Comedy Humor Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Comedy Humor

Comedy Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Comedy Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Well I beat things around with my stick once in awhile. — Kira4Inu

Comedy is not the opposite of darkness, but its natural bedfellow. Pain makes laughter necessary; laughter makes pain tolerable. — Mindy Greenstein

On the first floor, the first rule of a rumor was humor. — Pawan Mishra

I think hip-hop does a very good job of infusing comedy and humor and wit into music, a lot more than other genres. — Carrie Brownstein

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break hearts. — Tim Minchin

It's true - there are only, like, two songs about rainbows, including that one. He should be asking why there are so few songs about rainbows. — Cheryl Cory

The first rule of book club - is that nobody wants to talk about book club. — Douglas Lewis

Gentlemen do not carry a cane or a hat? No gloves?"
"Gentleman may still wear them, but I'm afraid the problem is that there aren't many left. — Camilla Isley

Love is the canvas covering the furniture that you've become a part of — Josh Stern

Thing is, I am not a big fan of hovers. I firmly believe that if man was meant to fly we'd have feathers, rubber bones, or better insurance coverage. — John Zakour

I wouldn't be caught dead sacrificing myself for this country. — Sol Luckman

People keep making excuses, that's why everthing happens for a reason. — Roy Saputra

'Foo Kyu' is just a very unfortunate cultural coincidence."
"Just think about his poor son, 'Foo Kyu Two.' — John Zakour

Nahum bobbed again. 'My crest is cropped by croaking cranes. I go to drown in doleful dumps, dead-drunk with drearihead. — John Bellairs

Agres!" she hissed again even louder this time "WHAT!" Tria smiled "Oh good you are alive. — Charon Lloyd-Roberts

I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor. — Joel McHale

Comedy is a man in trouble. And without it, there's no humor. — Jerry Lewis

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up. — Carroll Bryant

Sleepwalking is the perfect exorcise for lazy people — Benny Bellamacina

What exactly does the I in FBI stand for?" ~Maggie Mae Castro — Beth Yarnall

Eventually, you're gonna have to let someone in. — Cassia Leo

The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA. — The Covert Comic

Great. This girl was going to seriously mess with my ability to stay on parole. ~Maggie Mae Castro — Beth Yarnall

Who are you and how did you get in here?" "I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith. — Leslie Nielsen

Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget. — Carroll Bryant

I was supposed to write a romantic comedy, but my characters broke up. — Ann Brashares

i prefer to think of the good times. Like when you held my hair as I was vomiting into a bucket. — Leigh Bardugo

She was thinking of doing a little Cuervo therapy. — Kelly Moran

I'm happy that I have brought laughter because I have been shown by many the value of it in so many lives, in so many ways. — Lucille Ball

-"He loved her ... It was noble of him. It was beautiful."
-"It was stupid. — Lloyd Alexander

Humor is very interesting to me. My films are not comedies, but there's comedy in them from time to time, absurdities, just like in real life. — David Lynch

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. — Mel Brooks

She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and the gun she was holding gave me a bad case of barrel envy. — Patrick Major Dallas OR

Everyone has a secret. — Kristine Cuevas

It's not great when your husband thinks the only guy who can talk to you, is some other guy. — Jonas Eriksson

I can't go on, I'll go on. — Samuel Beckett

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt. — Erma Bombeck

She's eighty-four and still has all her teeth. She keeps them in a little wooden box on her dressing table. — Simon Hugh Wheeler

I just looked at the calendar and realized- my days are numbered — Johnny Moscato

Riley: give me a romantic comedy any day.
rhoan: your jest a girly-girl at heart, arent you?
riley: takes one to know one, bro. — Keri Arthur

That was 1993 grunge in suburbia. This was 2003 hell in Harlem. (Dark City Lights) — Eve Kagan

In my book an erection constitutes personal growth. — Amunhotep El Bey

No one ever thinks about the guy who was raised by the guy who was raised by wolves. — Demetri Martin

I felt bad for the girls in my school, who flocked to prom like it was the second coming of Christ, complete with double-rainbows and unicorns. — G.G. Silverman

I have so much hate that it has turned into love. — Margaret Cho

Nobody touches my ding dongs! — Ray S. Jones

Never let other people bring you down let Jesus be the one who brings you down, because he knows what he is doing — Skye Daphne

Take care of your husband and do your "homework." For every headache you have there will be a women out there with an aspirin in her purse. — Jane Jenkins Herlong

Them Frenchies!'
'Unchristian, that's what I call 'em,' responded Mr. Stubbs severely. 'I fair compassionate that wench. — Georgette Heyer

If you see the light at the end
of the tunnel, you're looking
through binoculars the wrong
way — Josh Stern

