Country Humor Quotes
Collection of top 56 famous quotes about Country Humor
Country Humor Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Country Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
— Mary Louise Cecilia "Texas" Guinan
The students at Yale came from all different backgrounds and all parts of the country. Within months, I knew many of them.
— George W. Bush
Guns are our friends because in a country without guns, I'm what's known as "prey." All females are.
— Ann Coulter
Louella remarked that when foreign nations had intercourse with this country they knew they had been intercoursed.
— Jack Woodford
We goan start promptly at seven o'clock, so be sure to take care of all your bodily needs and functions before we get started.
— Charmaine T. Davis
Lebanon is the only country where media kills more than bombs, injures more than guns ... and at last they say freedom of speech ...
— Hussein S. Hariri
Did you know that every time a country song is played, a cute little puppy keels over dead?
— Nicole Williams
Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It's the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.
— Chelsea Handler
We'll let our friends be the peacekeepers and the great country called America will be the pacemakers.
— George W. Bush
Thanksgiving day was a holiday when everybody in the country was expected to express gratitude to the creator of the universe mainly for food.
— Kurt Vonnegut
Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back.
— Richard Belzer
The South has more of a disproportionate amount of irony on T-shirts than any other region in the country.
— David Cross
A collective spasm of carbophobia seized the country, ...
— Michael Pollan
No dumb bastard ever won a war by going out and dying for his country. He won it by making some other dumb bastard die for his country.
— George S. Patton Jr.
In many countries there are particular places to which devils more especially resort. In Prussia there is an infinite number of evil spirits.
— Martin Luther
In this country we have no place for hyphenated Americans.
— Theodore Roosevelt
There is not a man of common sense who would not chuse to be agreeable in company; and yet, strange as it may seem, very few are
— The Town And Country Magazine. Vol. 11, 1779
You can find your way across this country using burger joints the way a navigator uses stars.
— Charles Kuralt
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
— George Burns
America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
— Dennis Miller
That is a considerable amount of puppets. But ... [Proceeds to summon one hundred puppets of his own] With this, I took down a whole country
— Masashi Kishimoto
With a sense of humor like that, you could make a living as a garbage man anywhere in the country.
— Jim Butcher
If you talk bad about country music, it's like saying bad things about my momma. Them's fightin' words
— Dolly Parton
90% of the work in this country is doneby people who don't feel good. — Theodore Roosevelt
Oh, come on. What's that thing you say? The past is another country. You make out with different people there.
— Sarah Rees Brennan
Do you pray for the senators, Dr. Hale?' someone asked the chaplain. No, I look at the senators and I pray for the country.
— Edward Everett Hale
The United States was a big country where everybody wore funny t-shirts and ate too much.
— Adam Rex
One boy's a boy; two boys be half a boy, and three boys be no boy at all', ran the old country saying.
— Flora Thompson
Military Wives - Sacrificing Months of Sex for the Country.
— Aditi Mathur Kumar
Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country.
— George W. Bush
This is a free country, madam. We have a right to share your privacy in a public place.
— Peter Ustinov
Last year we drove across the country ... We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip ... I don't remember what it was ...
— Steven Wright
I may not remember my name or what country I live in, but you and that pie is something I will never forget.
— Kathryn Stockett
Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight.
— Johnny Cash
City people. They may know how to street fight but they don't know how to wade through manure.
— Melina Marchetta
When things in the country are in the pits, start a war with somebody.
— Vladimir Lorchenkov
In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.
— Graydon Carter
He gave a wry smile. With all this vigilant vigils on virginity, you would think the country would have controlled its population by now.
— Mallika Nawal
Twenty-four feet is puddlenuts in Giant Country.
— Roald Dahl
But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!"
— Bill Bailey
