. Usually kids your age need a bomb up their backsides, but it's good to see you've got your wits about you. —
Cecelia Ahern

while there's a lot that I don't know about the world, I do know that kids have a funny way of helping you keep things in perspective. —
Nicholas Sparks

I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me. —
Andre Dawson

All I want is for my kids to have a good sense of humour. They don't have to be funny, just need to be able to recognise how hilarious I am. —
Ade Bozzay

When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me. —
Noel Fielding

I was a hop-around. I hung out with the rockabilly crew, the guys who were trying to be rappers, the
funny kids. —
Katy Perry

So all my friends have kids now ... which I think is rude. —
David Cross

Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. —
Michael Gambon

On his teenage son: To be honest, I'm not sure the same kid comes home each night. —
John Bishop

There's nothing more contagious than the laughter of young children; it doesn't even have to matter what they're laughing about. —
Criss Jami

I know what dissipate means, Arty. I'm not three, for heaven's sake. —
Eoin Colfer

Like I said before, kids were okay from a distance, but I didn't think they'd ever replace hamsters. —
Janet Evanovich

What did you want me to do? Ask him for money? —
Mariana Zapata

If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail! —
Chris Rock

Running a ball club is like raising kids who fall out of trees. —
Tom Trebelhorn

Mama!' Rosie tugged on my shirt. 'This broccoli is tasty and wonderful'. —
Curtis Sittenfeld

Sounds like you kids have some talking to do. I'll be eavesdropping from the kitchen. —
Jill Shalvis

I used to binge-eat and make myself throw up. I was a fat kid. Obviously I didn't quite master the bulimia. —
Russell Brand

Data is your Beta... —
Kshitij Bhatia

I know how to make adults laugh pretty well. I don't know if kids think I'm that funny. —
Tom Bodett

You're nasty and you're loud,
you're mean enough for two,
If I could be a cloud,
I'd rain all day on you. —
Jack Prelutsky

Ya back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid, well that and fagot. —
Bo Burnham

I happen to be very good with younger actors because I have extremely vivid memories of that time of my life, and kids are just funny. —
David M. Evans

I love kids; I think they are fun and funny. —
Courtney Thorne-Smith

I knew comedy was the thing for me when I was the only Asian kid in high school ... who failed math. —
Dat Phan

everything is negotiable. everything. —
Kay M. Rutherford

Kids like my act because I'm wearing nose glasses. Adults like my act because there's a guy who thinks putting on nose glasses is funny. —
Steve Martin

I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore! —
Mike Birbiglia

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear. —
Amy Schumer

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes. —
Rodney Dangerfield

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat? —
Carroll Bryant

The 'Billionaire' song is what my kids tease me with. They sing it to me. It's funny. —
Bill Gates

It's funny, there are so many women who are former executives and have taken all that stress and anxiety and transferred it onto their kids. —
Ana Gasteyer

I never knew what an engineer did for a living when I was a kid. I still don't. —
Scott Adams

The thing about being a screenwriter, scriptwriter, scenarist, You get to have multiple personalities and not be charged. —
Andrea L'Artiste

The thing I don't get about paedophilia ... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy? —
Frankie Boyle

I get paid for what most kids get punished for. —
Jerry Lewis

When I was a kid we were so poor, if I hadn't been a boy I wouldn't have had anything to play with. —
Rodney Dangerfield

The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it. —
Dick Armey

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital. —
Anthony Jeselnik

What are you boys doing?" she asks, as if we're still little kids messing around.
"Arguin'," Carlos says matter-of-factly. —
Simone Elkeles

When I play discos in Belfast or freshers' week in Oxford, there are 1,800 kids dressed as me. It's odd, it's funny, and it pays really well. —
David Hasselhoff

The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net. —
Russell Howard

Ms. Fang is the nicest, sweetest teacher at Scary School. She only ate twelve kids last year. —
Derek The Ghost

That's the funny thing about havin' a kid. They come with their own set of problems; make everything else you were worried about seem kinda silly. —
Greg Garcia

In Italy, I had an Afro, and a lot of the kids came up and felt my hair. It really was funny. I wish I had understood Italian. —
Sugar Ray Leonard

When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining. —
Gabriel Iglesias

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands ... that can do your brain. —
Ivan Stoikov

You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D's in school. Well guess what, I get F's!!! —
Bill Watterson

Mostly good is enough. Mostly good produces healthy kids who know they are valued and either forget the other parts or turn them into funny stories. —
Jen Hatmaker

Kids are funny. You have to watch what you're doing. —
Jerome David Salinger

Can I brush your hair? she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can't live with 'em. Can't eat 'em for lunch. —
Darynda Jones

I've got kids and that's important. It's funny, you think that there's an expiration date on them and there just isn't. —
Bill Murray

I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses. Or two dumpsters. —
Mitch Hedberg

I thought she liked you now. I've seen her kiss you and she says your name the special way she says Rina's and mine - like it tastes good. —
Deborah Hale