Friends Funny Quotes: top 93 famous quotes about Friends Funny

Friends Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Friends Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I'll pray for good semen. And I'll get all of my friends to pray for good semen. — Buffy Andrews

The best time to make friends is
before you need them. — Ethel Barrymore

Being in a relationship is like being in A.A. My friends ask me, 'How's it going with that girl?' 'One day at a time, man.' — Adam Ferrara

It's funny, 99% of the time, haters and the 1 they hate on have everything in common and could be best friends. — Behdad Sami

. . . and together you're what, the Super Friends? — Mark Jeffrey

I really hate it when people want to kill me. It makes me think they don't want to be friends. - Raven from Blood of Prey — R.J. Dennis

Zane sighed. Jovan and Mother were just the same. "Maybe later" meant no. — C.J. Milbrandt

The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn't aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn't know they existed. I was sheltered. — Kevin Hart

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees. — Ryan Lilly

What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish." — Robert Schimmel

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool. — Gilbert K. Chesterton

We weren't really friends yet, just knowers of each other's secret stuff. — M. Beth Bloom

Well, you know that old saying, "Keep your friends close and make out with your enemies. — Shae Ross

I've written for the waste basket so often that we've become friends. He writes too, but it's mostly garbage. — Ryan Lilly

I've always liked being funny and making people laugh. I was a cut-up when I was a kid, and was always doing bits for my friends and family. — Busy Philipps

The people from 'The State' are close friends, but also some of the most incredibly funny people I know. — Joe Lo Truglio

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK. — Steven Wright

That's the problem with best friends. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself. — Cecily Von Ziegesar

May God defend me from my friends: I can defend myself from my enemies. — Voltaire

Shane, honey, in Morganville, friends are the only things that keep you alive. — Rachel Caine

Hm funny you think you truly know me all tell you this only my trust of friends know who I relay am — Pikmin100xx

If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them — Andy Borowitz

I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends." — Steven Wright

Thanks for coming, Zach told him. He slapped Jonas on the back. And I felt like I'd fallen into an alternate universe. One where Zach had ... friends. — Ally Carter

Time for Tolerance,Equality, and Acceptance, It's allways TEA time with my Friends ... — Gregory Douglass

Honest friends is kinda nice, but it's hard to beat a big-ass lie and a six-pack of brewskies. — Lois Greiman

[Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"
[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. — Dakota Cassidy

I love making friends ... it's people I can't stand. — Linus Torvalds

I'm pretty sure my stomach has a sliver in it from rubbing up against my backbone, so back off, bitch. — H.J. Bellus

Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them. — Edwin Arlington Robinson

Talking about your troubles is no good. Eighty percent of your friends don't care and the rest are glad. — Tommy Lasorda

It's funny how you can grow away from your friends, when just a few years ago they were the most important people in your life. — Judy Blume

Percy looked at his friends. I'm getting tired of this guy's shirt. — Rick Riordan

Just a few questions for you, Mr. Dunne. Or Kenny. Can I call you Kenny? I feel we've become friends in these past few seconds. Can I call you Kenny? — Derek Landy

I hate people who cry around me. I'm not friends with them anymore. Especially girls. Cuz girls are crying all the time. It's like, 'Shut up.' — Robert Pattinson

Friends from America!(Translation:"Tourist with Money")Look this way! — Amanda Hudson

What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off? — Parker S. Huntington

Happiness held is the beginning; happiness shared is the blossom — Abhysheq Shukla

That was a funny thing about friends, Marylin thought. You could know a person practically your whole life and she could still surprise you. — Frances O'Roark Dowell

Satisfaction is not the achievement of what we want, but the awareness of what we have. — Abhysheq Shukla

The French are always reticent to surrender to the wishes of their friends and always more than willing to surrender to the wishes of their enemies. — Dennis Miller

I am so like Donna it's funny. And most of my friends are guys too. — Laura Prepon

Love is only chatter, friends are all that matter. — Gelett Burgess

Tom Hanks is fantastic - he is one of my dad's good friends, and he's very warm and funny. — Bryce Dallas Howard

