David Wong Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about David Wong

David Wong Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational David Wong quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Son, the greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him. I — David Wong

John. I would ask you what you are doing, but I fear you would actually tell me. — David Wong

You see, Frank found out the hard way that the dark things lurking in the night don't haunt old houses or abandoned ships. They haunt minds. — David Wong

Amy put her hand on mine, her other hand balled up in a fist on the table. — David Wong

The horizon was shitting a sun, casting a glow on a layer of fog that was settling in the low areas like puddles of ghost piss. — David Wong

Zoey didn't want to be paranoid, but there was something about the man in the loincloth made of charred doll heads that made her nervous. — David Wong

I heard a screeching like steam from a teapot, and realized it was me. — David Wong

John cursed himself. Or rather, he
cursed the past version of himself for so
thoughtlessly screwing over the current
version of himself. — David Wong

You know, I observed a man who masturbated until he bled. Did he want to do that? — David Wong

That's what it's like being poor - choices are something you sit around and dream about having, some day after you strike it rich. — David Wong

English should have a word for that feeling you get when you first wake up in a strange room and have no freaking idea where you are.
Hotezzlement? — David Wong

Do they know they make the honey for you? Or do they work tirelessly because they think its their own choice? — David Wong

When a man plans, a woman laughs. — David Wong

Children die every day because millions of us tell ourselves that caring is just as good as doing. — David Wong

The heavy monkey of sleep rested its warm, furry ass on my eyelids. — David Wong

the jet stream undulating over us like an angry snake god. — David Wong

What do normal people do when they're together? — David Wong

THE END IS NOT NEAR
IT HAS ALREADY HAPPENED
WE JUST DIDN'T CARE — David Wong

A cockroach has no soul. Yet it runs and eats and shits and fucks and breeds. It has no soul, yet it lives a full life. Just like you. — David Wong

Of all the dogs I've known in my life, I've never seen a better driver. — David Wong

Crotch-punchingly real! — David Wong

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked "That if Franz Kafka were here his head would explode?"
"Actually, yeah. — David Wong

Folding chairs were flying through the air as if propelled by dozens of invisible Bobby Knights. — David Wong

The floor was littered with paper cups and candy wrappers and cigarette butts and other teenager droppings. I saw a used condom under my shoe. — David Wong

A ghost sighting is usually nothing more than your brain trying to put a familiar face on something that does not have a face at all. — David Wong

A clean conscience is expensive, it's the reason most men have to live paycheck to paycheck. — David Wong

She burst into snakes. — David Wong

It was the pink elephant in the room, the thunderous fart in the elevator. — David Wong

Nobody involved in a conflict thinks they're the villain. — David Wong

Kittens will make your sad go away — David Wong

People like me know that there is no magic. There is only the grind. Work looks like magic to those unwilling to do it. — David Wong

That's what life is. Adjustment. — David Wong

Son, the greatest trick the Devil pulled was convincing the world there was only one of him. — David Wong

Are the most dangerous creatures the ones that use doors or the ones that don't? — David Wong

Snap. Ka-chunk. That's how I spell the sound of a doorknob turning. — David Wong

And - holy shit was this song bad. It was like the singer was stabbing my ear with a dagger made of dried turds. — David Wong

... all the king's doctors and all the king's pills couldn't make Frank's waking nightmares go away. — David Wong

My butt cheeks clenched so tightly that not even light could have escaped. — David Wong

Welcome to Undisclosed. Dreams
Interpreted for Beer. — David Wong

No, I don't, like, play an instrument or anything.I'm just ... well, you saw me at the beginning there. I was the guy that fell down and died. — David Wong

But remember, there are two ways to dehumanize someone: by dismissing them, and by idolizing them. — David Wong

Velvet Jesus faced a shadow man to my left. Laser beams fired from his eyes. — David Wong

He made the engine growl and told the headlights to fuck the night. — David Wong

My feet had never been so bare. Those little naked toes.That spider thing probably looks at those like the ears on a chocolate bunny. — David Wong

Okay, can somebody quickly just summarize for the shotgun department who it's okay and not okay to shoot? — David Wong

Life is a flickering candle we all carry around. A gust of wind, a meaningless accident, a microsecond of carelessness, and it's out. Forever. — David Wong

We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely? — David Wong

The most powerful impression a person can make is that they don't care if they make an impression. — David Wong

You know if you walked around the world, your hat would travel thirty-one feet farther than your shoes? — David Wong

With a bassy thump and a smell like burnt sulfur, Shitload farted himself far into the air. — David Wong

My melon soul
Crushed by your Gallagher of apathy — David Wong

And you know what happens when a ship gets too many rats on board? It sinks. That's what.
I wondered if a ship had ever really sunk that way. — David Wong

Arnie sighed and for a quick moment looked genuinely sympathetic that someone could dream up something this elaborately sad. — David Wong

