Funny Down And Out Quotes: top 36 famous quotes about Funny Down And Out

Funny Down And Out Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Down And Out quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

A Polish man in a helicopter. Goes up to 800 feet. Down it comes! What happened? "It got chilly up there, so I turned off the fan!" — Henny Youngman

Happiness is sitting down to watch some slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out that he spent two weeks in a nudist colony. — Johnny Carson

Allen's Law of Civilization: It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be coming up it. — Paul Dickson

It started out as kind of a joke, and then it wasn't funny anymore because money became involved. Deep down, nothing about money is funny. — Charles Willeford

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down! — Dave Chappelle

I opened the door. He looked down at my shirt and smiled. "Funny," he said.
"Don't call my boobs funny," I answered. — John Green

I am like a dead begonia hanging upside down because like a dead begonia I don't give a f**k. — David Levithan

I think if everyone would write down the funny stories from their own childhoods, the world would be a better place. — Jeff Kinney

Zen cuts straight through the Quidditch match in progress and almost gets taken down by a Beater hurling a Nerf quaffle right at his machopartes. — Megan McCafferty

I also don't trust Caribou anymore. They're out there, on the tundra, waiting ... Something's going down. I'm right about this. — Joss Whedon

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. — Mignon McLaughlin

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things. — Joan Rivers

What do you think Dimitri? Is this a good idea, Dimitri? Please give us your blessing so that we can fall down and worship you, Dimitri. — Richelle Mead

"I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?" "Fido looks a bit weird." — Eddie Izzard

I'm not a believer in the pratfall. I don't think it's funny just to have someone fall down. — Harold Ramis

So I need to lay down some ground rules."
"Rules for the use of the ground?" He's gazing out the window. "Am I still allowed to step on it? — Eva Morgan

But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set. — Jaime King

I don't sit down to write a funny story. Every single thing I sit down to write is meant to be sad. — Lorrie Moore

He has no idea what it was like to grow up in the South, where you had to hold your head down. — Fred Allen

Brass, stay down all summer. — Eugene Ormandy

She was smart and funny and vulnerable and just so goddamned beautiful, the kind of beautiful that was worth being shot down over. — Jonathan Tropper

Life is a funny thing, the minute you think you've got everything figured out something comes along and turns it all upside down. — Zayn Malik

I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else. — Mitch Hedberg

When you're given the gift of truth, you spend a lot of time trying to tone it down because it is already offensive enough. — Shannon L. Alder

Course you can't fucking see, buddy, it's darker than a nun's virgin anus down here. — Charlie Huston

You'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on it, don't you think? — Chris Rock

There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway. — Tammy Blackwell

I hit two trees and fell down a ditch. And that was just walking from the lodge. — Bill Engvall

I love sitting down and having actual conversations. But I don't do that sound-bite, be-candidly-funny thing. — Kristen Stewart

Rally points scoring is twenty for the fastest, eighteen for the second fastest, right down to six points for the slowest fastest. — Murray Walker

Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, '20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.' — Jason Alexander

In the presence of a reader of Teilhard De Chardin I feel disarmed, nonplussed, ready to break down in tears. — Michel Houellebecq

Funny enough, every role that I have had, I try to tone down my accent or speak with better diction. — Djimon Hounsou

People are funny. They look down from all sorts of heights and then if the looking down has no effect they get unsure. — John McGahern

I had a dream about you last night ... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs. — Amy Summers

I think it's funny how life can lead you down certain paths which you wouldn't have taken otherwise. — Giovanna Fletcher