Doug Stanhope Funny Quotes
Collection of top 32 famous quotes about Doug Stanhope Funny
Doug Stanhope Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Doug Stanhope Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I don't believe in a government that protects us from ourselves.
— Ronald Reagan
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.
— Doug Stanhope
Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.
— Doug Stanhope
If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?
— Doug Stanhope
Never adopt an attitude of indifference, for if you do you will suffer for it. The weight will grow heavier and heavier.
— Watchman Nee
Three helping one another, beare the burthen of sixe.[Three helping one another, bear the burden of six.] — George Herbert
Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly.
— Doug Stanhope
They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.
— Doug Stanhope
I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.
— Doug Stanhope
Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do.
— Doug Stanhope
Recipes are overrated.
— Jose Andres
That there is a Devil, is a thing doubted by none but such as are under the influences of the Devil.
— Cotton Mather
Shooting gives me a good feeling. It is faster than baseball and you are out on one strike.
— Ernest Hemingway,
I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.
— Doug Stanhope
Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.
— Doug Stanhope
There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with. Love shouldn't be one of them. Anything less than extraordinary is a waste of my time.
— Jill Robinson
Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating.
— Doug Stanhope
My first open mic, I drank a full pitcher of beer by myself. I wasn't afraid of being in front of people as much as, Is this funny?
— Doug Stanhope
I've just got a new house in Pacific Palisades. It's really cute.
— Claire Forlani
After all my erstwhile dear, my no longer cherished; Need we say it was not love, just because it perished? — Edna St. Vincent Millay
What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.
— Doug Stanhope
I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.
— Doug Stanhope
Set your heights more than what you see around you, see beyond.
— Anthony Anderson
