Funny Black Quotes: top 77 famous quotes about Funny Black

Funny Black Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Black quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest. — Lewis Black

Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out. — Tim Vine

When you go to a bar that has a black light, everybody looks cool. Except for me, because I was under the impression that the mustard stain came out. — Mitch Hedberg

If I wanted to be bored by 6,000 pages of unreadable dreck, I'd read War and Peace four times. — Lewis Black

The United States has a system of taxation by confession — Hugo Black

Being a black woman, there's so many different sides of us. We are funny, silly, romantic, professional, smart, and we have good jobs. — Lauren London

Oh, hey, kettle, I'm pot and wow, you're black." - Owen — Olivia Cunning

I had explained that a woman's asking for equality in the church would be comparable to a black person's demanding equality in the Ku Klux Klan — Mary Daly

Radical Edwards's profile? He's a seven-foot tall ex-basketball pro hindu guru drag-queen alien.
-Jet Black, from the Cowboy Bebop anime script — Keiko Nobumoto

I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it. — Milton Jones

You realize the bad guy isn't wearing a black cape or easy to spot; he's funny, makes you laugh, and has perfect hair. — Taylor Swift

This is Sailor Supergirl," George says. "She knows all about black holes. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

He says black, I say white and we do grey — Lazaro Hernandez

Who's your daddy?'
Myrnin stared at him as if he'd gone completely mental. 'Excuse me? — Rachel Caine

All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals. — Rita Rudner

Have you heard his new song? 'Cause he thinks he's a black man now. — Natasha Leggero

Your welcome means more to me, Ivy Alisha Tamwood, than a thousand souls. Watching Rachel work is a wonder of one catastrophe after another. — Kim Harrison

The Black Pit of Despair is temporarily closed for renovations. We apologize for any inconvenience. — David C. Holley

Wasn't Winston Churchill the first black president of America? There's a statue of him near me ... that's black ... — Danielle O'Hara

I know how to be funny to black audiences. — Brandon T. Jackson

Just relax and breathe through your ass. — Lewis Black

It needs to said that Gerard Brennan's The Point is terrific. Scorchingly funny, black humour at its finest and the most inventive car theft ever! — Arlene Hunt

You've been all black and white, like Kansas. It's time to get back to Oz. Enjoy the colors. — Kaje Harper

Hang your merit. I don't seek anyone's approbation. — Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Endure for another day, Mister Tannen, and you'll have all the foul black misuse of water you can drink. — Scott Lynch

No guy in the history of America has ordered a Smirnoff Ice at a bar without hating himself a little. — Jay Black

Why would I go looking for someone I know wants to kill me? — J.K. Rowling

I did a film called 'Black Dynamite' that was very, very funny. That seems to be a film that's kind of a cult classic. — Kevin Chapman

Do you know, it's funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. — Stevie Wonder

He looks like a horse in a man costume! — Dylan Moran

How's your head?" the larger man asked.
"Do me a favor and cut it off," Black muttered. "It's more pain than it's worth right
now. — Tricia Owens

How funny it was. The very thing that had broken her heart, now no longer wanted. A trick of time. — Robin Black

Why is it that it's okay to call a white person "mate" yet it's not okay to call a black guy "primate"? — Frankie Boyle

I had a funny feeling he was sizing up the situation and somehow I was to blame for his sleepy
albeit really,really nice
fondling. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

You've been popping into the fire every hour?' Harry said, half laughing.
'Just for a few seconds to check if the coast was clear. — J.K. Rowling

I do not miss ITV, God no! Have you seen ITV lately? — Cilla Black

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it. — Oscar Wilde

Blankets are good to carry around if you want to be able to quickly black bag someone. — Nicole McKay

North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from. — Lewis Black

At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless. — Doug Stanhope

And the Lady's mate. Despite having only two legs and small fangs, there was much that was feline in that one, and he approved. — Anne Bishop

Me personally, I don't have anything against Jesus any more than I do any of the religious icons. I think they're all pretty funny. — Jack Black

Our neighbors were so excited when a black family moved in that they got them a welcome basket with the first three seasons of The Cosby Show on DVD. — Flynn Meaney

Saying women aren't funny is now like saying Asians can't drive or saying black people have bad credit. It's just really, like, so obsolete. — Whitney Cummings

Funny songs, that's my ticket. I can't remember when it started or why it started, it's just something that I NEEDED. — Jack Black

That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone. — Lewis Black

Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone. — Lewis Black

I'm simpley one hell of a butler. — Sebastian Michealis

He runs to the sink to spit it out. I grin. There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery. — Holly Black

I think you should know that real-life white people are not all as funny as the ones on 'Seinfeld'. — Aaron McGruder

Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious. — Caitlin Hale

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. — Lewis Black

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today's tasks. — Holly Black

Every Friday is black where I work. — The Covert Comic

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else" — Billy Connolly

If black boxes survive air crashes - why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff? — George Carlin

Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? — Hannah Harrington

It's like they were worried that I'd be alone all day brooding and painting my cabin black or something - sheesh. — Melissa Walker

Toto was not gray; he was a little black dog, with long silky hair and small black eyes that twinkled merrily on either side of his funny, wee nose. — L. Frank Baum

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone. — Flip Wilson

If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween ... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you. — Lewis Black

Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap. — Lewis Black

Mick Jagger's lips' so big, black people be going, "You got some big-ass lips!" — Eddie Murphy

There's nothing quite as funny as someone else's misery - Cassel Sharpe — Holly Black

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911. — Lewis Black

My wife has a black belt in shopping. — Henny Youngman

If you don't drink 56 bottles of water a week, scientists say you should take a garden hose at the end of the week and shove it up your ass. — Lewis Black

Buddha is pretty funny. Buddha is the coolest, though. If I had to go with one, I'd probably party with the Buddha. — Jack Black

Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it — Josh Stern

You look worse today than you did when you had two black
eyes."
"Why, thank you, Tyler. You always say the sweetest things. — Gwen Hayes

We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it. — Hannibal Buress

Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through! — George Lopez

Funny how morality, which always seems so black and white can be influenced so completely by what you were raised to believe. — Neal Shusterman

I hate to say it but I hate black humor. I feel like a Klan member saying it, but it's just not funny. — Issa Rae

White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing. — Chris Rock

Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy. — Lewis Black

Kids seem to get me when I play colleges - they like it because I go after them. They'll come up after and say I am like their dads, only funny. — Lewis Black