Funny Get Out Quotes: top 44 famous quotes about Funny Get Out

Funny Get Out Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Get Out quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I want to get back and figure out how we're going to make 'The Tonight Show' funny and good. — Andy Richter

I pull out my e-reader and get back to my fictional boyfriend. Lord knows he won't cheat on me. — M.D. Saperstein

Wishing he'd...get the hell out the door before I do something crazy like ask him to whip out his goober. — Stephanie McAfee

Home is where, when you go there and tell people to get out, they have to leave. — Jim Butcher

How are you doing, son?"
"If you don't get started, I'll rip out your heart and have it for breakfast."
- Michael to Solo — Gena Showalter

It's always struck me as funny that guys with scars get a reputation for being hard. It's the ones that cut them you should be looking out for, right? — Louise Welsh

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane." — Franklyn Ajaye

You think batting your lashes is going to get you out of this?"

"Of course not. You're a married man, detective. — M. Kane

C: What do you get when a giant sneezes?
Out of the way. - Marigold — Jean Ferris

Lust is the sin that gets me excited. Luckily, because I'm married, I also get really good jewelry out of it. — Heather Locklear

People sometimes say to me: "Craig, get out of my garden." — Craig Ferguson

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? — Robert Benchley

You're not going to campus. You're going out to get drunk and play with other ladies' boobies. - Kye — Krista Alasti

[Hollywood] is obviously so fake, but then comedy is this little carve-out of sincerity. I love it. I get to be funny and do this. — Ilana Glazer

It may sound funny, but I got a thrill when I was pulled into a crowd once. It was like 'How am I going to get out of this?! — Nick Carter

I always thought I was funny, but I was very sensitive, and very provocative just to get a rise out of people. — Marc Maron

When you open the elevator on the top floor of a building and the other guy doesn't get out, something is seriously wrong. — Mitch Hedberg

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair. — Tommy Cooper

I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No ... got any Snapple?' — Mike Birbiglia

A problem's nothing but an opportunity wearing a funny hat, and inside every disaster there's a triumph struggling to get out. — Tom Holt

I get a kick out of cursing people for life on Sundays. — Emily Kirby

I had no idea what time it was, but I felt boneless and it would take an act of God to get me out of this bed. Or chocolate. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

It's funny, ma'am, how sometimes you're so sarcastic but it doesn't sting."
"Because of my dimples. Dimples are a get-out-of-jail-free card — Dean Koontz

The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together. — Gene Shue

It is funny that some of must not only get our bearings but must also know all the details of the world before we venture out into it. — Jack Henry Abbott

A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out. — Henny Youngman

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're funny you will get over all of that. — Wanda Sykes

Most of the people I admire, they usually smell funny and don't get out much. It's true. Most of them are either dead or not feeling well. — Tom Waits

My computer made a funny sound the other day. Of course, I've never heard it get thrown out a window before. — Various

When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service ... .that's no chocolate on the pillow — Josh Stern

It's funny when you get married, you do find other couples to hang out with. — Jennifer Lopez

I'd sold my soul to get out of detention. — Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? 'Damn I got to get the hell out of here! What was I thinking!' — Dave Attell

Winter has come to Maui. Time to get out the plaid board shorts ... — Tom Althouse

Economists and psychologists get confused when they are asked 'out of syllabus' questions by life! — Saurabh Sharma

The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it. — Dick Armey

I get a kick out of people saying I was funny. — Dick Cavett

Dude, could you please get off my girlfriend before I beat the crap out of you ? I don't want to injure her. — Stacey Wallace Benefiel

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. — Phyllis Diller

Let come the forces of night! We will stand!"
"We will get the hell out of here is what we will do," I muttered. — Jim Butcher

You're just so lucky blood's so hard to get out of the carpet. — Lois Greiman

Sexton: I think the whole world's gone mad.
Death: Uh-uh. It's always like this. You probably just don't get out enough. — Neil Gaiman

Renko has just about had it. Pretty soon somebody will come out of the dugout with a fork and get him. — Jerry Coleman

When a woman with an iron fist tells you to get out there and clean spit off the door, you do it. Especially when the iron's hot. — Markus Zusak