Hmmm . . . what would Marcy's boobs do in this situation? — David Wong

Whoops,' said John. 'I tossed our ball into another universe.'
'You wanna go home?'
'Yeah, just let me get my ball. — David Wong

Please don't not panic!" The — David Wong

Around us, the disembodied human limbs were piling up, forming a circle around the fountain, fusing themselves to each other like Satan's LEGO set. — David Wong

No. We talked about this. I'm going home to eat a pie. — David Wong

Sound filled the room, a crystal melody that could lift any human heart and turn away any devil.
It was "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake. — David Wong

I am not the star of a zombie movie. I am the guy in the background who gets eaten in the first montage. — David Wong

He stared at the gadget in his hand and said, So it's a magnet for cats? Hey! It's a pussy mag - — David Wong

The kittens will make your sad go away." The — David Wong

Okay, there is no possible combination of English words that would form a dumber plan than that. — David Wong

Just go. When you're on your deathbed you're gonna wish you could get back all the time you spent waiting on other people. — David Wong

I'm scared David"
"That's good, because there's lots to be afraid of — David Wong

She wasn't some little princess from the suburbs who just graduated college with a humanities degree, she knew what people were really like. — David Wong

That ability to see the right choice, but not until several hours have passed since making the wrong one? That's what makes a person a dumbass, folks. — David Wong

My shame circuits burned out from overuse years ago. — David Wong

There was a faded brown stain on the carpet and I wondered if a patient had once taken a shit in here in the middle of a session. I — David Wong

You know what the scariest part is about people like him? Everything he's doing makes perfect sense in his own mind. — David Wong

Show me your knife.' Man don't got a knife, I got no use for him - it's the universal tool. — David Wong

Some would have doubted their sanity at this point, but by now the part of my mind that issued doubts about my sanity had melted from overuse. — David Wong

What's up. This is Dave, the one you saw in your hallway. He's not a psychotic killer or anything," he lied — David Wong

John ducked casually across some DO NOT DUCK CASUALLY ACROSS THIS TAPE tape — David Wong

The gun without the training just means you've given your attacker a free gun. — David Wong

Most of the rest of the crowd was lined up in front of food carts selling kebabs, pizza cupcakes, and ice cream churros. — David Wong

Cops do this every day, rifling closets and digging through your dildo drawer. — David Wong

You can't focus on death, or failure. Otherwise you're surrendering greatness to all the people too dumb to contemplate it. — David Wong

Falling in love with a house or a car or a pair of shoes, it was a dead end. You save your love for the things that can love you back. — David Wong

Welcome to freakdom, Dave. It'll be time to start a Web site soon, where you'll type out everything in one huge paragraph. — David Wong

When they write the sequel to the Bible, that shit is definitely gonna be in there. — David Wong

Which would prove I'm a monster, Arnie? Sacrificing the people I love for the fight? Or walking away from the fight to save the people i love? — David Wong

ANYBODY ORDER A JAILBREAK WITH A SIDE OF SHOTGUN? — David Wong

Anyhow, Molly died, in the way that all really good things die, fast and brutal and for no apparent reason. — David Wong

I want no part of this nonsense. This whole city is a butt that farts horror. — David Wong

Your 'let's remain calm and stay put' speech would be a lot more convincing if you weren't giving it in front of a pile of burning skeletons. — David Wong

We fixed him just by telling him that he wasn't crazy, that the horrors he was seeing were real. He seemed oddly comforted by that. He was a lawyer. — David Wong

My next novel will be the third volume in the John Dies at the End series, and in fact may already exist, again depending on when you're reading this. — David Wong

You see, time is an ocean, not a garden hose. Space is a puff of smoke, a wisp of cloud. — David Wong

John jolted awake to find himself staring down a shotgun wielded by his greatest enemy: himself. — David Wong

I walked right into a girl, broadsided her, felled her like a tree. I saw, to my horror, that it was Jennifer Lopez. — David Wong

New technology is not good or evil in and of itself. It's all about how people choose to use it. — David Wong

Molech swung and kicked and slaughtered Mexican food with every mighty blow, while a quarter billion extremely confused Blink users watched. And — David Wong

Something coming back from the dead was almost always bad news. Movies taught me that. For every one Jesus you get a million zombies. — David Wong

Gullibility is a knife at the throat of civilization. — David Wong

No matter where you go, management is always a bunch of cheap bastards. — David Wong

Feast or famine. My plate is suddenly full. — David Wong Louie

Somewhere, Charles Darwin nodded and smiled a knowing smile. — David Wong

You don't realize how terrifying the world can be for someone like that, someone who would rather stay in a familiar hole than an unfamiliar mansion. — David Wong

We moved in silence for a moment and I said, "How did we screw this all up so badly, John?"
He shook his head. "We always find a way. — David Wong