Funny Josh Quotes: top 37 famous quotes about Funny Josh

Funny Josh Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Josh quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert — Josh Stern

Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen ... Treat me like a queen and off with your head — Josh Stern

Come Hell or High Water usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub — Josh Stern

I'd die for your sins, but I'd probably enjoy them first — Josh Stern

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. — Josh Billings

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other. — Josh Billings

That's the easiest job you can have in TV comedy, being the guy who just delivers the funny. — Josh McDermitt

I've done all the dumping, which is not a good thing. It's funny, because I married someone who has always done it as well. I believe I met my match. — Josh Holloway

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs — Josh Stern

I was surprised he didn't just spit the nails into the wood like Popeye the Sailor Man. — Josh Lanyon

Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle — Josh Stern

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society — Josh Stern

There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius — Josh Stern

You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so. — Josh Billings

it can't be wrong, if it feels so wrong — Josh Stern

You know, If you weren't tiny, cute and remarkably innocent looking I'd be running away right now. This feels like the set-up to some torture porn. — Stephanie Perkins

If you don't fall down now and again, it just means the training wheels are working — Josh Stern

We have North Shore, Hawaii and Lost all there, so they have softball tournaments between the casts. It's hilarious. — Josh Holloway

I like gross generalizations ... I also like disgusting specifics! — Josh Stern

Jake fried up the fish, cooked rice with garlic, cilantro and green onions. Someday he was going to make some woman a wonderful wife. — Josh Lanyon

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings

You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order — Josh Stern

It's funny, but we were living on this small island off the coast of Charleston, South Carolina when I was 9. — Josh Lucas

There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident — Josh Stern

If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried — Josh Stern

Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything ... .but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco — Josh Stern

Dear Josh, we stopped by to fuck you but you didn't answer the door. Therefore you are gay.
Sincerely, Tiffany and Amber. — Daniel Clowes

Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it — Josh Stern

If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels ... — Josh Stern

If you see the light at the end
of the tunnel, you're looking
through binoculars the wrong
way — Josh Stern

Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows — Josh Stern

If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months — Josh Stern

It's not hard to fail ... it's hard to accept you failed ... but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing — Josh Stern

When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service ... .that's no chocolate on the pillow — Josh Stern

Ever play 'mirror mirror on the wall' with two mirrors facing each other? — Josh Stern

Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends — Josh Stern

If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator — Josh Stern