Funny Best Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny Best

Funny Best Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Best quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Women were tricky creatures under the best of circumstances. This was not the best of circumstances. — Genevieve Dewey

You're at your best when you don't know what you're doing. — Paul Stanley

Pound notes are the best religion in the world. — Brendan Behan

The behavior of any bureaucratic organization can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies. — Robert Conquest

Important families are like potatoes. The best parts are underground. — Francis Bacon

Deals work best when each side gets something it wants from the other. — Donald Trump

With the history of us, a book wouldn't necessarily be the best thing. — Keisha Buchanan

Vomit and shit, even your own, stink. — Sheeja Jose

The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it. — Mark Twain

Spies have the same kinds of needs and desires that everybody does, which is funny. The best kind of comedy derives from that kind of truth. — Matt Nix

It's a very funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. — W. Somerset Maugham

I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left-winger in the Premiership, but there are none better. — Ron Atkinson

I threw my hand over my mouth and blurted out the first best excuse I could come up with, Morning breath! — Melissa Aragon

I'm the decider, and I decide what is best. — George W. Bush

As funny as it sounds, the best thing I got out of making a solo record was to realize how much I love being in a band. — Dave Pirner

Generosity is the best investment. — Diane Von Furstenberg

she shall scant show well that now shows best. — William Shakespeare

The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button. — Rick Reilly

That's the problem with best friends. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself. — Cecily Von Ziegesar

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies. — Voltaire

Dragos had a short temper at the best of times. Now he was liable to bite somebody's head off if they looked at him funny. — Thea Harrison

I find it kind of funny. I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. — Tears For Fears

I love to stalk. I love to stalk you real, real good. I took your name home after our date and we had the best Google session of my life. — Anyta Sunday

Minimalism is a girl's best asset, blend tones, smudge hard outlines; if all else fails; Photoshop it. — Judith Chambers

A mother is the best friend God ever gave. — Christian Nestell Bovee

I just killed my best friend ... and my worst enemy. What's the difference? — Christian Slater

It's funny how the darkest moments of your life can bring about the best ones. — Kathryn Kennish

Don't do it gurl," he said with a wink. "You need to pretend like that phone is your best friend's husband's dick now drop it. — Ethan Day

The best way to appreciate your job is to, is here to stay. — Oscar Wilde

Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women. — Gloria Steinem

They are funny, too. And not always intentionally, either, which as far as I am concerned is the very best kind of funny. — Michael Booth

A sense of humor is an important thing to have because when you get into an argument, one of the best ways to diffuse it is to be funny. — Ed Sheeran

Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice. — Otto Von Bismarck

Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart condition? — Phil Silvers

Oh Pia, I feel GOOD! Fully recovered!' he always says in a dazzling tone that tells everyone within a ten-kilometre radius that he's not. — Aditi Mathur Kumar

I have been told the best things in life are free ~ I found them very expensive. — E.A. Bucchianeri

The funny thing is, Ivy, falling in love with you was as easy as breathing. The best time of my life. — Kristen Callihan

The two of us, we're the best kind of disaster. Apples and oranges. Well, more like apples and machetes. — Brittany Cavallaro

The person who proclaimed me Best Dressed Man never saw me in my sport outfit. — Robert Pattinson

I come from a long line of miserable people. — Arlene Schindler

That is the best-to laugh with someone because you both think the same things are funny. — Gloria Vanderbilt

Never dance in a puddle when there's a hole in your shoe (it's always best to take your shoes off first). — John D. Rhodes

I'm sick of the media making female sports athletes into supermodels, when they're clearly sixes at best. — Daniel Tosh

It's arguably the best newspaper in the world. — Steve Coogan

[Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"
[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. — Dakota Cassidy

Thanks, Marisa. You're the best sister a girl can ask for," Mia told her sincerely.
"I know--and very modest too. — Anna Zaires

I love my funny poems, but I'd rather break your heart. And if I can do both in the same poem, that's the best. — James Tate

