Funny K Quotes: top 92 famous quotes about Funny K

Funny K Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny K quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Don't put your wand there, boy! ... Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know! — J.K. Rowling

If my name was on a serious work like this it would never get fair treatment. They would all say I had tried to be funny and failed. — Jerome K. Jerome

You saved Dad's life. If anyone's got the right to eavesdrop on him, it's you. — J.K. Rowling

Their vaginas were just ships passing in the night, stopping to pick up every dirty sailor. — K.F. Germaine

But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards. — J.K. Rowling

You can't kill us all, human.'
He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. 'True, but who's going to be first in line? — Laurell K. Hamilton

He's wearing flannel!" Alan yelped. "He's shoving his straight in my face! — K.D. Sarge

I have a funny process : it's called procrastination. — K. K. Barrett

It's funny. That feeling of home. It's so temporary, like bathwater: the warmth eventually grows cold. — K.M. Alexander

Mia bows dramatically. Welcome, kind Sir. Princess Mia has been awaiting your presence. — K.A. Tucker

Fuck it ... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man. — Louis C.K.

Funny how so many rookies out there still judge condition of the US economy on the rigged "stock market". I frankly find it hilarious. — Ziad K. Abdelnour

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool. — Gilbert K. Chesterton

Everything's amazing right now, and nobody's happy. — Louis C.K.

Sorry - Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someone's getting hurt. — Louis C.K.

Being fed, and having a soft bed, and other people being in charge, seemed the most wonderful prospect in the world at that moment. — J.K. Rowling

I am like a dead begonia hanging upside down because like a dead begonia I don't give a f**k. — David Levithan

At the end to death I must go,
Finishing a real tragic and funny show. — Mohit K. Misra

I expect what you're not aware of would fill several books, Dursely. — J.K. Rowling

Yer a wizard, Harry! — J.K. Rowling

Funny way to get to a wizards' school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures, have they? — J.K. Rowling

That thing has a name? — J.K. Rowling

Someone wanted to choke me to death on my own hair? — K.J. Charles

Well, robots are, of course, the monkey's natural enemy. — Brian K. Vaughan

But as an escort it's our duty to hold their attention and play with their heads. The one between their ears and the one in their pants. — S.K. Logsdon

I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first! — J.K. Rowling

Knocking the shrieking goblins aside like skittles — J.K. Rowling

Uncle Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on. — J.K. Rowling

Wow, we're identical! — J.K. Rowling

Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me? — J.K. Rowling

IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU, HARRY! — J.K. Rowling

He balled his hand into a fist. "You are such a bitch." "Woof, woof," I said. — Laurell K. Hamilton

There was a lot more to magic, as Harry quickly found out, than waving your wand and saying a few funny words. — J.K. Rowling

My favorite people are the ones that can make any unfunny joke hilarious by just laughing. — Ziad K. Abdelnour

"vers libre," (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture. — G.K. Chesterton

We had 1 book, the phone book, I've read it, it wasn't a great read, lots of characters, and on the end loads of polish people turn up. — Stephen K. Amos

There, at her console, he dialed 594: pleased acknowledgement of husband's superior wisdom in all matters — Philip K. Dick

You can call me Grandpa, if that does it for you. — R.K. Lilley

Every man is important if he loses his life;and every man is funny if he loses his hat and has to run after it. — Gilbert K. Chesterton

Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughed ... into my mouth. — Louis C.K.

I don't believe in magic. — J.K. Rowling

Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned. — Laurell K. Hamilton

He will not let you come barging in to his world like the proverbial bull in the china shop. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Miss Green can call a turd a rose if she wants, but that don't mean people's going to be lining up to smell it. — K. Martin Beckner

I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' — Louis C.K.

