Funny I Would Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny I Would
Funny I Would Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny I Would quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I can't imagine actually singing on this show like I did on 'Felicity', but it would be kind of funny.
— Amy Jo Johnson
I'm just glad you didn't die while we were gone," Brent said. "He'd be so pissed. And you know, you'd be dead. So that would suck.
— Bree Despain
One does not simply ring Roland.Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next. — Ilona Andrews
I would rather be called funny than pretty.
— Nia Vardalos
I'm gonna hump ya. Like Deputy Dog ... Would hump ya.
— Steve Coogan
I wouldn't overall say that The Diagnosis it's a funny book. I would say that it has comic moments. It's a modern tragedy.
— Alan Lightman
When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?
— Billy Connolly
I know what I would do if I were coach. I'd determine our strengths and weaknesses and utilize them. And it's pretty clear what our strength is.
— Michael Jordan
I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm ... I'm hungry actually.
— Kristen Schaal
I didn't know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it's a musical.
— Jerry Seinfeld
I think the reason I became funny was because if I made people laugh, they would let me keep talking.
— Anthony Jeselnik
I can't help thinking the failed New York bomber would've done far more damage if he'd simply driven throught Times Square in a Toyota.
— Frankie Boyle
I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place.
— Jeff Kinney
All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it.
— Carroll Bryant
I discovered that funny animal pictures - memes - would get a lot of likes and shares.
— George Takei
Do you know who I would love to play? Morticia Addams - then I could use all that darkness to be funny.
— Monica Bellucci
I hate that stuff. It tastes like feet."At that he smiled. "How would you know what feet taste like?"
"I just know. — Cassandra Clare
Now there's a girl I don't want to mess with' - or at least, that's what I would think if I had a chronic fear of freakishly nice people.
— Nenia Campbell
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
— Claude Pepper
I would like to throw an egg into an electric fan.
— Oliver Herford
Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me?
— J.K. Rowling
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
— Will Rogers
I wanted to play with death, like a child with a new toy, I wanted to push all the buttons and see what would happen.
— Holly Hood
I frequently observe that one pretty face would be followed by five and thirty frights.
— Jane Austen
So often, I read scripts and am like, 'This would never happen in real life. It's not trying to be funny. It's trying to be serious.'
— Shailene Woodley
When I was on acid, I would see things like beams of light and I would hear sounds that sounded an awful lot like car horns.
— Mitch Hedberg
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could have only one book, what would it be? I always say, How to Build a Boat.
— Stephen Wright
Would I laugh?""Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking. — Margaret Atwood
I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one.
— Frank Skinner
If you ask who I aspire to, well, if a single line of mine was as funny as P. G. Wodehouse can be, that would be great.
— Nick Harkaway
I lied. I do that, you know, when it suits me. I would have thought you'd realized that by now.
— Anne Stuart
I tried it 100 or a million times it couldn't happen again. If I could, I would have carried on playing.
— Alex Ferguson
I read that MTV's Real World got 40,000 applications. That's amazing, such an even number. You would have thought it would be 40,008.
— Mitch Hedberg
I guess I can't blame him for feeling bitter. Going from being the terror of Bulgarian nights to a janitor would kinda suck
— Kiersten White
I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.
— Art Buchwald
Just at present you only see the tree by the light of the lamp. I wonder when you would ever see the lamp by the light of the tree.
— G.K. Chesterton
I would like it if four people did a cartwheel all at once ... so I can make a cart.
— Mitch Hedberg
I would really love to do a musical, I don't know in what capacity but something funny.
— Billie Piper
Whatever would give you the idea that I'm her damn brother?
— Jeaniene Frost
I don't have a gun, but if I did, I would shoot a baby deer in the mouth and feel nothing.
— Louis C.K.
When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them.
— Ashish Chauhan
I didn't go to college, but if I did, I would've taken all my tests at a restaurant, 'cause 'The customer is always right.'
— Mitch Hedberg
I would like to do something modern and possibly funny.
— Dan Stevens
The online music magazine Pitchfork once wrote that I would collaborate with anyone for a bag of Doritos.
— David Byrne
She thinks you're stalking me.""Why the hell would I do that? I see too much of your ugly mug as it is. — Margaret Watson
Kicking a police car? Really?' Caleb shrugged. 'Car offended me. It was sitting right where I wanted to stand. What would you do?
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor ... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.
— Steve Carell
I don't think I was anything short of ecstatic when I found out 'It's Kind of a Funny Story' would be premiering in Toronto.
— Keir Gilchrist
In my prime I could have handled Michael Jordan. Of course, he would be only 12 years old.
— Jerry Sloan
I had to have a brace because I had big teeth. If I'd gone to Africa I would have got poached.
— Alan Carr
I should have known the power-hungry slave drivers at River's Edge would see my five days of freedom only as a challenge to be filled.
— Cate Tiernan
It's funny: half my films were flops, half did well. It would be terrible if I'd had only success.
— Claude Lelouch
I would say I know nothing about the music business, in a nice sort of way. I totally forgot I was in that music video. That's so funny.
— Zooey Deschanel
Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife.
— Mark Watson
When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining.
— Gabriel Iglesias
I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
— Zach Galifianakis
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.
— Sarah Silverman
I think you could take any Bruckheimer movie and do it with puppets, and it would be screamingly funny.
— Trey Parker
I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.
— Milton Jones
I would like to go fishing and catch a fish stick. That would be convenient. I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's.
— Mitch Hedberg
I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role.
— Bill Engvall
I decided I would rather have a day job and love music than to play music that made me hate it.
— David Torn
If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock."
— Mitch Hedberg
I guess it was what my friend Phoolendu at the yoga studio would call kismet. That's like fate, but much more dramatic.
— Robin Palmer
I don't think half my stuff would be funny if the audience didn't feel at least a little bit safe that it's not how I truly feel.
— Sarah Silverman
I didn't actually know what regret tasted like - but I imagined if it did have a flavor, it would be lutefisk.
— Angela N. Blount
What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless.
— Bill Bryson
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
— Henny Youngman
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
— David Letterman
He looks funny in a suit jacket, like a bear dressed up in costume for the circus. I would never tell him that, though.
— Lauren Oliver
