Darynda Jones Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Darynda Jones
Darynda Jones Quotes & Sayings
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You can't fix stupid, but you can numb it was a 2 by 4.T-SHIRT — Darynda Jones
WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU GET SCARED HALF TO DEATH, TWICE? - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.
— Darynda Jones
He turned the corner and flipped me off at the same time. See? Men could multitask. I was so proud of him.
— Darynda Jones
She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. - E. CORONA Two
— Darynda Jones
One thing I'd learned growing up: People were never, ever, ever 100 percent honest about their feelings.Never. — Darynda Jones
Whatever makes your balloon red, Swopes.
— Darynda Jones
The police never find it as funny as you do.-T-Shirt
— Darynda Jones
If you must eat a banana in public, never make eye contact.
— Darynda Jones
You totally need to watch the news.""Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't. — Darynda Jones
There was nothing like a trip to the gynecologist to make one feel just a little violated.Charley — Darynda Jones
Just to believe in yourself. Respect yourself and who you are and don't ever let anyone change that.
— Darynda Jones
I have depth. I've read Proust. No, wait, that was Pooh. Winnie the Pooh. My badCharley Davidson. — Darynda Jones
I guess it's a good thing you can have a relationship with a departed," he said. "Why's that?" "We can still see each other after I die.
— Darynda Jones
I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
— Darynda Jones
IRONY: THE OPPOSITE OF WRINKLY. - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
I was like a small but devastating plague upon humanity.
— Darynda Jones
LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt
— Darynda Jones
You need to listen to what Mom has to say." "No, I don't." "She deserves that much, Charley.
— Darynda Jones
Rey'azikeen."He'd offered me one last glance and winked a microsecond before he was gone. — Darynda Jones
Gemma," I said, adding a singsong whine to my voice, "now I can't scare her. You can't go around telling people about me.
— Darynda Jones
Restraint: not just for sex anymore.
— Darynda Jones
Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. (T-Shirt)
— Darynda Jones
This place is like crazy on crackers.
— Darynda Jones
Paperbacks make the world go round. Okay, maybe only my world. Either way paperbacks rock!
— Darynda Jones
I have a perfect body, it's in my trunk.T-shirt — Darynda Jones
jealousy was in a whole category by itself. One that sat right between instability and insecurity.
— Darynda Jones
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
NEVER BE AFRAID TO DART AROUND IN PUBLIC, HUMMING THE MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG.
— Darynda Jones
Remember, it's all fun and games until somebody loses an eyeball, and then it's, "Hey! free eyeball!" - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
It isn't the fall that will kill you, but the sudden stop.
— Darynda Jones
Don't judge me because I'm quiet.No one plans a murder out loud. — Darynda Jones
Whichever you choose, you're the one who has to deal with the consequences. So make your decision wisely,
— Darynda Jones
After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
— Darynda Jones
That took balls.""Please," I said with a snort, "that took ovaries. Of which I have two. — Darynda Jones
APPLICANTS MUST PASS AN ORAL EXAM BEFORE ADVANCING TO THE NEXT COURSE. - NOVELTY UNDERWEAR
— Darynda Jones
Man, that woman was quick when she wanted to be. But put her behind the wheel of a Buick ...
— Darynda Jones
Aw. She thought I was fruity. I got that a lot.
— Darynda Jones
Help someone when they're in trouble, and they'll remember you when they're in trouble again. - FORTUNE COOKIE
— Darynda Jones
Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet
— Darynda Jones
I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT
— Darynda Jones
Winching was apparently a guy thing. As was wenching.
— Darynda Jones
We really should get some X-rays," the EMT said. "You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts," I said to the EMT. — Darynda Jones
One day, I'm going to get to the bottom of you, Charley Davidson."I had no idea she was into anal. — Darynda Jones
He was angry with me once again. Men and their mood swings. Women had nothing on them.
— Darynda Jones
You were the one who hit me on the roof?I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time. — Darynda Jones
And just how, exactly, do you feed off the souls of humans? Is it like a vitamin-deficiency thing?
— Darynda Jones
Justice may be blind, but she was an awesome elixir.
— Darynda Jones
She said her mother has a strap-on named Event Horizon.
— Darynda Jones
Four out of three people are bad at math.
— Darynda Jones
Thor's Morning Wood
— Darynda Jones
Read. Write. Read some more. Explore the universe through your writing. Practice and learn what moves you and what doesn't.
— Darynda Jones
His presence made the air crackle with electricity, mostly because of all the spontaneous ovulating going on when he walked in.
— Darynda Jones
Is a frog's ass watertight?
— Darynda Jones
The fact that there's a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers. -
— Darynda Jones
The past is a blur, like fog only blurrier.
— Darynda Jones
Tequila often gave people the desire to tackle the impossible. It did not, however, make impossible possible
— Darynda Jones
Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists.
— Darynda Jones
Deaf people talk with their mouths full.
— Darynda Jones
It was one thing to die. It was another to lose one's soul. To come to a complete end. To exist no longer.
— Darynda Jones
Showers were God's reward for working hard enough to get dirty.
— Darynda Jones
In three hundred feet, turn right, Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything.
— Darynda Jones
Reyes and I sat arm in arm in the back of the rented SUV. He seemed relieved. Happy.
— Darynda Jones
Who on planet Earth didn't have aspirin in the house?
— Darynda Jones
SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word
— Darynda Jones
If I'm upset, hold me and tell me how beautiful I am.If I growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate.
- BEST. ADVICE. EVER. — Darynda Jones
Pretending to drink coffee was similar to faking an orgasm.
— Darynda Jones
I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I ...
— Darynda Jones
He wants my head on a platter." "You just make friends wherever you go, don't you?" "It's weird, right?
— Darynda Jones
Because I don't deserve your touch.
— Darynda Jones
If you can master the opening, you will be leaps and bounds ahead of the competition.
— Darynda Jones
We are all tainted by the decisions we make." "And the taste of our souls reflects that?" "It does.
— Darynda Jones
As it stood, I was having to do way more legwork than I'd planned when I decided on these boots.
— Darynda Jones
I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken.Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried. — Darynda Jones
That made sense. Not many couples lasted after losing a child.
— Darynda Jones
I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
— Darynda Jones
Try writing an entire story with only a thousand words at your disposal. It's a terrific lesson in economy and precession.
— Darynda Jones
Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
— Darynda Jones