Zebrowski says that if you killed someone else just hide the body, he's not starting over on the paperwork. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! — J.K. Rowling

Life is funny like that, making us pay for the same stupid mistakes even after we've learned from them thoroughly. — R.K. Lilley

I don't have a master. I'm not sure if I have an equal. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Gimme an S! A T! An O! A C! Followed by a K-H-O-L-M! What's it spell? HEAD FUCK.
- Jane — J.R. Ward

N-O-W-A-C-K."
"No C."
"Oh. Okay. N-O-W-A-C. — Marshall Thornton

Before I could say anything, Jamie began writing giant letters over the words with his index finger.
F-U-C-K Y-O-U.
My sentiments exactly. — Michelle Hodkin

Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am
-Luna Lovegood — J.K. Rowling

Boys do suck the brains out of smart girls. — K.A. Tucker

Funny thing, employment. If you keep doing it, you keep getting paid. — N.K. Jemisin

That's got to be a ten blowjob movie, at least. — K.C. Burn

Divination is turning out to be much more trouble than I could have foreseen, never having studied the subject myself. — J.K. Rowling

At least my happiness doesn't depend on Ron's goalkeeping ability. — J.K. Rowling

Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts. — J.K. Rowling

There had to be a circle of Hell where you were eternally fourteen, eternally in junior high. One of the lower circles. — Laurell K. Hamilton

I can't believe I've missed this sport. It's all about fingering holes and caressing balls. — K.A. Mitchell

I look like a biker slut from hell meets soldier of fortune pinup. — Laurell K. Hamilton

Chizpurfle infestations explain the puzzling failure of many relatively new Muggle electrical artifacts. — J.K. Rowling

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December. — Louis C.K.

Kate giggled. "Excellent choice."
"I always make excellent choices."
"I don't know about that."
"Of course I do. I picked ye, didn't I? — Whitney K.E.

Sometimes charm can make a person blind to truth ... look at Ted Bundy. — Shelley K. Wall

Okay. Take a peek, but I swear if you try anything funny, I'll beat your head in with my flashlight. — Shannon K. Butcher

I often arrive at quite sensible ideas and judgements, on the spur of the moment. It is when I stop to think that I become foolish. — Jerome K. Jerome

Mental illness is not funny. — Philip K. Dick

Funny how the U.S. sends in the military to fight "terrorists" in any country which has resources we want ... — Ziad K. Abdelnour

I don't have sex drive ... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'. — Louis C.K.

It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen. — Philip K. Dick

Oh, doctor. I think I'm sick I need some penis-cilin. I fake cough again into my hand. — S.K. Logsdon

So does that mean if you won't fuck me because I'm high, I could fuck you because you're not? — K.A. Mitchell

Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two. — Louis C.K.

Whenever I'm in the U.K., people say I have an American accent. Which is, obviously, funny. — Zedd

One more lesson like that and I might just do a Weasley. — J.K. Rowling

Did anyone wonder if someone hit his head for him? — K.J. Charles

I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing. — Louis C.K.

Just at present you only see the tree by the light of the lamp. I wonder when you would ever see the lamp by the light of the tree. — G.K. Chesterton

Brooke?" he finally found the sense to ask. "What are you doing here?"
"I need a gun."
This was not how his dream was supposed to go. — Shannon K. Butcher

You just wanted to walk in front of me so I'd have to stare at your butt — Laurell K. Hamilton

Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt. — S.K. Tremayne

Loretta started belting out a song: "Row, row, row your boat, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G ! — Joel N. Ross

All men are tragic ... All men are comic ... Every man is important if he loses his life; and every man is funny if he loses his hat. — G.K. Chesterton

Never trust people who smile constantly. They're either selling something or not very bright. — Laurell K. Hamilton

You've been popping into the fire every hour?' Harry said, half laughing.
'Just for a few seconds to check if the coast was clear. — J.K. Rowling

Religion is funny stuff, and it has unpredictable effects on those who use it. — Richard K. Morgan

That's the funny thing about life...you don't know you're missing something. Then when you get it, you don't know what you'd do without it. — D.K. Hamilton

I should stalk over there and pee around his table to stake my claim. Wait ... what? Jeez, Kacey. — K.A. Tucker

...and yes that was meant to be interpreted in a sarcastic bubblegum tone complete with clapping and jazz hands. — K.R. Grace

Sukhvinder wished that she could be more like Krystal: funny and tough; impossible to intimidate; always coming out fighting. — J.K. Rowling