Funny House Quotes
Collection of top 57 famous quotes about Funny House
Funny House Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny House quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
You Sure this is it?" I said. "It looks empty.""Empty? No way, there's loads of shit in there," worm replied — Ransom Riggs
...Neferet fell smack on her butt.
— P.C. Cast
As soon as I arrive at the house, Laurie starts running, hits my chest, knocks me down, and licks my face. It's become a family ritual.
— Beverly Sills
I'm actually all for gay marriage. Just the thought of having a man around the house ...
— Daniel Tosh
I do not think, Prospero,' he said, 'that one should attribute a very high degree of reality to your house.
— John Bellairs
Do try The House by fresh new author, Susannah Mansfield, it's funny, sad and very different, you'll love the characters and the stories.
— Susannah Mansfield
The house of Lords must be the only institution in the world which is kept efficient by the persistent absenteeism of most of its members.
— Herbert Samuel, 1st Viscount Samuel
Jackson asked, "Where'd the water come from in your house?""A pipe." Then he explained to Jackson, "Water travels in pipes. — Kresley Cole
I've been thinking of installing a train in my house. It could bring me shrimp crackers from the kitchen.
— Cassandra Clare
We were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.
— Chic Murray
I can never do nothing in this house!
— George Lopez
The house had a name. The Banana House. It was carved onto a piece of sandstone above the front door. It made no sense to anyone.
— Hilary McKay
I'll get it, said Jough in his man-of-the-house voice, a full octave lower than his regular voice.
— Cuthbert Soup
I took my son to Coney island, I said "wanna go in the crazy house?", he said "save your money we'll be home soon"!
— Rodney Dangerfield
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
— Henny Youngman
If you find yourself lost in the woods, build a house. "Well, I was lost, but now I live here!"
— Mitch Hedberg
A funny thing happened to me on the way to the White House.
— Adlai Stevenson
All pomp and show." Anjali's glare at the house would've exploded bricks if she'd had superhuman powers. "A fat cow needs a big barn.
— Nicola Marsh
My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.
— Chic Murray
I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.
— Steven Wright
Sammy: "How do you comb your hair so the horns don't show?"Cain: "Don't mind her. A house just fell on her sister. — Kelly Moran
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above ... so I never have to go upstairs.
— Steven Wright
The funny thing is people won't let me pay for things. I'll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, 'Oh no, it's on the house.'
— Richard Branson
The Bible talks about building houses on sand and rock, but says nothing about a brick house built on a blanket.
— Nicole McKay
When I was growing up we didn't have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together!
— Louis Tomlinson
Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy?
— Hannah Harrington
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
When there is an old maid in the house, a watchdog is unnecessary.
— Honore De Balzac
You set fire to my house, killed my family, and ate my dog. But steal my boyfriend? That's a step too far.
— Libba Bray
I'm decorating my parents' house for Christmas ... I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!
— Lisa Lampanelli
My Scottie refused to go for a walk with a friend of the house, but she would joyously accompany any stranger who drove a car.
— Mazo De La Roche
If the retreat house was a trap, it was a very nice one.
— Elizabeth Hand
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
— Steven Wright
I will take all my rights! Can you deliver them to my house?
— Ljupka Cvetanova
I smelled barbecue before I reached the house, and that made me madder than ever, because I really love barbecue.
— Rick Riordan
I run around my house naked with heels all the time. It's so funny.
— Mary-Kate Olsen
Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder.
— Simone Elkeles
Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon!
— Dylan Moran
No man is the boss of his own house, but he can make up for it, he thinks, by making a dog play dead.
— W.C. Fields
