Funny Advice Quotes: top 37 famous quotes about Funny Advice

Funny Advice Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Advice quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. — Diane Arbus

I will call bullshit on that so many times that the word bullshit will lose all meaning. -Milo — Cora Carmack

Sometimes advises from others are more difficult to bear with than even slang. — Amit Kalantri

My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other. — Josh Billings

It is funny how no one seems to want my always excellent advice. — Anne Lamott

Err on the side of awesome. — Brandon Sanderson

He also gave me some advice that I follow to this day: Sing in the mirror. If it looks funny, it's wrong. — Renee Fleming

I am not fake, I am just too good to be true (-: — Mahsati Abdul

More you know, better advice you give. Less you know, more advice you give. — Gerry Geek

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need advice. — Bill Cosby

A man wants too many things before marriage, but only peace after it. — Pawan Mishra

When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run from there. — Amit Kalantri

People will say you can't do good and do well. They're wrong, that's idiotic advice. — Soledad O'Brien

If you're heading downtown from Centeral Park, my advice is to take the subway. Flying pigs are faster but way more dangerous — Rick Riordan

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. — Wendell Johnson

My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there. — Ron Richards

I sometimes give myself excellent advice. Occasionally, I even listen to it. — Jim Butcher

The funny thing
about
advice is,
we always tell
others
the things
we
cannot
really do
ourselves. — Robert M. Drake

Fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy, that's great. — John Cena

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh. — Amy Poehler

That's the best advice I can give - when you're trying to write a comedy, first write a drama, and then make it funny. — Jason Segel

Always drink upstream from the herd. — Will Rogers

You can't make a woman love you. Not even with duct tape. — J. Richard Singleton

Don't go to the circus. — Angie Sage

I may not always be right, but when I am, I admit it — Ken Murray

Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer. — Charles M. Schulz

Here's my advice: Go ahead and be whacky. Get into a crazy frame of mind and ask what's funny about what you're doing. — Roger Von Oech

Word of advice - never ask a terrorist the question 'What would you do for a Klondike bar?'. — David C. Holley

Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt. — S.K. Tremayne

What is your advice to young writers?"
"Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes. — Charles Bukowski

Most of a husband's life is spent in doing research on his wife. — Pawan Mishra

Women who seek advice from single women about getting a man is like asking a homeless man how to be rich. — Habeeb Akande

Tip#27

Kiss a girl if you're a female,

If you're a single male kiss a Guy

(Idea)
It's fun to offend society ~ — Hazel Cartwright

Every child that receives life advice should keep in mind that in every parent's past, there's leftover booze and contraceptives. — Bauvard

For someone so conflicted, who am I to give advice to anybody? It's such a funny, grandiose idea — Florence Welch

And my piece of advice is ... don't flirt with any of the female instructors. They all have access to weapons bigger than yours. — Simone Elkeles

When you're given the gift of truth, you spend a lot of time trying to tone it down because it is already offensive enough. — Shannon L. Alder