Funny And Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny And
Funny And Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny And quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Once again, there was talk of winning every game, and once again, we proved to be human, because an oblong ball takes funny bounces.
— Michael Pinball Clemons
I look crazy, but I'm not. And the funny thing is, that other people don't look crazy, but they are.
— Eden Ahbez
Funny that. We live in islands of Hours and we never seem to have time enough for anything ...
— Clive Barker
Hide your gold, your faith and the reason of you journey.
— Eduard Heine
Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, made to hold a rifle, not a needle.
— Hilary Mantel
Love is like Pi: natural, irrational, and very important.
— Lisa Hoffman
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong, somebody's heart is broken, and it becomes your favorite song.
— Dave Matthews Band
You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car.
— Harvey Diamond
The sooner the jihadis go up to their imagined #heaven, the sooner our earth would be a heaven.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
Do try The House by fresh new author, Susannah Mansfield, it's funny, sad and very different, you'll love the characters and the stories.
— Susannah Mansfield
Some actors try to play parts and do things they can't do. Being funny is one of them. Being funny's hard.
— Tom Sizemore
I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff.
— Todd Phillips
And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself.
— Murray Walker
Cats can be very funny, and have the oddest ways of showing they're glad to see you ...
— W. H. Auden
Remember: blonde, brunette, and redhead are not personality types.
— Howard Mittelmark
Like the NRA says, it's better to have a machine gun and not need it than to need a machine gun and not have it.
— John Sandford
The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome.
— Amanda Seyfried
The police are on the way to arrest you for stealing my heart, hijacking my feelings, and driving me crazy.
— Harriet Morgan
You can't be funny unless you're tragic, and you can't be tragic unless you're funny.
— Elaine Stritch
Mama!' Rosie tugged on my shirt. 'This broccoli is tasty and wonderful'.
— Curtis Sittenfeld
It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people.
— F Scott Fitzgerald
If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great.
— Erin Dionne
I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way.
— Huntley Fitzpatrick
Teasing is veiled hostility and is almost never funny, unless the teasee has openly agreed to relate that way.
— Sue Patton Thoele
I recommend you don't attend the wheat and chaff bonfire.
— M.J. McGuire
Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.
— Molly Harper
There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off."What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! — Greg Farshtey
Comedy is funny when it comes from truth, and that's always the rule of them. It's about how far you can push that boundary.
— Ari Graynor
Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists.
— Darynda Jones
Oh, sod off, I'm calling the Police." Another series of banging on the door. "Open up, Police." That was quick.
— Simon Dunn
She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
Miguel: Merle? What kind of hick name is that? I wouldn't name my dog Merle.
— The Walking Dead
Imogene always sitson the remote. It's probably wedged between her butt cheeks."
"Should I go get a crowbar? — Kirsten Miller
I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe.
— Ricky Schroder
Ferrari leads, McLaren second, McLaren second, Jordan third, and Benneton fifth and sixth.
— Murray Walker
Get in my way again, boy, and you're going to learn that Velkan isn't the only one in this family who has fangs. Retta to Viktor
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
Chomsky is a pencil-and-paper theoretician who wouldn't know Jabba the Hutt from the Cookie Monster,
— Steven Pinker
It's funny; Luther and I have written many songs together, but we've never written songs in the same room.
— Richard Marx
Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases.
— Richard Brinsley Sheridan
Tell Savitar I said hi.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.
— Josh Billings
Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.
— Nicole McKay
She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche.
— Larissa Ione
It's off the leg and into the left field of Doug Rader.
— Jerry Coleman
Nobody wants to give up a weekend-long excuse to dress up and attempt to outshine one another.
— Elizabeth Eulberg
If I was a mechanic and someone called me and said their car would not start, I would say, "Hey - maybe a killer is after you!"
— Mitch Hedberg
Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious.
— Caitlin Hale
She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.
— Tammara Webber
Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.""Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger
Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth.
— Rebecca Brooks
It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we even get into the episode.
— Megan Follows
And oil's not supposed to mix with water. But then someone invented mayonnaise, and wham - instant mixing.
— Jackie Kessler
I'm a dog lover and sex addict. Those two things are unrelated.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
It's so funny to think that I used to be a model and here I am doing arbitrage, shipping and negotiating margins, the list is endless.
— Caprice Bourret
My dear Natalya Petrovna, there's funny and funny.
— Ivan Turgenev
It's funny what happens when you become a grandparent. You start to act all goofy and do things you never thought you'd do. It's terrific.
— Mike Krzyzewski
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
— Jeff Foxworthy
I have the street smarts and survival skills of, like, a poodle.
— Jennifer Lawrence
They have dog food for constipated dogs. If your dog is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!
— David Letterman
I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about.
— Dave Barry
Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?
— Jim Jefferies
I think this whole celebrity world is weird anyway. Weird and funny and kind of pathetic and yet so right for parody.
— Ben Stiller
I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping?
— Ellen DeGeneres
Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion in humans.
— Raheel Farooq
As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless.
— Lord Chesterfield
Jean Alesi is 4th and 5th.
— Murray Walker
And here comes Mika Hakkinen, double world champion twice over.
— Murray Walker