Carlos Mencia Quotes
Collection of top 37 famous quotes about Carlos Mencia
Carlos Mencia Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Carlos Mencia quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.
— Carlos Mencia
America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.
— Carlos Mencia
That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!
— Carlos Mencia
I'll know America is in bad shape when Cubans in Miami get in the water and swim back to Cuba.
— Carlos Mencia
Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, Aquaman?
— Carlos Mencia
Do not encourage my behaviour.
— Carlos Mencia
Here, let's go to my dressing room, and I promise, I'll only put it in for a second.
— Carlos Mencia
Racism is exclusion, that's why I make fun of everybody.
— Carlos Mencia
When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.
— Carlos Mencia
When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!
— Carlos Mencia
I don't know what I believe. I guess that makes me a Christmas Tree Agnostic.
— Stephanie Perkins
I just don't crave junk food.
— Cat Deeley
If your gonna drop out of school - tough grades are not your goal - then change your name to Candy and learn to work a pole.
— Carlos Mencia
I feel I stand in a desert with my hands outstretched, and you are raining down upon me.
— Patricia Highsmith
I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!
— Carlos Mencia
When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.
— Carlos Mencia
Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.
— Carlos Mencia
We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?
— Carlos Mencia
Whatever is, is in its causes just.
— John Dryden
Why did the 14-year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.
— Carlos Mencia
God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.
— Carlos Mencia
Know your religion, know who you are and don't be ashamed.
— Carlos Mencia
If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.
— Carlos Mencia
I'm glad Hurricane Katrina happened. It taught us an important lesson: black people can't swim.
— Carlos Mencia
You are the biggest threat to your emotional and physical health if you don't set aside time for relaxation, joy, and personal growth.
— Maddy Malhotra
If God made Adam and Eve, they had children ... wait a minute ... that means someone banged their sister!
— Carlos Mencia
Fungi are the interface organisms between life and death.
— Paul Stamets
The problem with the world is there's too many stupid people and nobody to eat them.
— Carlos Mencia
In war, men lose what makes them great. Their creativity. Their wisdom. Their joy. All that's left is their utility. War
— Pierce Brown
If you aren't laughing, you aren't living!
— Carlos Mencia