Cow Humor Quotes: top 64 famous quotes about Cow Humor

Cow Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Cow Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I'm still convinced you're doing my GTO, you bastard. — J.R. Ward

What's proper workplace etiquette for picking up computer and tossing out window? Open window first or break glass? — Abigail Roux

He's cutting off circulation to my balls! If you want great grandchildren, woman, do something! Joshua sputtered — R.L. Mathewson

As you know, I don't believe in fear, just an invention by men so they get all the money and good jobs ... — Marian Keyes

Don't threaten me with a good time. — Michael Anthony

I miss my suits... — Eoin Colfer

I thought you guys were doing some kind of secret role-playing shit. — M.D. Saperstein

The girl in your class who suggests that this year the Drama Club put on The Bald Soprano will be a thorn in people's sides all of her life. — Fran Lebowitz

When the world is mine, then you all will be the 99.9%. — Scott Jonathan Nixon

I don't even want to know someone who isn't barely hanging on by a thread. — Amy Schumer

We seemed to be trapped in an episode of One Life To Waste. It's all very dull. — Cassandra Clare

It's raining like a cow relieving itself. — Rosen Topuzov

The way you might fear a cow sitting down in the middle of the street during rush hour, that's how I fear Canadians. — Maria Semple

Then what are you? An electronic Hannibal Lector? You can't eat my liver with fava beans through a modem, you know. — Dean Koontz

First Pallas and now you," the gray-haired man said, shaking his head at Nick. "It's like I'm running a goddamn dating service around here. — Julie James

Does anyone like a fat old cow?"

"Maybe other fat old cows? — Allan Dare Pearce

Yeah. You know what I think?"
What?"
So intense was Tibby, she had practically shoved the phone into her ear cavity.
She has big boobies. — Ann Brashares

Mad cow disease? A crazy hunger for blood. There had to be a reasonable explanation for all of this. And there's no such thing as vampires, right? — Alisha Costanzo

Do close your mouth. You look like a cow that's being artificially inseminated. — Nick Wilgus

-"He loved her ... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."
-"It was stupid. — Lloyd Alexander

Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds. — Dave Barry

If every one of you was to clean before his own front door, all would be clean of cow flops. — Winston Graham

I'm not sure I've turned your Commander inside out, but I can assure you if that iron skillet was empty, I would bring him down a peg or two. — Julia Mills

Hunters will tell you that a moose is a wily and ferocious forest creature. Nonsense. A moose is a cow drawn by a three-year-old. — Bill Bryson

I'd rather hug Magic Johnson after he rolled around in barbed wire. — Jim Norton

I think it needs work. Like all your other songs."
"Yeah, well, your face will need some work after I give you a good beatin'. — Kami Garcia

The truth is what we say it is ... prove to me this desk is not a cow! — Ray S. Jones

The most powerful sex organ was the brain, you know what that means
Poor Justin! — Sarah Strohmeyer

I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline. — Michael Summers

The path of my life is strewn with cow pats from the devil's own satanic herd! — Rowan Atkinson

All pomp and show." Anjali's glare at the house would've exploded bricks if she'd had superhuman powers. "A fat cow needs a big barn. — Nicola Marsh

Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze 'em? — Bill Watterson

Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward."
"Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger

You put cow dung on my face?' 'Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is so clear? — Renita D'Silva

A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies! — Bill Maher

Gwynned lies two days westwards; still further south, the weregeld calls. Mayhap with All-Father Woden's favour, my deeds may yet inspire the skalds. — George Gordon Byron

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? — Steven Wright

He hated YouTube. He wishes it would die of mad cow disease. — Andrea Speed

You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket. — Nicole McKay

Sorry, maybe this is the head injury talking, but ... what? — Stacey Kade

His lips look like two worms fucking. — George R R Martin

When the boogie man goes to sleep he checks his closet for me — Chuck Norris

Humor is the pensiveness of wit. — Robert Aris Willmott

B, hows your aim? — Quinn Loftis

Apparently it takes, like, forty-seven muscles to frown. Flippin' the bird' s a hell of a lot easier. — Lois Greiman

Did they look like psychos? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them - I don't give a fuck how crazy they are! — Seth Gecko

Luck is merely a product of the happily delusional mind. — Lois Greiman

Humanity's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there. — Terry Pratchett

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning, and you think you are an onion, this is your car, (about the BMW X3). — Jeremy Clarkson

[ ... ] whose round face was a sad pink and white topographical map of adolescence. — John L. Parker Jr.

I was hoping against hope he'd refill his Prozac so we could be in love again, but, sadly, that never happened. — Piper Faust

Out of the way! We are in the throes of an exceptional emergency! This is no occassion for sport- there is lace at stake! (Ms. Pole) — Elizabeth Gaskell

Did you hear that! Yuki, the heartless Yuki! Heartless Yuki has begged me with tears to let him visit my shop! — Natsuki Takaya

The Quit Man cometh, his minion at his heels. — John Corey Whaley

Southern hospitality and Amish cooking - Ya'll Come Back, Danki. — Karen Harper

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. — A. Whitney Brown

I know the fucking Bible, and there ain't no fucking Book of Leviathan. — Dan Simmons

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny. — Brandon Sanderson

Deborah's little house was lavishly decorated in I-have-no-life modern. — Jeff Lindsay

Looks like it's game time," Shame said. "Beautiful day for some ass kicking, don't you think? — Devon Monk

Well, how did you die, then?" the old man finally asked.
"Die?" Matthew threw back. "Are you crazy? I'm not dead. I'm just very late. — J. Tonzelli

If you hear a different drummer, don't march - dance! — Carolyn V. Hamilton

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience. — Arthur Schopenhauer

I know they say that a stiff dick has no conscience, but I tell you now that some cunts have teeth ... — Stephen King