Doug Stanhope Best Quotes
Collection of top 32 famous quotes about Doug Stanhope Best
Doug Stanhope Best Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Doug Stanhope Best quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.
— Doug Stanhope
I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.
— Doug Stanhope
If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?
— Doug Stanhope
The characteristic of a well-bred man is, to converse with his inferiors without insolence, and with his superiors with respect and with ease.
— Doug Stanhope
I've been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better.
— Doug Stanhope
The catholic church has a lot more money than any Colombian cartel and they leave a lot more bodies in their wake.
— Doug Stanhope
Coward is the most misused word in our society.
— Doug Stanhope
The Mind is everything. Do drugs. But just don't have drugs.
— Doug Stanhope
I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.
— Doug Stanhope
You forget, when you're in the Scandinavian countries, you forget they don't speak English first and they speak better than I do.
— Doug Stanhope
Drugs support terrorism? No, your SUV supports terrorism.
— Doug Stanhope
I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.
— Doug Stanhope
Statistical high Vegas odds probability is that nothing of any significance will ever happen to you in your entire boring life.
— Doug Stanhope
I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.
— Doug Stanhope
Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.
— Doug Stanhope
I don't like life that much. It's not that big a deal for me ... I don't want to know I have cancer till it's visible to the naked eye.
— Doug Stanhope
The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.
— Doug Stanhope
I'm a bit of a potty mouth. My dad used to wash out my mouth with soap, but that was just to get rid of any traces of his DNA.
— Doug Stanhope
I used to do boiler room telemarketing for a living, like hardcore fraud stuff that gets busted on 60 Minutes every week.
— Doug Stanhope
Everything that is going to kill you is extremely appetizing.
— Doug Stanhope
Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.
— Doug Stanhope
We have no healthcare and we have all the guns in the world, it makes you think twice before you start throwing punches in a bar.
— Doug Stanhope
"This is Lakshmi Singh." It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.
— Doug Stanhope
America takes credit for giving you freedom that you had anyway. It's like going to a wedding and putting your tag on somebody elses box.
— Doug Stanhope
All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.
— Doug Stanhope
Sex is free fun for poor people.
— Doug Stanhope
I don't know. Both my parents are dead. So? Wait, I got pictures of their corpses in my wallet. I had them blown up as murals. Here.
— Doug Stanhope
