Funny Give Up Quotes: top 48 famous quotes about Funny Give Up

Funny Give Up Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Give Up quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

They do have these things called bookstores there. I've heard tell that if you give them money, they let you leave with a book. — Lauren Morrill

What did you think of him?" Cade asked.
"Give me some credit," Zach said. "Guy's more full of shit than a duck pond. — Christopher Farnsworth

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back. — Steven Wright

You don't have paperwork," Savitri said. "You give it all to me." "Is it done?" I asked. "As far as you know, yes," Savitri said. — John Scalzi

You need anything we're only an hour away, give or take, honey. You call. We'll help you hide the body. — Sean Michael

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it. — Steven Wright

Funny how it works out though that when you expect nothing from a person, they might just give you everything you didn't know you wanted. — Jamie Kain

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down! — Dave Chappelle

Give up your dreams; you'll accomplish more without sleep. — Bauvard

I am like a dead begonia hanging upside down because like a dead begonia I don't give a f**k. — David Levithan

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up. — Carroll Bryant

You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT! — Jeff Foxworthy

More you know, better advice you give. Less you know, more advice you give. — Gerry Geek

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam - uh, don't kiss guys.' — Adam Ferrara

Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them. — Mae West

What do you think Dimitri? Is this a good idea, Dimitri? Please give us your blessing so that we can fall down and worship you, Dimitri. — Richelle Mead

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence. — Andy Borowitz

Give me a guitar and I'll play; give me a stage and I'll perform; give me an auditorium and I'll fill it. — Eric Clapton

Whatever would give you the idea that I'm her damn brother? — Jeaniene Frost

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny. — Don Rickles

Therefore, you might end up, like be dead, with still having that notion of 'not giving up' in your mind. — Jay Mark D. Saga-ad

I'm no expert, Rock, but I don't think I have any poontang ... to give you. — Mick Foley

Well, I hope before Glenn goes, he'll come up here so we can give him a big hug and a kiss, because that's the kind of guy he is. — Jerry Coleman

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. — Helen Gurley Brown

To me, the best humor is indeed the ability to laugh at one's self. So I give myself endless opportunities to do so. — Tom Althouse

Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work. — Ellen DeGeneres

Isn't it funny the way some combinations of words can give you
almost apart from their meaning
a thrill like music? — C.S. Lewis

A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road. — Tommy Cooper

When someone says, "I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done," give him a lollipop. — Alan Perlis

If I go back home to Wittenberg, I'll lie down in a coffin and give the maggots a fat doctor to eat. — Martin Luther

Does he give you zings in your things? — Penny Reid

Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward."
"Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger

Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another. — Elizabeth Eulberg

I persuaded him to throw the dirk away; and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself. — Mark Twain

It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we even get into the episode. — Megan Follows

Oh, storms yes! Everybody, give the Lopen your spheres! I have glowing that needs to be done. — Brandon Sanderson

Someone asked me recently - what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I'm not falling for that one again, wife. — Mark Watson

On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball. — Magic Johnson

The guy had guts - I had to give him that. Later on I was hoping for a first-hand look at them. — Rob Thurman

Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred, then a thousand more. — Catullus

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back. — Zsa Zsa Gabor

When mice run, cats give chase. — Rachel Vincent

For someone so conflicted, who am I to give advice to anybody? It's such a funny, grandiose idea — Florence Welch

Oh here's an idea: let's make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine's Day. That's not weird at all. — Jimmy Fallon

I own your balls, huh !" She grinned, laughing." I'll have to remember that the nest time you give me any shit. " (El Diablo) — M. Robinson

I don't give sick days if you're playing in the snow." He's being funny, or trying to be funny. I can never tell which. — Zoe Cruz

I used to drink wine. This girl asked me, "Doesn't wine give you a headache?" "Yeah, eventually, but the first and the middle part are amazing!" — Mitch Hedberg

T's funny, but your parents can give you everything in the world, but they can't teach you what to do with it. That, you have to learn for yourself. — Amanda Carpenter