It's hard to sleep when you have thirty two million quids worth of stolen jewellery hidden under the mattress. — Peter Houston

Stop," he murmured, or at least that's what he meant to say. It came out sounding more like "Yes," which probably wasn't the same thing at all. — Tawna Fenske

You have a very attractive revenge streak in you. I like it. A lot." ~Maggie Mae Castro to FBI Special Agent Clive Poole — Beth Yarnall

If you've got the comedy eye, you can look at any situation and see the humor in it while others don't. — Garry Marshall

...Mrs. Percy understood that staying beautiful all day long is the most important aspect of being married... — Tevin Hansen

I wondered about my inner child. In fact, I was troubled. Did I even have an inner child, I asked myself, given that, in essence, I'd just been born? — Sol Luckman

Nothing gives you confidence like being a member of a small, weirdly specific, hard-to-find demographic. — Mindy Kaling

I love the movie "Titanic." It's my favorite romantic comedy! — Troy Bisson

The truth is like sunlight: It causes cancer. — J. Richard Singleton

It's like a fairy tale. . . on crack! — Hillary DePiano

You called the guy you're supposed to rescue a nerd, and you just referenced Star Trek. You don't find that a bit nerdy? — A.J. Wiliams

Displacement of 'What goes around, comes around' is Zero. — Gaurav Rao

So, if there are any couples here this evening having a secret extramarital affair, I encourage you to breed. — Alison Larkin

To call that writing, madam, is an insult to quills and ink across the world. — Julia Quinn

I was so drunk I couldn't tell a vagina from a bullet hole — Andres Aloi

There's no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor's yard. — Dan Florence

The old Janey only drank cheap wine and light beer. The new Janey is classy, prefers cocktails, and even drinks alone. — J.C. Patrick

Secret 7591.42.21. Avoiding weasel words in your intelligence analysis isn't easy when your intelligence analysis is about weasels. — The Covert Comic

How can you love someone who doesn't think they deserve to be loved? — Cassia Leo

One of the many downsides to being a drug addict is never really knowing if the stuff is real. — Rebecca McNutt

There's no such thing as free kittens. — Brian P. Cleary

What you call idiot points, I call awesome dollars. ~Seth — Brandon Mull

I should think a dead language would be rather boring, socially
speaking. — Sol Luckman

Laughter is the best medicine — Chase Soundly

Every Friday is black where I work. — The Covert Comic

I do find things funny. When you see life through the eyes of someone with a good sense of humor, which my grandmother did, life is a human comedy. — George Takei

I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me. — Shannon L. Alder

Great Gates almighty," HARV said inside my brain. "I go off-line for a few nanos and the whole world goes to DOS. — John Zakour

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'. — Bill Maher

If you love something, let it go.
If you don't love something, definitely let it go.
Basically, just drop everything, who cares. — B.J. Novak

Those of you who are not aware of my brilliant career as a stand up comic, I'm not aware of it either so we might well wonder what we're doing here. — Alan Rickman

It's a very important skill set for an actor to be able to bring the humor into any moment, whether you're doing drama or comedy. — Nathaniel Buzolic

Make your life the greatest story ever told! — Marie Guillaume

A stitch in time saves uncontrollable blood loss — Simon Haynes

The most I can hope for is to die in a pose that confuses future archaeologists. — Yahtzee Croshaw

I gave you three proofs of witchcraft. A cat that drinks blood! A horse that talks! And a man who propagates POODLES! — Richard Curtis

Our specialty was exasperated dignity and the discombombulation of Authority. — Mack Sennett

Never second guess yourself. Or do, maybe. Whatever you feel good about. — Dan Florence

Then maybe you'll believe me when I say ... you're pretty fucking special, Laney Hill. — Cassia Leo

If you drink anymore, you're going to be positively flammable. — Michaela Haze

Not only is love blind, it's a little hard of hearing. — Brian P. Cleary

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. — Sid Caesar

I knew I was in deep shit. I didn't know how deep - just that I still hadn't touched bottom. — Sol Luckman

I'd rather be stung to death by a bunch of piss ants. ~Synola Harper, You're Busting My Nuptials — Ann Everett

You know what love means? It means loving the person you are now and not the person you want someone to be or the person they will be. — Samantha Stroh Bailey

You can't draw lines in the sand like that. Humour's a tsunami that doesn't care about your little lines. — S.A. Tawks

Some people seem quite destitute a sense of humour. — George Grossmith

Time heals all wounds. Unless they're infected. Like gangrene. That shit'll kill you. — Johnny Moscato

One does not have humor. It has you. — Larry Gelbart

Everyone has their personal topics. My comedy has always been very strong on observational humor, it stems from what I see every day in my life. — Iliza Shlesinger