Cats Humor Quotes: top 81 famous quotes about Cats Humor

Cats Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Cats Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Got a bout of doubt? Breathe. — Magdalena VandenBerg

Don't judge a cat by its coat. — Magdalena VandenBerg

If cats looked like frogs we'd realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Style. That's what people remember. — Terry Pratchett

I wrote a book on cats. In retrospect, I should have used paper, cause chapter six got hit by a car. — Wynne McLaughlin

Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse. — Robert A. Heinlein

The human race can be roughly divided into two categories: ailurophiles and ailurophobes - cat lovers and the underprivileged. — David Taylor

Terriers usually have their own agenda, kind of like cats, only with a lot more pointless animation. - Sydney Linden — S.J. Hunter

I'm poor and my cat is huge. — Christopher Moore

Wait a minute. Wait just a hairball kakking minute. — Jody Wallace

Majid gave me a brief dazzling golden stare and then half-lidded his eyes again. I know when my life is being threatened. — Robin McKinley

Rowl felt sure that Bridget's fragile feelings would be crushed if he denied her the pleasure of sharing her meat with him. — Jim Butcher

The gym cat appears to those who will die. He is our totem. This thought came to me a few weeks ago. I shared it with no one of course. — Joyce Carol Oates

This is the story of how I "came down with cat," even though I had decided I would never, ever, own any pet. — Nils Uddenberg

And I thought kitty liter was the unlawful practice of discarding small felines along the roadside. — Robert J. Morrissette

If cats could drive, text and launch missiles, they would rule the world — Quasi

You also yell at the pigeons outside, watch too many cooking shows, and have a blog entirely dedicated to pictures of yourself. — Marie Jacquelyn

Cats can do whatever they want, whenever they want, without regard to what anyone says or does. Rather like Princesses. — Terry Brooks

I have a Siamese twin cat. It's got 2 heads and 18 lives. — M.J. McGuire

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? — Steven Wright

I've been told that my belly is soft as a fluffy cloud. No one can resist my magical belly. Not even grumpy humans. — Yasmine Surovec

I felt like I was well on my way to becoming the neighborhood cat lady. All I needed were the cats. — J. Lynn

The world would probably be better if people were put in carriers and cats roamed free. — Mary Matthews

One of my biggest fears is that I'm going to die alone in my home, and my cats will eat me because I am too dead to open their food cans. — Kelli Jae Baeli

There are a great many aspects to feline life, but the three most important - the Holy Trinity, if you will - are eating, sleeping and washing. — Jem Vanston

'Tell Suzie she's a lucky cat.' Have sexier words ever been spoken? — Ally Carter

Cats have no sense of humor, they have terribly inflated egos, and they are very touchy. — Robert A. Heinlein

cats on hot bricks could take hints from me — P.G. Wodehouse

A cat loped across my gaze with a squint-eyed, piratical look, and a suave grin. — William Styron

The word of a cat is not to be relied upon. — Robin Hobb

Kids are like pissing cats or burrowing moles, marking off land within land, each section with its own rules, beliefs, laws of engagement. — Zadie Smith

A cat is friendly in a hollow sort of way, like the way a prostitute is friendly. — Jonathan-David Jackson

Humans serve cats as dogs serve humans. And sometimes, I fear, as ineptly. — Jon Evans

My main regret in life is that there is no MacArthur Fellowship awarded in the field of Panda Satire. — Anne Belov

It's like they've forgotten everything important, isn't it? I mean, forgotten things like cats and dancing exist. — Katherine Rundell

The coldest depth of Hell is reserved for people who abandon kittens. — Robert A. Heinlein

Meow" means "woof" in cat. — George Carlin

And the Lady's mate. Despite having only two legs and small fangs, there was much that was feline in that one, and he approved. — Anne Bishop

Cats have nine lives. Makes them ideal for experimentation. — Jimmy Carr

I said that I had heard curiosity could be harmful, in particular to cats — Michael Chabon

