Funny Going Out Quotes: top 68 famous quotes about Funny Going Out

Funny Going Out Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Going Out quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

You didn't have to say it was gone. It was gone before it got outta here. It was going that fast. — Jerry Coleman

I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good. — Andy Richter

My mom's been having a hard time lately. She just found out that she has to have both of her breasts removed - if she's ever going to be good at golf. — Anthony Jeselnik

I guess the breakfast burritos are going to have some extra protein in the morning. — Jon S. Lewis

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it. — Paul Dickson

This was going to be the best cup of tea ever, even if it did look piss weak and oily. He took a gentle sip. Motherfuckers. It was coffee. — Simon Dunn

I had a fucking standing ovation going on in my goddamn pants, and it was demanding an encore. — Nenia Campbell

If I let you go are you going to hit me again?"
"What do you think?"
"Then I'm not going to let you go. — Sarah Mayberry

You think batting your lashes is going to get you out of this?"

"Of course not. You're a married man, detective. — M. Kane

He needed to gather her up, hold on to her, anything to help her stop trembling. Something was going to shake loose if she didn't. — Tara Janzen

A pope going through a faith crisis would be funny to see. — Kyle Dunnigan

I also don't trust Caribou anymore. They're out there, on the tundra, waiting ... Something's going down. I'm right about this. — Joss Whedon

When I was little, that was one thing that I was told in a vision: I was going to have my own show when I grew up. And it's going to be funny. — Roseanne Barr

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? — Dylan Moran

Funny thing about prayers. God hears them. But you just never know if, when, or how He's going to answer them. — Becky Wade

Shirley MacLaine said, You're so funny, then gave me a hug. Everything went white. I couldn't hear, I couldn't see. I thought I was going to pass out. — Lisa Kudrow

You're not going to campus. You're going out to get drunk and play with other ladies' boobies. - Kye — Krista Alasti

Henry narrowed his eyes at me. "You going somewhere?"
"Lacrosse field trip," I said. "I enjoy whacking the hell out of people with mallets. — Robin Benway

The ex-left-hander Dave Roberts will be going for Houston. — Jerry Coleman

Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth. — Rebecca Brooks

I'm going to strip my way through plumber's school. What do you think of the stage name Fine-Ass Frankie? — Rebecca Murphy

There go my people. I must find out where they are going so I can lead them. — Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin

Are you going to answer my questions, or do I have to whack you with a stick until delicious candy surprises fall out? — Molly Harper

Let me just say it out loud so we can laugh together: You're going to find Johnny Depp, take him back to Vahalal, and put him in a zoo? — Gary Ghislain

But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set. — Jaime King

It may sound funny, but I got a thrill when I was pulled into a crowd once. It was like 'How am I going to get out of this?! — Nick Carter

If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay. — Tom Hanks

Officer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the
road an hour. — Steven Wright

I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though. — Jared Polis

I am not going to say I told you so, but I did. — Nouriel Roubini

That just sounds so funny, A-list. Really, I'm a mom, and that's how I'm going to be all my life. — Angelina Jolie

If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away. — Greg Proops

Oh, Jack, look how beautiful. Jack, look how darling that monkey is.

It was like going camping with Merry Little Sunshine. — Cindy Roland Anderson

If we (Lauren and Jim) ever get married, we're just going to put helmets on, run into each other from a hundred yards, and smash together like rams — Jim Carrey

No, it's fine. I know you're late. Maybe we can talk tomorrow, but I'm going to be in and out all day."
"That's what he said," she purred. — Dannika Dark

Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I'm not going to single him out. — Alex Ferguson

I went out with this girl the other night, she wore this real slinky number ... She looked great going down the stairs. — Milton Jones

G'bye, I'm going out to play! — Shel Silverstein

Lovely, not only did the truck look like it was on its last leg, it was going to take the environment with it. — Adrienne Wilder

Get in my way again, boy, and you're going to learn that Velkan isn't the only one in this family who has fangs. Retta to Viktor — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Summer was going to kill her. Whenever Love did tell Jacorey, that was going to be some funny shit. Rain — A'Zayler

Baby, the fact that you know that's funny is going to save your whole life. — Carrie Fisher

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald

I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!" — Mitch Hedberg

If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. — Billy Wilder

We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic. — Charles Barkley

I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president. — Hillary Rodham Clinton

There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier. — Will Ferrell

If I want to act relaxed, it's going to take all my cunning, skill and concentration. — David Mitchell

Are you . . . lost?"
"Not really," she told him. "We just don't know where we're going. — Joel N. Ross

First, I'm going to teach you how to Irish Whip someone."
"Oh, that sounds kinky. I want my safeword to be peaches," I said, grinning. — Kyle Adams

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom. — Alan King

Ash is going to kick your ass, Daemon."
Daemon's grin went up a notch. "Nah, she likes my ass too much for that. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

If you drink anymore, you're going to be positively flammable. — Michaela Haze

I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me. — Stephenie Meyer

It's funny how we like labels. If I ever have a bookstore, I'm not going to put any labels on the sections. — Audrey Niffenegger

The truth of the matter was no boy I knew lived up to the fantasy I'd created from the many books I'd read, and I wasn't going to settle. — Natasha Boyd

Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? — Hannah Harrington

I'm going to need to save you."
"Excuse me? No one needs-"
"I'm saving you, so shut up and be grateful. — Kelley Armstrong

Funny how you can think that the world is ending but still believe things will work out. We always think there's going to be a happy ending somewhere. — Lorna Jane Cook

I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours. — Chris Eigeman

Anyone who thinks text messages are funny isn't going to kill himself. There isn't enough going on internally. — Nick Hornby

Back from where? you're not going out again and leaving me here are you?? Holy Hercules I sound like somebody's wife — Ruth Downie

You think you're funny! You think you're funny Cena, huh? The only pose you're going to be doing tonight is lying on your back with me on top! — Randy Orton

How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat? — Carroll Bryant

Sex when you're married is like going to the 7-Eleven: There's not much variety, but at three in the morning, it's always there. — Carol Leifer

I'm not the one going for a biology degree. I'm just a philosophy major who eats people. — Scott Westerfeld

You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name. You're not going out to see a Kevin Hot-Dog movie. — Jim Gaffigan