Darynda Jones Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Darynda Jones

Darynda Jones Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Darynda Jones quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

He was like chocolate-covered heroin, and I was an addict through and through. — Darynda Jones

You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.
T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH, TWICE? - T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly. — Darynda Jones

He turned the corner and flipped me off at the same time. See? Men could multitask. I was so proud of him. — Darynda Jones

She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. - E. CORONA Two — Darynda Jones

One thing I'd learned growing up: People were never, ever, ever 100 percent honest about their feelings.
Never. — Darynda Jones

If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable. — Darynda Jones

Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes. — Darynda Jones

The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt — Darynda Jones

If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact. — Darynda Jones

You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't. — Darynda Jones

There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated.
Charley — Darynda Jones

Just to believe in yourself. Respect yourself and who you are and don't ever let anyone change that. — Darynda Jones

I have depth. I've read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. My bad
Charley Davidson. — Darynda Jones

I guess it's a good thing you can have a relationship with a departed," he said. "Why's that?" "We can still see each other after I die. — Darynda Jones

Lead me not into temptation. Follow me instead! I know a shortcut! - T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented. — Darynda Jones

I'm currently unsupervised
It frisks me out too but the possibilities are endless — Darynda Jones

IRONY: THE OPPOSITE OF WRINKLY. - T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

I was like a small but devastating plague upon humanity. — Darynda Jones

LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt — Darynda Jones

You need to listen to what Mom has to say." "No, I don't." "She deserves that much, Charley. — Darynda Jones

DON'T GO BUYING TROUBLE.
IT'S FREE AND IT KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE.
- T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

Rey'azikeen."
He'd offered me one last glance and winked a microsecond before he was gone. — Darynda Jones

Gemma," I said, adding a singsong whine to my voice, "now I can't scare her. You can't go around telling people about me. — Darynda Jones

Restraint: not just for sex anymore. — Darynda Jones

Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt) — Darynda Jones

This place is like crazy on crackers. — Darynda Jones

Paperbacks make the world go round. Okay, maybe only my world. Either way paperbacks rock! — Darynda Jones

I have a perfect body, it's in my trunk.
T-shirt — Darynda Jones

jealousy was in a whole category by itself. One that sat right between instability and insecurity. — Darynda Jones

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

NEVER BE AFRAID TO DART AROUND IN PUBLIC, HUMMING THE MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG. — Darynda Jones

Remember, it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eyeball, and then it's, "Hey! free eyeball!" - T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

It isn't the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop. — Darynda Jones

Don't judge me because I'm quiet.
No one plans a murder out loud. — Darynda Jones

Whichever you choose, you're the one who has to deal with the consequences. So make your decision wisely, — Darynda Jones

After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me. — Darynda Jones

That took balls."
"Please," I said with a snort, "that took ovaries. Of which I have two. — Darynda Jones

I keep forgetting your IQ is higher than my bank balance."
"That's not saying much. — Darynda Jones

APPLICANTS MUST PASS AN ORAL EXAM BEFORE ADVANCING TO THE NEXT COURSE. - NOVELTY UNDERWEAR — Darynda Jones

Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick ... — Darynda Jones

Aw. She thought I was fruity. I got that a lot. — Darynda Jones

Does workman's comp cover paper cuts?" "Do chickens lay snowballs? — Darynda Jones

Help someone when they're in trouble, and they'll remember you when they're in trouble again. - FORTUNE COOKIE — Darynda Jones

Don't expect everything to be handed to me. Just set it down wherever. - T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet — Darynda Jones

If he didn't hate me so much and he wasn't an evil supernatural being, I'd be on him like black on Cookie's toast.
That woman could not make toast. — Darynda Jones

I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

Winching was apparently a guy thing. As was wenching. — Darynda Jones

We really should get some X-rays," the EMT said.
"You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts," I said to the EMT. — Darynda Jones

One day, I'm going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson."
I had no idea she was into anal. — Darynda Jones

Brownies were like spare batteries. One could never have too many in the house. — Darynda Jones

He was angry with me once again. Men and their mood swings. Women had nothing on them. — Darynda Jones

Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker — Darynda Jones

You were the one who hit me on the roof?
I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time. — Darynda Jones

Misery loves company, which explains my sudden popularity. - T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones

And just how, exactly, do you feed off the souls of humans? Is it like a vitamin-deficiency thing? — Darynda Jones

Justice may be blind, but she was an awesome elixir. — Darynda Jones

She said her mother has a strap-on named Event Horizon. — Darynda Jones

Four out of three people are bad at math. — Darynda Jones

Dude," I said, leaning over the desk, "I'm about as psychic as a carrot. — Darynda Jones

Thor's Morning Wood — Darynda Jones

When life hands you lemons say,
"Lemons? What else have you got?"
- bumper sticker — Darynda Jones

Read. Write. Read some more. Explore the universe through your writing. Practice and learn what moves you and what doesn't. — Darynda Jones

His presence made the air crackle with electricity, mostly because of all the spontaneous ovulating going on when he walked in. — Darynda Jones

Trying not to look at his penis was proving harder than I'd thought it would be. — Darynda Jones

Is a frog's ass watertight? — Darynda Jones

The fact that there's a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. - — Darynda Jones

The past is a blur, like fog only blurrier. — Darynda Jones

Tequila often gave people the desire to tackle the impossible. It did not, however, make impossible possible — Darynda Jones

Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists. — Darynda Jones

Who is Dr. A. von Holstein? And is he related, by chance, to a race of cows? — Darynda Jones

Deaf people talk with their mouths full. — Darynda Jones

It was one thing to die. It was another to lose one's soul. To come to a complete end. To exist no longer. — Darynda Jones

Showers were God's reward for working hard enough to get dirty. — Darynda Jones

In three hundred feet, turn right, Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything. — Darynda Jones

Reyes and I sat arm in arm in the back of the rented SUV. He seemed relieved. Happy. — Darynda Jones

If god is watching us,
the least we can do is be entertaining.
BUMPER STICKER — Darynda Jones

Who on planet Earth didn't have aspirin in the house? — Darynda Jones

You look like heaven," he said. "That's weird, because you look like hell. — Darynda Jones

If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night. — Darynda Jones

SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word — Darynda Jones

If I'm upset, hold me and tell me how beautiful I am.
If I growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate.
- BEST. ADVICE. EVER. — Darynda Jones

Cook, at that moment in time, I would have sold my body for a mocha latte — Darynda Jones

Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm. — Darynda Jones

I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I ... — Darynda Jones

He wants my head on a platter." "You just make friends wherever you go, don't you?" "It's weird, right? — Darynda Jones

Because I don't deserve your touch. — Darynda Jones

If you can master the opening, you will be leaps and bounds ahead of the competition. — Darynda Jones

We are all tainted by the decisions we make." "And the taste of our souls reflects that?" "It does. — Darynda Jones

As it stood, I was having to do way more legwork than I'd planned when I decided on these boots. — Darynda Jones

I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken.
Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried. — Darynda Jones

That made sense. Not many couples lasted after losing a child. — Darynda Jones

I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations. — Darynda Jones

Try writing an entire story with only a thousand words at your disposal. It's a terrific lesson in economy and precession. — Darynda Jones

The fastest way to a man's heart is by tearing a hole through his rib cage_T-Shirt — Darynda Jones

A lot of people are alive because I shed too much hair to get away with murder. — Darynda Jones

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train. — Darynda Jones