The cat arrived with a bottle of Scotch. — Christopher S. Wren

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. — Robert A. Heinlein

He might be living on mice, but Chesterton does not look like an animal who is governed by his appetites. He's an ascetic, if Cathbad ever saw one. — Elly Griffiths

No one had ever accused Koko of being naughty. Perverse, perhaps, or arrogant, or despotic. But naughtiness was beneath his dignity. — Lilian Jackson Braun

Would you buy potato chips that listed potato by-product or potato digest as an ingredient — Michelle T. Bernard

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. — Garrison Keillor

Clear clutter. Make space for you. — Magdalena VandenBerg

Loud ringing noises, I've discovered, upset Mr.Peepers. — Meg Cabot

No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. — Abraham Lincoln

If you can love cats, you can love human beings, because you have to be able to love them without getting them at all. — Chris Kelly

To err is human, to purr is feline. — Robert Byrne

But giving drugs to a cat is no joke, Kemp! — H.G.Wells

Are you here for a reason, Cheshire?

Why, yes, I would enjoy a cup of tea. I take mine with lots of cream, and no tea. Thank you. — Marissa Meyer

The main reason they don't use seeing eye cats is because you will end up with the cat, and the blind person, stuck up a tree — Haresh Daswani

If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. — Lemony Snicket

It might be that the biggest division in the world isn't men and women but folks who like cats and folks who like dogs - (L.T.'s Theory of Pets) — Stephen King

Cats gravitate to kitchens like rocks gravitate to gravity. — Terry Pratchett

All I can do is read about zombie cats - and wait. — Angela Cervantes

That weekend my people brought home
a big eared gray scrawny kit.
He was so loud and annoying
that I did not like him one bit. — Melinda K. Trotter

You fuck - you ate my cat! — Kendare Blake

If life gives you the wobbles make jelly. — Magdalena VandenBerg

A lot of people like cats. Take the Pope, for example: I read recently that he was a cat-oholic! — Milton Jones

Toilet paper unrolled and slithered
then wrapped around my tummy.
That paper tried to roll me up
into an Egyptian mummy. — Melinda K. Trotter

There's a difference between preferring books to parties and preferring sixteen cats to seeing the light of day. — Lauren Morrill

The only cats worth anything are the cats that take chances. — Thelonious Monk

At night all cats are grey. — George Orwell

Then stop being a know-it-all lionpaw retorted You're not my mentor so stay out of my fur.
Lionpaw at Berrynose in Outcast pg 67 — Erin Hunter

Cats. You can't live with them, and the fur's too thin for a rug. — Mercedes Lackey

I've got a Siamese cat. It has 2 heads and 18 lives. — M.J. McGuire

I didn't know that cats could grin.'
'They all can,' said the Duchess, 'and most of 'em do. — Lewis Carroll

Well. I am not afraid. But to protect you, Katerina, I will be discreet. Plain Kate considered a cat's idea of discretion, and was frightened. — Erin Bow

AC/DC is very easy to miao along to! — Jean Lowe Carlson

As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line. — Scott Adams

I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance - a sharp, vindictive glance.
— James Thurber

Cat love is genuine, because it's 10 percent devotion and 90 percent frustration and betrayal. - 67 REASONS WHY CATS ARE BETTER THAN DOGS — Jack Shepard

You cats mind if I make it a trio?' he asked me, and it was not a huge surprise that a dude of his appearance was speaking in Jazz Voice. — Jesse Andrews

They say there are
Twenty-four hours in a day
But I'm only up for three of them
And two I consider overtime — Francesco Marciuliano

Did he eat the other cats at the pet shop? He's huge! — Yori

God's only mistakes are dogs and not giving cats opposable thumbs. Otherwise, it's a perfect world. — Quasi

There is no known cure for severe affection for one's cat. The only way to relieve the symptoms is to go ahead and launch a kiss attack. — Tichakorn Khroopan Hill

One must love a cat on its own terms. — Paul Gray

Cats don't need to be possessed; they're evil on their own. — Peter Kreeft