Doctors Funny Quotes: top 28 famous quotes about Doctors Funny

Doctors Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Doctors Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

People who are in love suspect nothing or everything. — Honore De Balzac

The doctor looked at my cardiogram and made that "hmmmm" noise that doctors are taught in medical school so they won't come right out and say "UH-oh!" — Dave Barry

I must stick with Chinese language films. — Zhang Yimou

"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!" — Henny Youngman

I recently bought the box set of 'Doctor Who' and watched it back to back, Unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the TV! — Milton Jones

Before I knew it, I'll be thirty and I'll realise that everday I look less the person I wanted to be when I was fifteen. (The Angel's Game) — Carlos Ruiz Zafon

If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool. — Hippocrates

I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera." — Tim Vine

Behind every good decathlete, there's a good doctor. — Bill Toomey

One time I was forced to go to the doctors because of a sports accident. Herpes. — Mitch Hedberg

The Doctor says, "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?" — Henny Youngman

A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to get him on the operating table. — Bob Hope

Medicine's a funny business. After all, dispensing chemicals is considered mainstream and diet and nutrition is considered alternative. — Charles F. Glassman

Everyone who wants to do good to the human race always ends in universal bullying. — Aldous Huxley

Unhealthy behavior is actually common among doctors, who tend to know a lot about medicine but very little about health. — Sol Luckman

Moods can be contagious. Don't catch or spread a bad mood. — Marilyn Suttle

The cyclic universe theory predicts no gravitational waves from the early universe. — Stephen Hawking

Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. — Spike Milligan

The Japanese have a long lifespan in part because they eat different forms of algae. — Homaro Cantu

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. — Axl Rose

I told my doctor I got water on my knee, he gave me a sponge and raised his fee! — Rodney Dangerfield

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!" — Henny Youngman

During the late '20s my father left us. My mother was in a complete hole with no money, and we were evicted. — Vidal Sassoon

Time is a beautiful thing. It's like when you meet an old lover on the street six years later and they don't look so ugly anymore. — Sarah McLachlan

Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime. — Mark Twain

When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.' — George Burns

I was raped by a doctor. Which is, you know, so bittersweet for a Jewish girl. — Sarah Silverman

Books: boring. Codes: awesome. These are the people who are running the internet. — Robin Sloan