Funny Giving Quotes: top 44 famous quotes about Funny Giving

Funny Giving Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Giving quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea ... you never get that tea. — Jimmy Carr

I cannot give it to you, so try to watch me. — Eugene Ormandy

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. — Steven Wright

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade ... — Ron White

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it. — Steven Wright

Sometimes advises from others are more difficult to bear with than even slang. — Amit Kalantri

Spandex bodysuits, huh?" His eyes twinkled. "If that's what turns you on - I'm all for giving it a try. — J.C. Reed

He can run anytime he wants. I'm giving him the red light. — Yogi Berra

The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage. — Bob Hope

Life has a funny way of giving us answers when we haven't even asked the questions. — Jennifer Olds

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence. — Andy Borowitz

Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that. — William J. Clinton

It's a funny word, persistence. It means not giving up, but it also means just passing on through time. — Questlove

Don't try to give a funny opinion; give your opinion in a way that will be funny. — Franklyn Ajaye

Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. — Don Herold

When God gives you AIDS - and God does give you AIDS, by the way - make lemonAIDS. — Sarah Silverman

You can't make someone love you, all you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in — Caleb Followill

Therefore, you might end up, like be dead, with still having that notion of 'not giving up' in your mind. — Jay Mark D. Saga-ad

Though the funny thing about never being asked for anything is that after a while you start to feel like maybe you don't have anything worth giving. — Lev Grossman

Should women be on any pills besides birth control? We should just give them all sugar pills for everything, they're so suggestible. — Adam Carolla

Do they give Pulitzers for tweets yet? — Natasha Leggero

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there. — Ron Richards

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in. — Emo Philips

And all I know is, you've got to give me everything. Nothing less 'cause, you know I give you all of me. — Gwen Stefani

That's the best advice I can give - when you're trying to write a comedy, first write a drama, and then make it funny. — Jason Segel

And I figured you'd drive a four-hour round-trip before giving up your car to someone else — Richelle Mead

Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more. — Catullus

Living with computers gives funny ideas. — Wim Crouwel

The moment the door opened I knew an ass-kicking was inevitable. Whether I'd be giving it or receiving it was still a bit of a mystery. — Rachel Vincent

On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball. — Magic Johnson

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family. — Bruce White

Every culture has some ritual for joining two people together and making them stay that way, and ours is giving tax breaks. — Bauvard

Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all. — Jimmy Fallon

Posting dramatic charts or funny pictures is good and giving people smart reasons to believe what they already think is great. — Derek Thompson

Accents are funny. It sets me apart from the other girls doing comedy. It gives me more - how do you say? - pop-oo-laaarrrity. — Sofia Vergara

I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try. — Gabriel Iglesias

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. — Helen Gurley Brown

I have caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs. — Barbara Woodhouse

If you're tired of starting over, stop giving up. — Shia Labeouf

Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work. — Ellen DeGeneres

When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop. — Alan Perlis

But I also happen to be someone who believes in tithing
the giving of a tenth . — Ronald Reagan

I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others either give me a stiff neck or lockjaw. — Tallulah Bankhead

Operator! Give me the number for 911! — Dan Castellaneta