Chris Rock Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Chris Rock

Chris Rock Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Chris Rock quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing. — Chris Rock

A comedian has to live in his head. All this comedy comes from a lonely place. When you're surrounded by an entourage, you're not living in your head. — Chris Rock

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you. — Chris Rock

If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window. — Chris Rock

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four. — Chris Rock

Women need food, water, and compliments
That's right.
And an occasional pair of shoes. — Chris Rock

I'll go with the guy with one house. The guy with one house is scared about losing his house. — Chris Rock

I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad. — Chris Rock

I used to live in Chris Rock's former apartment. I've got some junk mail for him if he wants it. — Adrian Tomine

When you're white, the sky's the limit. When you're black, the limit's the sky. — Chris Rock

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them. — Chris Rock

Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life. — Chris Rock

Everything's funny - in the right context and done by the right person. — Chris Rock

Babies don't know who's rich and who's poor. You love 'em and they're happy. — Chris Rock

The most offensive thing that ever occurred in 'The New Yorker' would be, like, the mildest thing at a Chris Rock concert. — Robert Mankoff

I like working with modern sounds in the studio as much as I'm happy to work with a basic rock n' roll format. — Chris Squire

When I'm 40, too old to be a rock star, I plan to go back to college to study classical music. — Chris Martin

You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched. — Chris Rock

Chris Rock is a good friend of mine, and he is hysterical. — Kid Rock

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either. — Chris Rock

I'd like to be in a Spike Jonze movie. But I live in a Nancy Meyers movie. — Chris Rock

I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show. — Chris Rock

People like to compare something to something that they know. Even with Chris Rock, they say he's like Richard Pryor or Eddie Murphy. — Hannibal Buress

The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs. — Chris Rock

I love being famous. It's almost like being white. — Chris Rock

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day. — Chris Rock

Men lie the most. Men lie all the time. — Chris Rock

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense — Chris Rock

You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. — Chris Rock

When I was a kid, I wanted to be either a rock star or a wrestler. — Chris Jericho

Doing something really profound and personal is bigger than a fad.
It's not some passing fancy.
It's always number one. — Chris Rock

If a homeless person has a funny sign, he hasn't been homeless for that long. A real homeless person is too hungry to be funny. — Chris Rock

Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was to be a teenager. Boy, was I wrong. — Chris Rock

I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus ... and I can plate and set the table. — Chris Rock

For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business. — Chris Rock

God bless America, and no place else. — Chris Rock

Oprah is so rich, I saw John Kerry proposing to her. — Chris Rock

There's bad and then there's EDDY CURRY BAD. — Chris Rock

After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college. — Chris Rock

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world. — Chris Rock

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everyone else. — Chris Rock

Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy. — Chris Rock

I love what Joe Eszterhas written about Bill Clinton. It's hilarious, Clinton as a rock star, which is the way we should remember him. — Chris Matthews

Not a Harvard-type education, ... Just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education. — Chris Rock

I live way below my means. — Chris Rock

Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie. — Chris Rock

Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on. — Chris Rock

Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa. — Chris Rock

If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money. — Chris Rock

America is the greatest country in the whole world. — Chris Rock

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool. — Chris Rock

People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t. — Chris Rock

If you told me two years I would miss the greatest basketball game ever to hang out with Nathan Lane, I'd say, 'You're crazy!' — Chris Rock

I don't need a president with a bucket list! — Chris Rock

The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money. — Chris Rock

I can't even put gas in my plane! — Chris Rock

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. — Chris Rock

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House. — Chris Rock

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes. — Chris Rock

I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!' — Chris Rock

Men are as faithful as their options. — Chris Rock

A live performance is the same no matter what genre it is. Wrestling, rock 'n roll, hosting, acting - it's the same thing. — Chris Jericho

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school. — Chris Rock

When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time. — Chris Rock

The U.S government hates rap music — Chris Rock

You only know that you're smart because you're around dumb people from time to time! — Chris Rock

Black movies don't have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That's not a name, that's just a location. — Chris Rock

The rock still has something to teach me. — Chris Sharma

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you. — Chris Rock

If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner. — Chris Rock

Being with my kids is the best, most fun thing; it's a privilege. — Chris Rock

When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them, you're meeting their representative. — Chris Rock

If I find a comedy club where no one's camera works, I'll go. — Chris Rock

You'd got a baseball game, or a football game, basketball game, "USA! USA! USA!" Hey, calm down! Got a little German on it, don't you think? — Chris Rock

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. — Chris Rock

Artistically I'm curious. But in life? No. I can go to a restaurant and order the same thing for 10 years. — Chris Rock

Chris Rock is a very funny man. — Willie Geist

At the end of the day, I want to be part of the same conversation as Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor. — Kevin Hart

CS: I always say there's a tribal element in a rock concert. There's a real back-and-forth thing that goes on between the audience and the performers. — Chris Stein

You don't pay taxes; they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack. — Chris Rock

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game. — Chris Rock

Carol Leifer is funny, really funny. — Chris Rock

Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career. — Chris Rock

You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something. — Chris Rock

I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian. — Chris Rock

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special. — Chris Rock

Kennedy didn't beat Nixon. Satire beat Nixon. — Chris Rock

I literally don't know what I'm going to do next. That's successful. — Chris Rock

Community college is like a disco with books: "Here's ten dollars; let me get my learn on!" — Chris Rock

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white. — Chris Rock

The Democrats should have an empty chair on stage for the entire DNC, and when anyone asks who it belongs to, they can say Osama bin Laden. — Chris Rock

When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show. — Chris Rock

By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer. — Chris Rock

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous. — Chris Rock

I like Chris Rock. He's dangerous. — Mel Brooks

If you're a black Christian, you have a real short memory. — Chris Rock

When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium. — Chris Rock

Is America ready for a black president? Well, I say we just had a retarded one. When did being black become a bigger deterrent than being retarded? — Chris Rock

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. — Chris Rock

My mother is the kind of woman you don't want to be in line behind at the supermarket. She has coupons for coupons. — Chris Rock