Nature itself is the best physician. — Hippocrates

It's best not to get settled on things being a certain way, I realized. Life had a funny way if interrupting your plans. — Tracey Porter

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. — Criss Jami

Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it! — Ilona Andrews

I don't really necessarily think I'm a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don't feel I'm the best at doing. — Seann William Scott

Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' — Ron Funches

That's the best advice I can give - when you're trying to write a comedy, first write a drama, and then make it funny. — Jason Segel

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. — Woody Allen

I'm pretty sure my stomach has a sliver in it from rubbing up against my backbone, so back off, bitch. — H.J. Bellus

Some blogs have become the best check on monopoly mainstream journalism, and they provide a surprisingly frequent source of initiative reporting. — Harold Evans

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death. — Ernest Hemingway,

You'll see a lot of funny stuff, you'll see a lot of daddy-knows-best stuff, you'll see a lot of me and my wife trying to hold the family together. — Russell Simmons

I liked getting the best villain award. I thought that was funny. — Stephen Dorff

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. — David Ogilvy

Yes, it's funny, isn't it? You try to do what's best for the people you love, and you just end up in trouble for your efforts. — Kirsten Miller

It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality our best work is done by keeping things out. — C.S. Lewis

Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. — Jon Foreman

[I]t is funny because economists are not real scientists, and because logicians think more clearly, but mathematicians are best. — Mark Haddon

Best to have only a few absolutely perfect trait - for example, my hair and eyes and sparkling personality - so you don't overwhelm. — Kiersten White

If somebody tells me what to do, I will do my best not to do it. — Hiroko Sakai

Indignation is often the best defense. — Diane Capri

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. - SOMERSET MAUGHAM — Sarah Ban Breathnach

It is best for ordinary men to have only one wife ! — Akbar

Love doesn't drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. — Helen Gurley Brown

Funny thing how when you reach out, people tend to reach right back. Best, then, to make sure your hand is open and not fisted. — Richelle E. Goodrich

The worst reconciliation is better than the best divorce. — Miguel De Cervantes

My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas

On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball. — Magic Johnson

It is best one should quote what one doesn't understand at all in the language one knows the least — Voltaire

Laughter is the best medicine — Chase Soundly

What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off? — Parker S. Huntington

Funny how a nice ass, firm pecs, and a great smile could thwart a woman's best plans. — Karina Halle

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. — P.G. Wodehouse

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. — Arthur C. Clarke

That's funny. I've always liked Naomi's version of me the best. I'm always much more interesting when she talks about me. — Rachel Cohn

You Too? I thought I was the only one. — C.S. Lewis

They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that. — Kevin Keegan

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants — Dave Beard

They say laughter is the best medicine, and I agree. Plus, it's free, has no bad side effects and is available to EVERYONE. — Mindy Levy

I'm really not that funny in real life! But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh. — Carol Burnett

In those days the best painkiller was ice; it wasn't addictive and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. — George Burns

The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962. — Dave Barry

All of my best friends are dead people. Someday I've got to figure out how that happened. — Claudia Gray

I had a dream about you last night. It wasn't until after you sold me the talking car, I realized you were the world's best ventriloquist. — Michael Summers

I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End ... ' — Tim Vine

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out. — Phyllis Diller

Our parents would not be 'The best parents in the world' (to us) if they were not our parents. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Magic Johnson is the best player who plays on the ground, and Michael Jordan is the best player who plays in the air. — John Paxson

I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter. — Jim Carrey

Fuck you!" "Right here?" He crossed his arms. "That definitely wouldn't help your getting over me. — Stacey Marie Brown

To me, the best humor is indeed the ability to laugh at one's self. So I give myself endless opportunities to do so. — Tom Althouse

he hadn't killed or shagged even one single person in front of me - which I felt was a rather good indication of his superior character. — Hettie Ivers

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet. — Robert Orben