Douche Quotes: top 49 famous quotes about Douche

Douche Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Douche quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

You pussy-whipped douche waffle. — Jamie McGuire

And he paddled away in his douche canoe. — Joe Hill

He owns Douchedome. All assholes compete in the douche form of the Olympics at Douchedome. — Calia Read

Douche. You are a fucking douche shovel. — Kandi Steiner

Abs - all the assholes had them. Four to six muscles were like a graph chart to show just how big of a douche bag the guy was. — Jamie McGuire

If a man tells you he's an asshole & that you deserve better, believe him...it's a warning. It's best you listen before he proves it to you. — April Mae Monterrosa

Thank you," I said in relief. "Fuck you, douche," he replied before hanging up. — Kelli Jean

How can we be so utterly perfect, and you chose the douche who doesn't have the first clue what he has? — Melissa A. Craven

The guy just stood there. Hello. There're zombies everywhere. Try looking behind you, douche canoe. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

This Jacob dude sounds like a real Bilbo Douche-Baggins. — Jess Rothenberg

Joshua was everything I expected him to be - handsome, charming, stylish, and a complete douche. — S.L. Jennings

I may be a douche to some people, but I actually do run companies. — Scott Disick

Your attempt at GQ has, tragically, ended in douche-bag. - Anna, Seers of Light — Jennifer DeLucy

It takes the right guy to show you how wrong the last douche bag was. — Srinivas Shenoy

I fight the urge to call him a mother-fucking douche canoe and glare down at his shoes, my lip curling. — Belle Aurora

I know Matt is your friend, but I think he's a douche bag. — Rebekkah Ford

Don't demean what I know is one of your favorite body parts. — Gil A. Waters

Because all little girls deserve to be protected. Even the daughters of douche bags. — Kimberly Wollenburg

I think the world would be a simpler place if 'douche' and 'touche' were pronounced the same. — Travis J. Dahnke

Granuaile:"So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood?"
Atticus:" Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice. — Kevin Hearne

Justin Bieber is a douche bag. Now that I have your attention, let's talk about cars. — Corey Taylor

Yeah Jesus could turn water in to wine, but he didn't share. Douche. — Anthony Langston

You don't have to tell him anything, Asher,' Lily said, obviously renewing her loyalty in spite of his douche wafflosity. — Christopher Moore

Father' is such an arbitary word. Douche bag, on the other hand ... — Becca Fitzpatrick

I'm your personal jock-blocker, baby." Tori reached into her jeans pocket and handed over a half-eaten Snickers bar. "Happy Douche Liberation Day. — Melissa Landers

I may have at some point referred to him as a douche nozzle. — Hannah Harrington

Listen douche pants. You're not going to tell me anything about disease I don't already know. — John Green

No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract. — Jen Lancaster

You're smart, pretty, and you aren't a douche purse. — Gena Showalter

She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche. — Larissa Ione

It was a very imaginative, bitey possum and also a total douche-canoe. — Jenny Lawson

Most people lie and let life play upon them like the tepid discharges of a douche-bag. — Lawrence Durrell

People are douche bags. Many people. Not all. But you know, most.
Which is why we destroyed the world. — Christopher Moore

I processed his words, my lips searching for his clumsily in the dark. I felt his fingers squeeze my neck. And that douche choked me out. — Camilla Monk

What a douche," Reagan muttered. "I'm pretty sure my mom has that scarf. — Rainbow Rowell

My car has wyvern giblets on the inside and fairy douche on the outside, I deserve the big shower! — S.L.J. Shortt

Well, I wouldn't be grumpy if you left my ice cream alone, douche! — Priya Kanaparti

I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE. — Kanye West

I want to leave a mark.

But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars. — John Green

That guy," Lindsey said, "is a douche. Asterisk, I hate him. Footnote, he can suck it. — Chloe Neill

When do you stop to de-douche? — Anthony Bourdain

A douche of spray blinded my brother for a moment. — H.G.Wells

Romance is the douche of the bourgeoisie, — David Berman

That dude is a class-A douche nozzle."

-Braeden — Cambria Hebert

My dad can be such a douche sometimes when he makes complete and total sense; I so freaking hate him. — L.M. Roberts

Gryffindor is the courageous one right? I mean, I'm here because I have the balls to tell adults when they're douche bags, so yeah, Gryffindor. — Trish Cook, Brendan Halpin

You're worse than a douche bag. You're a douche puddle, the excrement of a douching. — L.D. Davis

Gentlemen, a depression is for capitalism like a good, cold douche. — Joseph A. Schumpeter

Hipsterdom's a tightrope strung across the canyon of douche-baggery. He clung by a finger. — Anthony Marra