Funny Best Friend Quotes
Collection of top 64 famous quotes about Funny Best Friend
Funny Best Friend Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Best Friend quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.
MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?
ME: MATH. — KanyaACoffman
The best time to make friends isbefore you need them. — Ethel Barrymore
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
— Erma Bombeck
When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.
— Steven Wright
When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.
— Noel Fielding
A mother is the best friend God ever gave.
— Christian Nestell Bovee
I just killed my best friend ... and my worst enemy. What's the difference?
— Christian Slater
The torpid artist seeks inspiration at any cost, by virtue or by vice, by friend or by fiend, by prayer or by wine.
— Ralph Waldo Emerson
Talk about getting off tangent. My mother's friend may have just killed his wife and my parents are sitting there talking about cows.
— Wendy Lichtman
Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"
— Andy Borowitz
Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried.
— Charles Caleb Colton
It reminds me how funny living in LA can be; You go to a friend's barbecue and you leave the face of Victoria Beckham's look book.
— Alice Greczyn
Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.
— Otto Von Bismarck
The first time someone asked me if I was pregnant, I was eating friend cheese at the Summit County Fair
— Olive B. Persimmon
I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I'm in the company of good friends, but I'm not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious.
— Rowan Atkinson
It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell.
— George Herbert
Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart condition?
— Phil Silvers
It's funny how getting stabbed through the heart by a friend can bring your whole school year down.
— Heather Brewer
If you had a friend who was a tightrope walker, and you were walking down a sidewalk, and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable.
— Mitch Hedberg
Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.
— Rebecca Brooks
Screw you! You're a crappy best friend!!!
— Jenny Han
Nothing beats camping out in a dreary Jotunheim forest while your friend stitches runes on a giant bowling bag!
— Rick Riordan
She must have been very anxious about a first boy friend to fall in love with a Colgate boy
— Haidji
My father chose my name , and my last name was chosen by my ancestors . That's enough, I myself choose my way
— Ali Shariati
She was my friend because she was kind and funny but she had a face like two oysters fused together in a Star Trek matter transporter accident.
— Andrew Hinkinson
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
— Corey Ford
Why would anybody want a friend?
— Jerry Seinfeld
Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.
— Edwin Arlington Robinson
You Too? I thought I was the only one.
— C.S. Lewis
We all men want a bad girl friend, but a good wife.
— M.F. Moonzajer
Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don't have a sense of humor it just isn't funny anymore.
— Wavy Gravy
I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it.
— Jimmy Carr
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
— Edward De Bono
I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, "Pass the salt." I said, "Screw you! Sit closer to the salt."
— Mitch Hedberg
I realized I'd only seen him at night in dim, flattering restaurant lighting. The sun was not his friend.
— Augusten Burroughs
It's funny how you can know a person, think of him as your closest friend, and still never gain access to the secret chambers in his heart.
— Jennifer Finney Boylan
My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.
— Demetri Martin
Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter.
— Gelett Burgess
Here. There. Everywhere." He leered at his friend. "Thinking about you and Moira'sunderwear. — Dana Marie Bell
My Scottie refused to go for a walk with a friend of the house, but she would joyously accompany any stranger who drove a car.
— Mazo De La Roche
That's why they're man's best friend. 'Cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are. So do women, but they've already got men
— Bill Engvall
We all have that one friend that walks into your home like its their home
— Thabang Gideon Magaola
There's no better friend than a sister ...
— Mary Engelbreit
Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason
— Mason Cooley
A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.
— Samuel Hall Lord
I guess it was what my friend Phoolendu at the yoga studio would call kismet. That's like fate, but much more dramatic.
— Robin Palmer
I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.
— Russell Howard
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.
— Jon Foreman
Life is so much friendlier with two.
— A.A. Milne
Without friends the world is but a wilderness.
— Francis Bacon
