Funny And Random Humor Quotes
Collection of top 59 famous quotes about Funny And Random Humor
Funny And Random Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny And Random Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Ish #153 Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.
— Regina Griffin
MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.
MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?
ME: MATH. — KanyaACoffman
Val had a horrific image of Lisa peering through a magnifying glass like a grotesquely teenybopper version of Nancy Drew - in jeggings.
— Nenia Campbell
Haha, I can't hit you. If I did, I'd feel sorry for the person who'd have to clean up the mess of your splattered brain.
— Kyousuke Motomi
Now there's a girl I don't want to mess with' - or at least, that's what I would think if I had a chronic fear of freakishly nice people.
— Nenia Campbell
When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line.
— Nenia Campbell
Clouds are high flying Fog
— Gaurav Rao
You could carve out the inside of a brick and hide your money in it for safe keeping. It's certainly safer than keeping it in the bank!
— Nicole McKay
A blanket is a tell-all story about its endeavors with certain highly publicized people and their somewhat promiscuous acts.
— Nicole McKay
NI! Oh no! Not ni! — Graham Chapman
Do you remember what I forgot?
— Erica Goros
Well blow me down with a solar flare.
— Nenia Campbell
Dear Fly, I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse. You are a fly, so I want to be shit. — Casey Scieszka
Someone once said writing and gardening are similar pursuits. Tell you what, I'd have one fucked up garden if that were the case.
— Carla H. Krueger
Poseidon's underpants! You can't be serious.
— Rick Riordan
You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket.
— Nicole McKay
Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs
— Josh Stern
Blankets are good to carry around if you want to be able to quickly black bag someone.
— Nicole McKay
For loose teeth the tooth fairy recommends tying your tooth to a brick and throwing said brick down the stairs.
— Nicole McKay
The man you're going to marry should be like a brick: strong, sturdy, supportive and almost always hard in your presence.
— Nicole McKay
Life before toilet paper was not worth living.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
EAT SANDWICH, NOT OWN MOUTH.
— Lauren Conrad
A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick.
— Nicole McKay
The Bible talks about building houses on sand and rock, but says nothing about a brick house built on a blanket.
— Nicole McKay
World domination is just my side gig.
— Tanjlisa Marie
A blanket could be used as a lovely rug, a rug that just so happens to be covering a large hole, you should really feel this rug!
— Nicole McKay
If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months
— Josh Stern
(About a cookbook ... )- What about this one? Maids of Honor?
- Weeelll, they starts OUT as Maids of Honor ... but they ends up Tarts. — Terry Pratchett
Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
— Regina Griffin
Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it
— Josh Stern
A brick could be used for note delivery, from the KKK.
— Nicole McKay
People need to make sure they have a good humor spark plug inside them that can be ignited at any moment when required.
— Wes Adamson
Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.
— Nicole McKay
Dogs are angels full of poop.
— Oliver Gaspirtz