Having friends is how your life gets fucked up. — Jesse Andrews

I had imaginary friends and even they were mean to me. — Olivia Wilde

Laughing at our friends, we avenge the disappointment they have caused. — Mason Cooley

When I'm with my friends I'm funny, but I don't feel like I'm a funny clown. — Nora Dunn

It's funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have. — Liam Neeson

So all my friends have kids now ... which I think is rude. — David Cross

Alas! Charles made the promise glibly, and forgot all about it. — Whipplesnaith

Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you. — Yasser Arafat

I was always pretty funny with my friends. — Kenan Thompson

Being funny has always mattered a lot to me. It's why I started acting - to make my friends laugh. — Nick Wechsler

I have a lot of funny friends, and we joke a lot, but I've never really played comedic parts. — Joel Kinnaman

If I don't get at least 1 email in any given hour, I begin to think my friends are conspiring against me. — Tommy James

Isn't it funny how we all will end up? Best friends today, communicating via internet tomorrow. Crush today, dancing at their weddings tomorrow. — Manasa Rao

It was amazing how many friends you could make by being bad at things, provided you were bad enough to be funny. — Terry Pratchett

It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that. — Karl Pilkington

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends. — Adam Ferrara

Friends don't drool. Friends don't drool... — Barbara Kloss

Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we're like Oprah and Gale. Only we're not denying anything. — Tina Fey

Don't be too nice to him," I teased. "He'll never leave. — Juliet Blackwell

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living. — Jim Norton

Stop teasing you two," Suzy jumped in, "not all of Kathy's ideas are wacky."
"Gee thanks. Was that supposed to be a compliment? — E.A. Bucchianeri

I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb. — Russell Howard

Because friendship is about laughing when the other person is joking to make you feel better. Even if you don't find her joke all that funny. — Padma Venkatraman

It's funny how even when you've lived with someone your whole life, they can still surprise you. — Shannon Wiersbitzky

It's funny how you can know your friends so well, but you still end up playing the same games with them. — Lauren Oliver

Its funny how we can go from good friends for months to strangers for years and best friends for hours. Plastic world, realistic people. — Lik Hock Yap

Ladies and gentleman are permitted to have friends in the kennel, but not in the kitchen. — George Bernard Shaw

What's funny about my group of friends is that none of us ever went to the same school. None of us lived in the same part of town. — Mila Kunis

Friends are what God gives you to make up for your family. — Bruce White

I hate it in friends when they come too late to help. — Euripides

I won't let my best friends do silly,stupid,annoying,funny things
-WITHOUT ME!!!!!!!!!! — Azhly Antenor

I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues" — Demetri Martin

Nothing is more cheerful than talking about our friends' shortcomings. — Mason Cooley

Be nice. Funny. Smart. Generous. Kind. Feed your body with good food. Your soul with good friends. And your mind with new things. — Jillian Dodd

I was a good student, sort of funny and athletic. I had friends. — Rosemary Mahoney

You Too? I thought I was the only one. — C.S. Lewis

I'll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends - and my friends are hilarious. — Issa Rae

All of my best friends are dead people. Someday I've got to figure out how that happened. — Claudia Gray

Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. — Eminem

I always chose all my friends on whether they were funny. What's a better way to pass the time than laughing or smiling? — Ricky Gervais

Us is my favorite people. — Rick Riordan

I can be reasonably funny and light-hearted when I'm in the company of good friends, but I'm not a jokesmith. I tend to be quite serious. — Rowan Atkinson

I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy. — Mike Birbiglia

It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell. — George Herbert

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one. — Andy Borowitz

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends. — Walt Whitman

My friends and family always thought I was pretty funny, but I don't know if they thought I was get-my-own-show funny. — Nick Kroll

Without friends the world is but a wilderness. — Francis Bacon

Friends are like bras, attached near your heart for support. Foes are like panties, deported, every now and then, when they get dirty. — Santosh Kalwar